black sheep

Bullying is also called "harassment". Someone very close to me* has been targeted at his work. What he does about it is naturally his decision. I have been telling him to leave that workplace as it's infested with negativism. When people ask me about this company that's what I say, as it is my personal opinion. And I'll be happy to tell everyone far and wide. I'll them on twitter I tell them on Facebook I tell them in person.

It used to upset me a lot that a senior manager could mis use his power and along with other cronies start targeting staff just because he can, just because the staff actually give a damn and ask difficult questions. It's such a waste of time and energy this power play song and dance; it's unreal. Yet the good news is that we can choose again. We do not need to abide by rules just because 'we have done this that way for the past 100 years' and 'you just have to listen to me'. Come on this is 2011 already.

The truth is that of course there is probably more to the story and yes I have taken his story with grains of salt as one should do. I think the writing is on the wall though when all of his immediate colleagues are looking for other jobs, and one has left because of bullying already and another because he could no longer stand the depressing atmosphere. Mostly I find it sad, because without realizing it the senior manager has solely achieved this:
- adding more bad vibes to the company and sending the good people out the door first (they are the smartest and most talented and run quickly when they clue in.)
- less productivity and low morale, the least talented crew stays
- bad or worse results in production
- bad PR as news gets out so the company's image deteriorates slowly but steadily.
In effect: I see little benefits to the whole power play episode. Maybe a bully can help me out here to see reason.

And now for the good news:
People have a choice. He has learned a lot while working for this company both good and bad. I have to add that there are actually nice people there too. (One of them is Mary I love Mary.) Once he leaves he will be baffled and surprised he stuck with them for so long. Bullying kills respect and loyalty faster then a mouse can fart. The freedom to experience different working relationships will do this person good. He's already been approached to work for other companies so don't feel bad for him, we don't. It's very educational.

Instead of focusing on the bad let's focus on the good now;
you always have a choice in regards to what work environment you choose to be in. I'm not talking about the kind of job, but the vibe a place has, what is their behavior like? Do you feel happy there or most of the time? Are your colleagues supportive? Why do you come to work everyday? Do you understand your part in the equation?

Ideally we like to work in an environment that nurtures us. Why? Because that is human nature, to be part of a tribe, to belong, to work for something that is bigger then us. to believe in something good, to share a common goal and yes, to generate income. Research tells us that for most people the money is like a sideline, what we really want is to feel useful, to contribute and to be appreciated. 

Whatever it is you do, my vote is on doing it happily. The bottom line is: if you agree with it continue, if it makes you unhappy question your motives of being there. Oh and to the bullies: the game is up. We know why you do what you do and we choose another experience. Because we can.


*this person very close to me has asked me to withhold his identity until he resigns, and he has decided on a date to do so. I hope his 'chat' today goes well, in the sense that he will be able to stick by himself and not be tempted to sink to their level or be 'black-sheepie-fied'. Time will tell.

the workplace

Someone I know has been going through an interesting time at work. If I didn't know any better I'd say it was a sandpit wrestle more commonly carried out by toddlers. Why adults are able to display crazy attitudes in a professional environment and think this behavior is acceptable is beyond me. It is entertaining to a certain degree, but for the people involved it's just a pain in the proverbial. So what are we dealing with here?

Wiki: "Workplace bullying, like childhood bullying, is the tendency of individuals or groups to use persistent aggressive or unreasonable behaviour against a co-worker or subordinate. Workplace bullying can include such tactics as verbal, nonverbal, psychological, physical abuse and humiliation. This type of aggression is particularly difficult because unlike the typical forms of school bullying, workplace bullies often operate within the established rules and policies of their organization and their society. Bullying in the workplace is in the majority of cases reported as having been perpetrated by management and takes a wide variety of forms:

• Unfair treatment
• Public humiliation
• Regular threats of dismissal
• Any form of undermining behaviour
• Credit for work attributed to others
• Denial of promotion or training opportunities
• Quick to criticism and slow praise
• Character assassination
• Malicious rumors
• Smear campaigns
• Social ostracism
• Physical assault"

These fun and games take place over time, and before you know it we are seriously wondering why we are working in this environment at all. What are we doing here again? 


So what can we do when we're niggled at?

1. Deflect the bully if you can. Remain calm, stand firm, and try to keep up a confident appearance. Keep a detailed record of every incident; you will need it as proof if you decide to make a complaint.

2. Check your job description. If you suddenly find yourself being set menial tasks, or are given an increased workload with shorter deadlines, and it isn't in your contract then you can do something about it.

3. Try to get witnesses to bullying incidents, and avoid situations where you are alone with the bully.

4. Get advice from your trade union, or from personnel and health and safety officers at work. Does your employer have a policy on harassment or against unacceptable behaviour?

5. Take a stress management course, and do some assertiveness training. They are good for your general health, and will help you in the future.

6. If you go ahead with a complaint, choose your words carefully. State the facts clearly, but don't get sucked into a slanging match - you could be accused of malicious behaviour.

7. Get emotional support from your family and friends, talk to them about how you are feeling. Ask your GP about counselling. Take sick leave if you need it.

8. If you decide to leave your job because of the bullying, let your company know exactly why you are resigning. It may help others in the future.

9. If you wish to pursue a legal claim against your employer, start by taking advice from your union. If you have a good case, they will take it up on your behalf.

10. Many forms of legal action that may be possible, including: industrial tribunals, civil claims for personal injury, and sometimes even criminal action.

(source tips: TheSite)

Sticking to the facts seem to be the go. I would also suggest to look at our own "contributions". There are always 2 sides to the story and it would not be credible if we didn't ponder what we might have added to the mix. Yes some people are just pricks, still, let's not rule out our own intriguing dispositions. That way, if we sit in that air-conditioned room with a member of the Union present, glaring over a stand-in-coffee, we know where we stand and where we're at. 

"The best defense is a good offence?" Just do your homework amigo.

time management

Do you get all the things done you need to? It seems a continuing saga for me. I do get it all organised, some things planned and some things on the fly. Prioritizing is an ever lasting event, and some things are put on the back burner; driveway, new wood burner installation. But things are surely changing. It's habit changing and simple gritty determination.


Task-lists generally give me the jitters but the fact is if I don't remind myself to simply churn through them I have a huge pile when I don't need it. So they help save my tush that's what. Basically I try to keep track of the following both in my brain and my diary (my diary is most accurate):

1. What I promised to do for someone else: husband, friends, work, professional relations and also includes myself (socially based)
2. The simple weekly to do's: groceries, bill paying, car stuff, house stuff. This includes haircuts and other fluffing (maintenance)
3. The long haul plans: business, farm, personal goals (long term)
4. Legal and banking paperwork (in case any slipped past in 1,2,3)

Everyone has different ways to get here. My husband is incredibly apt in keeping track of the mundane and boring things. He has Sheldon Cooper tendencies regarding "logic". Unsurprisingly my brain seems to lose details of these items as I consider them boring (yes yes I know they are important). I guess that would make me quite like Penny. Still: a Penny on a mission because all those loose ends drive me nutty.

Getting back to some time management tips: (inspired by Steve Pavlina )

• focus + list: what do you need to get done right now? ask yourself
• flexibility: know your goals and be willing to make adjustments while en route
• quick turn around: finish tasks as soon as you can as it keeps your mind clear and allows more time to do other things; don't procrastinate
• decide: best to fire and steam ahead: too much time to think can kill progress
• get rid of time wasters. Use the trash can liberally. Stop watching tv.
• be effective: "also known as the Pareto Principle, the 80-20 rule states that 20% of a task's effort accounts for 80% of the value of that task."
• don't disturb sign: make sure you're not interrupted when doing a job 
• self discipline:  don't get sidetracked.
• multitasking: if you can do something else while having to do a maintenance or activity that you simply have to do; see if you can combine the two.
• enjoy: go after what really inspires you. Don't chase money. Chase your passion. If you aren't enthusiastic about your work, then you're wasting your life. 
• eat and exercise well

And another thing: use your diary and cellphone with reminders. Every time I stop using my diary and think I can remember things on the go: I can't. I finally came to the conclusion that an organized and focused approach actually saves me wasting time and therefore have more "me-time" later, something that is a luxury item to me. 
I am interested to know what your experiences are.