beating your drum (rehashed)

After having written this post I decided to rewrite it. Beating our own drum is not so much about being stubborn and not listening about what others opinions are of you, but more about refusing to accept any judgement on it and simply enjoy what you are doing. According to Joi - a lovely, professional and unique web designer with a talent for the quirky (and she is also a dear tweet friend) - did a great post on April 11 about whether to celebrate her introvertism or damn it to the stars when attending a social media conference. I thought it was great.

The weird part is that if we are not carefull we might actually care more about other opinions then our own. It's a common malpractise.

There's a lot to be said for originality, and also for continuing to beat your own drum in a positive way without annoying the crap out of others. As a matter of fact it can be quite useful to make that music but not tell too many people about it. You don't always need to. Just enjoy doing 'your own thing' whatever this may be.

And it always boils down to our attitude that determines which people we attract by the mere reactions we offer the world. I'm paying more attention to how how I feel and what I do as it seems to literally influence who I meet. Giving others power over our own assessment and gut instinct leads to self doubt. The only one who knows best what to do and how to choose is you and also how to be you. Stick with it.


(with thanks to Joi for her kick ass illustrations.)

Being remarkable?

Many people say they are busy. Are they really? Or do they just run around and that way they appear to be? There’s a difference between being busy and actually getting things done.

The ambitious beasties among us like to be exceptional. We fluff, puff and eventually we come across a mirror and laugh at ourselves. Does it matter to be unique? Does it matter whether we are extraordinary? Everyone likes 'different' but not too much of it.

“To be a superstar, you must do something exceptional. The next time you catch yourself being average when you feel like quitting, realize that you have only two good choices: quit or be exceptional. Average is for losers.” (Seth Godin)

Quitting continuing to build my network Quality Living made me realize several things:
1. I really have to learn to stick with my gut instinct. It’s always right.
2. That to be successful at anything, you need the market to be really excited about it. It has to 'grab' people.
3. Only true passion, belief and 150% devotion make any endeavor successful.
4. Quiting teaches the value of experience and wisdom. It's better to have tried and learned then not have done a thing at all.

Getting back to the fear of catching the common cold. Sometimes we feel there's enough of everything around. Is wanting to stand out, and be remarkable important? What does it mean? Why do we want to leave a mark on the world? Why be different?

· “Remarkable is being unafraid to stand out
· Remarkable is having a fire in your belly and an idea that won't quit.
· Remarkable is telling the truth, always
· Remarkable is knowing that a risky idea might fail, but a boring idea will definitely fail.
· Remarkable is falling often and then trying again
· Remarkable is doing more and less planning. More testing and less waiting. More dreaming and less sleeping.
· Remarkable is when you stand for something and make it happen and change the world - or your business or your life- along the way.
· Remarkable isn't up to you. Remarkable is in the eye of the customer. If your customer decided something you do is worth remarking on, then, by definition, it's remarkable.”. Seth Godin

It’s more important to follow your own way and do what your heart tells you. I found I have to learn how to listen to myself, instead of to anyone else. What I keep seeing is that you have to trust the process and keep believing in yourself. Focussing on what you love the most and doing that is always the best way to go.

So wanting to be remarkable is one side of the story, counting your blessings can be equally powerful. We tend to gloss over what we have achieved already. The most remarkable people are remembered for what they did for others in society, for what they contributed and the changes they made. 'Superstars' have been able to develop due to all the support they received.

Growing to be the best you can be and striving to work your bootie off is great. Just keep in mind what you are doing it for, and for whom. What does being remarkable mean to you? What makes you "you"?

New times

Today I wanted to share a shortened version of an article by the blogger and entrepreneur Steve Pavlina. The man is insightful and I can relate to what he says and thought you would too. I thought the topic Exposing Your Uniqueness is amazingly apt. He writes it so well I don't see the point of repeating him as, after all, we are all best to show the uniqueness of who we are and not borrow that of others. You think about it.

On a day when the 44th President of the US has been inaugurated and the Americans take hold of the future before them, it’s time for all of us to look at what we can do for ourselves, but also for others. There’s no more sitting on your hands, waiting for the economy to get better in order to keep your job and secure your finances, it’s literally a new time. Get to it, there’s plenty to be done and it’s up to each of us to make it work. Be done with the old stuff as it no longer serves you. Start afresh and please, be true.

http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/ posted 15th of Jan 09
"Most people lead with their sameness and hide their uniqueness, so as to maximize their chance of being accepted by others. I prefer to share my uniqueness openly. As you can probably guess, this exposes me to criticism — sometimes a great deal of criticism. But I’d rather be judged for the man that I am than accepted as someone I pretend to be. (…)

Does it bother you to know that if you totally opened up and shared your real self with the world, warts and all, that you’d attract some criticism, judgment, and condemnation? Would it bother you to discover that some of the harshest judgment might come from the very friends and family you keep right now? (…) When you show the world a false front, the world responds with false acceptance. When you show the world your true self, you’ll receive both harsh judgment as well as genuine acceptance. (…)

There’s something really amazing about being around people who love and accept you as you are. This doesn’t mean such people won’t stimulate and challenge you to grow — in fact, they often will. But it means you can feel totally safe in their presence. There’s no need to worry about being rejected or condemned for being who you are. Being nonjudgmental is a step toward unconditional love. A good place to start on this path is to love and accept yourself. Stop beating yourself up for past mistakes. If you can’t love and accept yourself, you’ll have a hard time loving and accepting others, and vice versa. (…)

The road to misery is trying to satisfy other people’s expectations. Instead of trying to please others, decide to live congruently with your own ideals and values, and allow others the freedom to do the same. Some people will accuse you of being selfish for doing so, when in truth you’re performing one of the most important services this planet needs — demonstrating how to live honestly and authentically.

If you cannot share your true self with the world, your life will be filled with shallow, inauthentic connections at best. The relationship you maintain with your inner self, when you’re all alone with your private thoughts, will be very different than what you experience with other people. Your personality will be split between your private persona and your public one. You will probably crave solitude more and more because at least when you’re alone, you’re free to put down your mask and be yourself, without risking the judgment of others. (…)

Imagine what a delightful world this would be if we were all open and honest with each other, while also being completely accepting and nonjudgmental with respect to our differences. This is the reality I wish to experience. I previously shared this vision in my book as the Oneness World exercise, and it’s also reproduced on this site in the article Oneness. (…)"