trying too hard

Working hard can be useful. Working hard can be fun. Heck working hard can even be peaceful.

There is such a thing though as trying to hard:
Trying to hard to finish things when clearly time and energy are against you
Trying too hard to make it work with others when clearly it's not
Trying too hard when the marriage is over
Trying too hard to get people to like you when you're fine as you are
Trying too hard to make money when you're not enjoying the job
Trying too hard to juggle too many things
Trying too hard to make a point
Trying too hard to convince someone else. Why do you?
Trying too hard to get slim. Think healthy instead.
Trying too hard to keep all your promises.
Trying too hard to get "it all done".
Trying too hard to keep a clean house.
Trying too hard to ensure the kids grow up okay.
Trying too hard in bed.
Trying too hard to be funny.
Trying too hard to succeed. What is success anyway?
Trying too hard to "get ahead". What will you find once you have reached your goal?
Trying too hard to get time off.
Trying too hard to build your business. Live instead?
Trying too hard to fit in. Just do your own thing.
Trying too hard is... simply too hard!

So what is it with this hard business that we forget about the soft aspect? If you'd be too soft we would be in a very difference place right now. Yes it might look too pink and marshmellowy and society could slow down to a standstill... we could live in Barbapappa ville before we knew it. However it could be more pleasant. And we might notice what was actually already there.

So... are you trying too hard at the moment and need to mellow out or... did you get too soft to notice?

focus

I'm reading a number of books at the moment, most likely too many. I think this gives a good indication where my mind has been: in too many places. I'm toning myself down again. Not only has it been a time to regroup on the weekend but also a time to re-choose regarding where my priorities lie. All of us experience this. How to go about your life and what to busy yourself with.

Reading (finally) Napoleon Hill's book (I love the 70s crumpled version I have) it has made me realize hey there's simply no way and no point to dilute my energy to such a point of exhaustion, that one wonders what the heck the point was of starting an activity in the first place. (Anyone recognize this? I bet you do.)

So I am asking myself the question I think many of us tend to forget: what. do. I. really. want. to. do? I'm not talking about just an idea or 'yep that will do'. I'm talking about the kind of conviction that wakes you up in a tizzy of excitement. One that you just KNOW is right and that needs your attention. It keeps you fuelled and running around with a smile on your face.

You see we THINK we know what we want to do, but really we usually want to play and do so many things. Ah how about this? Yes usually it is fun for a while but then later we may realize we had enough. This can be fine or dangerous, the latter mainly when you're sharing the activity with others. So I thought about it as I am much more in favor of working on exciting projects or work that will carry on for more then just one year. (I'm not the quick excited social bunny I used to be.)

Desire.
Purpose.
Thoughts.
Ideas.
Manifestation.
Goals.
Results.
Process.
Achievements.
Growth.
Expansion.

In my case I know for a fact that what I do now, I will not be doing in 5 years time. What I want to do in my entire life are various things that I have trouble choosing a small selection from. So I considered choosing 1 predominant activity and one sub activity and going with that, opposed to 4. That feels better. There are overlaps in my smorgasboard of options so I need to clarify those.

The exercise of the Focus Wheel came to mind. Therefore I've taken an A4 and actually have drawn my desires on it and written the statements. Wishes have nothing to do with it. I'm not talking fluffy bunny-ing in the park here, it's about defogging the mirror and uplifting the goal. (Join me and dot yours down.) The Focus Wheel is great for general statements about how you feel about something.

I figured that my problem has been too many desires, more like fleeting desires or wants instead of longer term pursuits. Many artists have this dilemma. It doesn't mean I want to stick with one desire forever as I know I would like to experience new things once I have mastered one aspect. My current work activities all deserve attention, but how much? And does it really? These continue to be big and good questions. It's all beneficial to go through writing it down and clearing the head (Mooodlies of course stays). I've made a lot of progress over the years but I reckon I could do better.

First I decided to do the focus wheel and then to work out the nitty gritty of eliminating problem areas from my to do list. As quite a few are longer term they need to be divided in steps to process everything more easily. I have always found this challenging: how to keep an eye on so many things with different time frames? It's like playing 3d Chess where multiple games are played at the one time with one board. Exactly. It's not just a matter of cramming it in my agenda or keeping a large wall planner.

So I have started narrowing it down. You know zooming in style. Questions, problems, dilemmas and then its options. This helps to basically help decide to go over all options and determine the solution I like best, then it's far easier to carry the work out and done! This doing and finishing is vital. Self discipline is certainly essential in this process. Finishing small jobs and projects brings both satisfaction and progress. Also it is essential to kick butt in order to move quickly through the river of mud.

So what do we need to add to the list above (that Napoleon Hill also mentioned)? Perseverence and dedication. Not in a flog yourself way, but a focused self steering way. It needn't be hard either as it contributes to the main desire. I believe that one can achieve many goals and ideas-brought-to-life when we are happily and energetically dedicated and we finally have a grasp on our organizing capabilities. Did I mention delegating and outsourcing is beneficial? Do it.

Nico and I have decided to watch less tv, we already stopped watching daily tv shows, I'm talking about the occasional dvd or watching a serie. We are cutting this back too. Why? Because we noticed that instead of relaxing-time we'd still feel tired so it would be more sensible to cut it out alltogether or limit it severely and read a book or do some other work we can enjoy that quiets the mind. (Apparently this zenning of activities helps to relax and create more space for yourself!) What energizes you really? Do that most. Ditch the rest I say.
(It is SO well phrased in this great post here by Scott Scheper as a Zen Master tells him how it's done.)

Which brings me to focusing again and the bottomline: Keeping It Simple Stupid.
Narrowing down the most important things for you and how to manage these are of course essential. Then there's the how-close-do-you-stay-to-your-own-truth? Not the gospel kind altough that could certainly have something to do with it but the kind that says: hang on am I still doing what I want to be doing? If you, like me, have times when you seriously wonder why you do what you do at times then yes it's time for a time out and overhaul of existing beliefs and actions. Sweep it baby!

Our lives in this physical format do not last indefintely, which means we would do well to get a focused grap on our time. So back to the focus wheel: how do you feel about what you are doing? And on time management: how effective are you really in finishing things? And as the Zen Master said: our today's world is so full of distractions that we have trouble distracting ourselves from it. So what do we need to do in order to manage our lives well?

1. Use a weekly planner
2. A year planner (this has my vote)
3. Focus list (generally 3 things for every day segment opposed to 40.)

Combining the desire as the focused feeling and the effective carrying out of that focus brings you results AND satisfaction. It however asks of you to: dedicate yourself and put yourself first. A change in habits and in thinking will bring you more fun!

(note: I will give myself one month to stick with this consistent plan like a fly on poop or a garden gnome on his gardenflowers and then see how the results speak for themselves! I think I will see an increase in effective productivity, results and I will feel better about it too.)

black sheep

Bullying is also called "harassment". Someone very close to me* has been targeted at his work. What he does about it is naturally his decision. I have been telling him to leave that workplace as it's infested with negativism. When people ask me about this company that's what I say, as it is my personal opinion. And I'll be happy to tell everyone far and wide. I'll them on twitter I tell them on Facebook I tell them in person.

It used to upset me a lot that a senior manager could mis use his power and along with other cronies start targeting staff just because he can, just because the staff actually give a damn and ask difficult questions. It's such a waste of time and energy this power play song and dance; it's unreal. Yet the good news is that we can choose again. We do not need to abide by rules just because 'we have done this that way for the past 100 years' and 'you just have to listen to me'. Come on this is 2011 already.

The truth is that of course there is probably more to the story and yes I have taken his story with grains of salt as one should do. I think the writing is on the wall though when all of his immediate colleagues are looking for other jobs, and one has left because of bullying already and another because he could no longer stand the depressing atmosphere. Mostly I find it sad, because without realizing it the senior manager has solely achieved this:
- adding more bad vibes to the company and sending the good people out the door first (they are the smartest and most talented and run quickly when they clue in.)
- less productivity and low morale, the least talented crew stays
- bad or worse results in production
- bad PR as news gets out so the company's image deteriorates slowly but steadily.
In effect: I see little benefits to the whole power play episode. Maybe a bully can help me out here to see reason.

And now for the good news:
People have a choice. He has learned a lot while working for this company both good and bad. I have to add that there are actually nice people there too. (One of them is Mary I love Mary.) Once he leaves he will be baffled and surprised he stuck with them for so long. Bullying kills respect and loyalty faster then a mouse can fart. The freedom to experience different working relationships will do this person good. He's already been approached to work for other companies so don't feel bad for him, we don't. It's very educational.

Instead of focusing on the bad let's focus on the good now;
you always have a choice in regards to what work environment you choose to be in. I'm not talking about the kind of job, but the vibe a place has, what is their behavior like? Do you feel happy there or most of the time? Are your colleagues supportive? Why do you come to work everyday? Do you understand your part in the equation?

Ideally we like to work in an environment that nurtures us. Why? Because that is human nature, to be part of a tribe, to belong, to work for something that is bigger then us. to believe in something good, to share a common goal and yes, to generate income. Research tells us that for most people the money is like a sideline, what we really want is to feel useful, to contribute and to be appreciated. 

Whatever it is you do, my vote is on doing it happily. The bottom line is: if you agree with it continue, if it makes you unhappy question your motives of being there. Oh and to the bullies: the game is up. We know why you do what you do and we choose another experience. Because we can.


*this person very close to me has asked me to withhold his identity until he resigns, and he has decided on a date to do so. I hope his 'chat' today goes well, in the sense that he will be able to stick by himself and not be tempted to sink to their level or be 'black-sheepie-fied'. Time will tell.

finding it?

A lot of people are "looking", so how about "finding"?


Many of us get excited about the idea of looking for "something". Either a new training in spirituality will do the trick, reading this amazing book should have the answers, or buying the new car or securing the new job that will bring it all home. Maybe that or we go on a happy quest to introduce inspiring people in our lives to make us feel better. Whatever distraction works to avoid looking at ourselves. It's easier to focus on "out there".


Perhaps we will get satisfaction or we don't. Then when we do think we might finally get the answer, ironically we discover after a while that our new solution, friend, or newly purchased item wasn't quite what we wanted to have after all. We got the money but not the freedom. We get a sense of direction again from our guru but they don't want to hold our hands. We get the new car but have to pay more money for road user charges and insurance. We get the new friend but keep wanting to find others as to keep ourselves feeling excited and distracted. The new job provides us with more income and experience, but perhaps has new colleagues that are difficult to work with. So what did we ask for... really? Hmm.


The more you look at something out there, the more you miss the point of looking and finding "in here" (corny as heck but there you go). We have the tendency to run away from the "in here" times, including the writer of this post. Why? Because we don't know what we'll find "in here" for sure and whether we'll like it. Isn't it easier to say: there, THAT should fix my nagging feelings. Please let me win lotto and I'll be happy forever.... Uhuh.

The funny thing is that you are already kitted out perfectly.

Let's start here: the letting go of the need to know any outcome will work wonders. Fear will leave you. The controlling urges will subside. You don't need a 100 friends, just a few kick ass ones will be awesome already. How long do you plan to pussy foot about? The distractions you were seeking were just that, some entertainment fluff. Did you really choose it, or was it just to keep you occupied? (I know it sounds meehhh but that's what this post is about.)

The only answer to feeling happy, or happier, is to see that your life, in whatever state that it is, is catering exactly to the need of what you are expecting. As la dee da as it may sound, the less you want, and even less you need, the more satisfied you'll feel. It's the making peace, as well as the seeing all there is and not judging it but appreciating it, that will help greatly in putting a smile back on your face, and a trusting hippety hoppety in your step. Things can only get better. You can always choose differently. Just chill out. 

Life is wondrous. Just expect it to be and go about it accordingly. And for heavens sake have some more fun! All that serious stuff can give you the heebie jeebies. And others too.

instead

Instead of having to live a life

of pretense

of performing

of needing anything

Instead.

I like to run my own time

Be my own man

Be my own woman.

Instead

I like to serenade the night skies

watch possums fly overhead

and be still again. And wonder.

Instead.

Of eating a peanut-butter and jelly sandwich

I will drink a green smoothie

Instead of sadness I'll have joy.

Instead of required compliance

I'll have enough to go on

No people no noise

No crowd no talks

I'll be just me.

Instead.

__________________________________

Poem for a dear friend of mine.

the hard yards

Often we may feel we are always doing the "hard yards". Working when others have stopped doing so, working the weekends, looking after children when we may not feel like it, visiting people when we'd rather collapse on the couch at home, listen to a client who's getting on our nerves, having to phone someone when we don't feel like it, take the trash out and do the dishes, and on and on.

So are those hard yards really worth it or are we really fooling ourselves thinking that making our own lives difficult will somehow help us towards becoming more joyous in our work and daily life? Since when has punishing ourselves with dedication to other causes then what we really want to do, aided us in feeling better about ourselves?

Yep. I don't know the magic number either. Having a farm-let did teach me this: whether you are happy or sad, tired like hell or happy: the animals always need tending to and always come first (if you have kids enter "kids" where I had put "animals" -same rule applies.) So yes by all means finish projects you know need doing, but allow "me time" to balance yourself out. You are as important as the people you promised you would do things for.

Instead of getting so worn out that you feel like being in a continual state of full blown PMS, consider the opposite:

fighting or battling against something will cost you more energy then if you accept that at the moment it is all simply as it is. (I have done this regarding my daily work and my that has made a huge amount of difference, I'm even quite restful about it. I can be Zen when others get in a tizzy.)

Then take your foot of the friggin' accelerator and park next to the road. Notice the wild flowers. See the hare dashing across the road in the distance. Sniff some hay-fever elements! In any event; stop pushing yourself like you have a work addiction. Seriously! Would it be the end of the world if a project would finish later? Would it matter that the house is still not painted before Christmas? Would it matter you will not have a flash dinner this Christmas day but instead settle for a "salad in 5 min option"? Does it really concern you that you are a bit late with some things you wanted to do this year? 

Once you step outside of that zone of "have to have to have to panic panic tired tired PMS feelings" you will notice something quite wondrous!

The sun comes up every morning. You actually see it this time. Everything simply pans out as it pans out. You will however have reclaimed your sanity. That my friends, is already a miracle this time of year. Now go find a friend or a lovely tree, and hug it. Voila! Instant happiness. Just... Chill... Out!! You have worked hard! Now have some fun too or simply allow some extra hours snoozing in bed.

Told you it could be done. You just have to allow yourself to try. And stop pushing.

"Battle less, love more" - Gabriel

Feng Shui

Today I am having a wonderful interview with an inspiring Parisian lady in San Francisco: Catherine Grison, Soul Artisan for People and Spaces. I have met Catherine through the inter-connective world that is Twitter. 

Catherine is a certified and stylish Feng Shui Master, and she implements this knowledge so she herself, and her clients and friends, can enjoy more joy, more abundance and also better health in their lives. Her credo is: "Life is not beige!" She founded Your French Accent, her “Decorator Extraordinaire and Beyond” consulting company in 2004.

Her website: http://www.yourfrenchaccent.com/ 

She says: "When I moved to San Francisco, 10 years ago, and began to work in the furniture industry, I was shocked to see that most people were "matching" sofas and chairs, "blending" neutrals. The only real colors in retail were mostly dark reds on leather library chairs. I was then working at the brand new Crate and Barrel Furniture store downtown San Francisco, in the fine furniture department.  To this day, I still remember how happy one of my customers was when he came back to me and announced: "I made it Catherine! I listened to you and I went for color! You can be proud of me!" He was holding a dark chocolate velvet pillow. Dark chocolate. To go on his all beige furniture...  I had envisioned a more powerful combination like a hot pink or spring green to make the room happen... However it was a start and I congratulated him! “

Why did you move from Paris to San Francisco?

I moved to California to live with the (American) man I loved and met in Paris. It was heart breaking to leave Paris. It took me 4 years to feel at home here. We did not live in San Francisco but in Pacifica, a secluded coastal small town. Too much water… Pacifica is gorgeous but I am a city girl. I need Fire. At first I thought I will not survive when I came to Pacifica. I could not even look though the windows: all these small houses and the big ocean were so lonely too me. I was looking desperately for high energy, crowds, and tall buildings! Despite my job in San Francisco, I felt so isolated, dying inside. Then step by step, I met incredible people, developed new true friendships. I began yoga, enrolled in a 3-year Feng Shui program which I graduated from and uncovered my spiritual path. I founded Your French Accent, my “Decorator Extraordinaire and Beyond” consulting company. I learned so much during these Pacifican years…

As soon as we (happily) divorced, I moved to Potrero Hill in San Francisco. Here I could reinvent myself again, open myself up to possibilities.

How did you get your business started?

It's different here, how things work, compared to Paris. When I arrived I did not want to go back to coaching without knowing the culture; it would not have been ethical. I started exploring… In Paris I used to work in management, coaching, training. I have a master’s degree in Communication, Linguistics & Training. I used to design programs, coach store managers, and train sales associates. So when I started working in San Francisco I thought: the home environment is the best place for me to understand the culture. When people buy furniture, they tell you their story. If they don’t, you are not a good listener! In the meanwhile I had entered a 3 year Feng Shui certification program. My clients were asking me to furnish more and more homes; the logical next step was to start a business.

What is important to you?

I use an integrative Feng Shui to help other people improve their lives, their health, their level of happiness. I used to be a more black & white person, sure of how things "had to be". I was a personal development fascist! My vision is far more flexible now. I try to help others grow, and myself too, what is very important to me. My clients say I am honest and straight forward. I see people from the inside, I do not sugar coat. I have integrity and also humor. A lot of my clients have become friends. My best advertisement is 'word of mouth', which leads to work. I'm a very pragmatic person with her 3^rd eye wide opened. I use my common sense and a pendulum too!

So what would be your Feng Shui advice for my readers today?

Any place is related to your life. Feng Shui means Wind and Water, the two elements which create life. Any place is a reflection of our own being. For example: I worked with a lady who had a 2 bedroom condo: she asked for decoration advice. The Lady did not want me to enter a particular room. Eventually I did see it and it was a disaster. It was filled to the brim with "stuff". It was very hard to walk around. The rest of the apartment was very tidy. It turned out that her father used to be living there, so she kept it closed, she didn't want to think about this room, let alone start cleaning it out.

The truth is that if you lock a door, the room is still there, and the emotions behind it are still there too. Blocked up areas will affect you mentally and your health, whether you realize it or not, whether you see them or not.

Keep only what is successful or enjoyable.  Always find ways to enjoy life. Many say it's good to do "this" after.... after what? There is NO after, there is just that what is now. I have a ritual called “The Past is over” to help people move forward, and step in their Present. Together we burn the past, literally. It is a very powerful ceremony!

My advice is that you need to use every room in the house, every object. You can't hide from yourself. Feng Shui and interior decorating is not about focusing on what's wrong, it's about improving spaces and thus improving your life in general. If you deny a piece of yourself, it's best to address it now, observe how you have treated your house and your rooms. It will tell you more than you think! So Feng Shui has a lot of hidden psychology embedded in the flow of the house. The key is to let the energy flow as best as it can. Avoid having sharp corners, add greenery, colors. Think symbols!

How can Catherine help us?

Now look around you! There is nothing quicker and cheaper than adding a layer of fresh paint to change the energy and the look of a room, whether in a home, an office, a business, a restaurant... And if you know somebody you love and who needs a lift, you can even gift my services. It may change a life!

Fortunately for all of us, Catherine does remote consultations. I thought it was a delight talking to her on Skype and having a real time conversation together. This means that you can email and skype her too, book a consultation, sending a floor plan and photos over for her to perform a full analysis and help you clear the areas of your life and your space that you have found troubling or difficult to organize.

Send her an email with any questions you may have, to ask for a quote: yourfrenchaccent@gmail.com

Check out her blog too: http://www.frenchshuicafe.com/ which she reorganizes now to provide more quick services and to-the-point advice, including spiritual guidance and deco tips, building also more global community…

You can of course “Like” Catherine’s services on Facebook:

http://www.facebook.com/CatherineGrisonYourFrenchAccent?ref=ts

http://www.facebook.com/FrenchShuiCafe?ref=ts

and follow her on Twitter:

@catherinegrison

@frenchshuicafe

not just about green

I can spot several today, for example:


Have to versus Want to:

• food: I want to eat meat that has had a great life so I "want to" only eat that, as both Nico and I don't like supporting the meat abattoirs aka animal concentration camps (the horrors that happen in there are beyond belief, it makes me feel sick ). So hence we keep our own cattle and ALSO see them come to their end in our paddock. We care about our animals a lot. They actually die happily, if you can call it that. And we are sad when it happens, but at least we know what we eat.
• vegetable garden: we "want to" eat veggies without pesticides and therefor can enjoy the bounty that comes out of our garden. The carrots are absolutely amazing.
• home: we "want to" have the least impact on the environment so are working towards having a house that is self sustainable, and one that doesn't use diesel to heat the radiators. This choice makes things harder, but also more responsible and less wasteful in future. It makes us feel better!
• work: we actually discovered that we "have to" less then we thought. We're doing our homework regarding what we really "want to" do in order to establish this reality. It is a lot of fun planning that future!
• design-work: I "want to" use GREEN materials for my design products. Therefor I "want to" find them. It's not so much a choice for me as almost a requirement, a necessity. My tea towels at the moment are not eco so I am looking at other options. At least my future cushion designs will be printed on organic cotton, so I would like to find a tea towel material that is green too.

So in short: have you thought about what you have to do versus what you want to do? Do you really have to do or use all that stuff? Do you need to? Are there alternatives? 

And really: isn't it cool how other ways can actually work just as well, if not better?

Read Simon Mainwaring's excellent post too on: "Lessons from BP and bankers: The need for a more Sustainable Future".

the workplace

Someone I know has been going through an interesting time at work. If I didn't know any better I'd say it was a sandpit wrestle more commonly carried out by toddlers. Why adults are able to display crazy attitudes in a professional environment and think this behavior is acceptable is beyond me. It is entertaining to a certain degree, but for the people involved it's just a pain in the proverbial. So what are we dealing with here?

Wiki: "Workplace bullying, like childhood bullying, is the tendency of individuals or groups to use persistent aggressive or unreasonable behaviour against a co-worker or subordinate. Workplace bullying can include such tactics as verbal, nonverbal, psychological, physical abuse and humiliation. This type of aggression is particularly difficult because unlike the typical forms of school bullying, workplace bullies often operate within the established rules and policies of their organization and their society. Bullying in the workplace is in the majority of cases reported as having been perpetrated by management and takes a wide variety of forms:

• Unfair treatment
• Public humiliation
• Regular threats of dismissal
• Any form of undermining behaviour
• Credit for work attributed to others
• Denial of promotion or training opportunities
• Quick to criticism and slow praise
• Character assassination
• Malicious rumors
• Smear campaigns
• Social ostracism
• Physical assault"

These fun and games take place over time, and before you know it we are seriously wondering why we are working in this environment at all. What are we doing here again? 


So what can we do when we're niggled at?

1. Deflect the bully if you can. Remain calm, stand firm, and try to keep up a confident appearance. Keep a detailed record of every incident; you will need it as proof if you decide to make a complaint.

2. Check your job description. If you suddenly find yourself being set menial tasks, or are given an increased workload with shorter deadlines, and it isn't in your contract then you can do something about it.

3. Try to get witnesses to bullying incidents, and avoid situations where you are alone with the bully.

4. Get advice from your trade union, or from personnel and health and safety officers at work. Does your employer have a policy on harassment or against unacceptable behaviour?

5. Take a stress management course, and do some assertiveness training. They are good for your general health, and will help you in the future.

6. If you go ahead with a complaint, choose your words carefully. State the facts clearly, but don't get sucked into a slanging match - you could be accused of malicious behaviour.

7. Get emotional support from your family and friends, talk to them about how you are feeling. Ask your GP about counselling. Take sick leave if you need it.

8. If you decide to leave your job because of the bullying, let your company know exactly why you are resigning. It may help others in the future.

9. If you wish to pursue a legal claim against your employer, start by taking advice from your union. If you have a good case, they will take it up on your behalf.

10. Many forms of legal action that may be possible, including: industrial tribunals, civil claims for personal injury, and sometimes even criminal action.

(source tips: TheSite)

Sticking to the facts seem to be the go. I would also suggest to look at our own "contributions". There are always 2 sides to the story and it would not be credible if we didn't ponder what we might have added to the mix. Yes some people are just pricks, still, let's not rule out our own intriguing dispositions. That way, if we sit in that air-conditioned room with a member of the Union present, glaring over a stand-in-coffee, we know where we stand and where we're at. 

"The best defense is a good offence?" Just do your homework amigo.

sign of the times

It can be very useful to write your way through the core values and practical aspects of your business. Finnish textile company Marimekko 's core values deeply resonated with me. 

• ethics
• genuineness and honesty
• freedom of creativity, courage and responsibility
• enthusiasm, commitment and goal orientation
• positivity, aestheticism

(They also have a fine Vision, Objectives, and Strategy - read here) 

I was talking to a friend a while ago about how we cannot change the people around us, or who we work with for that matter. What we can most certainly do is take the initiative and follow what we think is best. For my friend this meant resigning from her work as she could no longer support the way her workplace was being run. My husband is having an ethical debate at his workplace, also on behalf of his colleagues. It seems to be 'a sign of the times' for many to make new and conscious choices. A boss is no longer able to simply tell his (qualified) workers to do what they're told. Nowadays managers and leaders have to set an example, which usually means improving how they act. Naturally this creates obvious dilemmas as bosses are human. They have to inspire their work force, if they don't they will lose them. As someone put it to me: how can they expect us to do what they want, if they don't want to do the hard yards themselves, do not respect us nor our opinions and change the rules to fit their needs? The fact is de-motivated staff is dangerous territory.

Work has changed much from the perception of just earning wages that pay the mortgage to supporting some sort of cause or vision. We also have to be able to respect our bosses, the companies that give us work and our leaders. We do have a choice, and many employers don't realize this. Why stay in a situation we can change nothing about? It's a dead end. Once growth stops, it's game over. 

So, ending on a positive note: that what we can change, add upon, give our dedication to, what inspires us and fuels our passion; that we will stay true to and work very hard for. So there is good news after all. Work shouldn't be 'just' work, preferably it should be great fun and a passion to boot. What is yours?

An inspiring story about an ethical way to run a business is Bholu, read about that on my friend Lucy's website The Design Files here. 

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Passion

The word passion is popping up a lot. I've been spotting it online on twitter, reading about it in Idealog (my favorite NZ mag) and in blog posts of various geeks.

At the moment I'm reading a book -bits of it at every opportunity- about motivation, career changes, drive, psychology and work satisfaction. The main question is: why do we do what we do? And muy importante: how to stop working! When you have passion then work is no longer 'work', as the drive has taken over the conventional 9-5 stamina attitude. It's about actually wanting to work as it becomes what you love to do.

Also great work is about getting back to the grind instead of living it up after one success (example: Coco Chanel). Read: dedication baby. The new generation seems not to like to work diligently -generally speaking- because they are used to immediate gratification. Everything HAS TO BE now. Why wait later to finally drive that flash car? Why not have money now? But I want to go overseas NOW?

Most of us envy the people who absolutely love what they do. They get up happy in the morning and bounce around exuding an aura of satisfaction. They inspire others by simply enjoying their life. They set an example, they raise the bar and they inspire. I guess the combination of possessing that good karma to know what you love, to dedicate yourself to your cause and to appreciate that which you already have unify the pleasure of work. (Also it pays to find out if you are a dreamer or a visionary here -article by fellow Businessblogger Charles)

Believe in what you do, share the joy and knowledge around and support others in their search and you will contribute more than you think. Be passionate! Find out what your zesty thrill buttons are - what really spins your wheels?