the workplace

Someone I know has been going through an interesting time at work. If I didn't know any better I'd say it was a sandpit wrestle more commonly carried out by toddlers. Why adults are able to display crazy attitudes in a professional environment and think this behavior is acceptable is beyond me. It is entertaining to a certain degree, but for the people involved it's just a pain in the proverbial. So what are we dealing with here?

Wiki: "Workplace bullying, like childhood bullying, is the tendency of individuals or groups to use persistent aggressive or unreasonable behaviour against a co-worker or subordinate. Workplace bullying can include such tactics as verbal, nonverbal, psychological, physical abuse and humiliation. This type of aggression is particularly difficult because unlike the typical forms of school bullying, workplace bullies often operate within the established rules and policies of their organization and their society. Bullying in the workplace is in the majority of cases reported as having been perpetrated by management and takes a wide variety of forms:

• Unfair treatment
• Public humiliation
• Regular threats of dismissal
• Any form of undermining behaviour
• Credit for work attributed to others
• Denial of promotion or training opportunities
• Quick to criticism and slow praise
• Character assassination
• Malicious rumors
• Smear campaigns
• Social ostracism
• Physical assault"

These fun and games take place over time, and before you know it we are seriously wondering why we are working in this environment at all. What are we doing here again? 


So what can we do when we're niggled at?

1. Deflect the bully if you can. Remain calm, stand firm, and try to keep up a confident appearance. Keep a detailed record of every incident; you will need it as proof if you decide to make a complaint.

2. Check your job description. If you suddenly find yourself being set menial tasks, or are given an increased workload with shorter deadlines, and it isn't in your contract then you can do something about it.

3. Try to get witnesses to bullying incidents, and avoid situations where you are alone with the bully.

4. Get advice from your trade union, or from personnel and health and safety officers at work. Does your employer have a policy on harassment or against unacceptable behaviour?

5. Take a stress management course, and do some assertiveness training. They are good for your general health, and will help you in the future.

6. If you go ahead with a complaint, choose your words carefully. State the facts clearly, but don't get sucked into a slanging match - you could be accused of malicious behaviour.

7. Get emotional support from your family and friends, talk to them about how you are feeling. Ask your GP about counselling. Take sick leave if you need it.

8. If you decide to leave your job because of the bullying, let your company know exactly why you are resigning. It may help others in the future.

9. If you wish to pursue a legal claim against your employer, start by taking advice from your union. If you have a good case, they will take it up on your behalf.

10. Many forms of legal action that may be possible, including: industrial tribunals, civil claims for personal injury, and sometimes even criminal action.

(source tips: TheSite)

Sticking to the facts seem to be the go. I would also suggest to look at our own "contributions". There are always 2 sides to the story and it would not be credible if we didn't ponder what we might have added to the mix. Yes some people are just pricks, still, let's not rule out our own intriguing dispositions. That way, if we sit in that air-conditioned room with a member of the Union present, glaring over a stand-in-coffee, we know where we stand and where we're at. 

"The best defense is a good offence?" Just do your homework amigo.

Complaining is branding too

Complaining is negative personal branding: you help create your own negative image by whining. Yessirree. This also means that positive branding occurs when you are shining the white feathery light of upliftiness.


So what’s groovy today? Well, for me: tons. Life is good people. And to top it all off again: Today is Friday. Woohoo. Always a good thing!

So how about 'uncomplaining'? Good question. I think once you’ve said whatever you did, it’s like turning the tap and water flows. You can hardly put a cork in there can you? Better to be aware and try not to start doing it. The opposite of complaining is 'appreciating that which is'.

I have moments of yippee-ing and groaning. I blamed lack of vitamin c and b but there’s only so much you go on about it, besides: the blaming game doesn’t get me anywhere. The other day someone told me “you always look at the positive of everything don’t you?” Well the truth is, I try to. I’ve noticed people are more inclined to hang around me when I make them laugh and am helpful. Especially the cracking of jokes seems to do wonders. I’m reminded of this by en elderly client who’s an expert at that - which reminds me to see the lightness of things. I think it helps all of us when we explore avenues of laughter as this is how you stay young at heart. Let’s face it: complaining is just SO boring.

So what do we do? We do not try to erase our previous tantrums or woopsiness.
We start “Behaving ‘as if’”

“What if your life is going differently then you intended? What if all falls by the wayside leaving you in tears? Would it be the end of the world? Of course not. But it may feel like that.

Confidence, gratefulness and behaving ‘as if’ can help you greatly in reshaping the experience of your life. Find that place of peace inside you and picture you’re whole being filling with Joy. When you are feeling this sunny side up feeling there will not be room for doubt, worry or fear.
So! On we go, exuding this aura of happiness and give it to others. By lighting our own candle (and not burning it at both ends) we can help people as well. We remind them of that which they may have forgotten.

Hello, how are you? What can I do for you? What do you need today? Listen to them. Make them feel better if you can. The world needs more love and understanding, less judgment and alienation.”

Give it a whirl:

1. Be grateful for your life and what is in it, many people do not share your luxurious surroundings or feel safe, have enough to eat and have friends.
2. Behave ‘as if’ your life is the way you’d like it to be. You’re happy at home, your work is going well and everything is starting to fall into place. Just roll with it. Make changes if you need to but act as if it’s all according to plan.
3. Confidence: feel it and act like it. You have got many talents. Try not to be someone else, being yourself is all there is.
Source: Steve Pavlina

Hello world! Here we are. Feels a lot better doesn’t it? More fun too.

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.
Mahatma Ghandi Indian political and spiritual leader (1869 - 1948)

When you relinquish the desire to control your future, you can have more happiness.
Nicole Kidman in The Scotsman