jumping jack

the difficulty is not

making evasive maneuvers when someone else is upset 

by rebuffing their airwaves of agony

but rather

to recognize it and trying to ease them by letting the vibes

move around you like a jumpy dog.

we don't have to immerse ourselves in someone's else's field of misery

to feel all its implications

in order to understand them better and what to do about it.

But it usually happens that way, regardless. 

Look the hurt person or dog in the eye. Listen. Talk a little bit.

Why would you not be there to make them feel better if they need it? 

And who's to say you have better luck with a frantic giraffe next time?

gentleness

There is much to be said about softness in this oftentimes world of harshness. The way I keep reading in the media about how there are battles to be won, companies to be bought and problems to be overcome. At night I wake up grinding my teeth and wondering why my face has that determined steely set feel to it. Relaxxx I tell myself.
Then the dog died. Glen aka Manny Moo was getting onto 15. His eyesight had long left him seeing fuzzy shapes and his hearing was a lot to be left desired. He could walk but with a wobble and at times he would get caught walking into a bit of sand and would keel over or flop down. Thus it was when I found myself writing a letter to him in the evening, a few hours after I had found him lying so still in his kennel.

Dear Mennie (Dutch for Manny)

On all acounts you appeared to be a normal dog..
You didn't have a dashing appearance, if anything you were pretty scruffy looking.
Yet we loved you straight away and you came with the farm we were buying. How cool!
You rounded up the neighbours sheep when they went on an escapade, because you knew what to do. Naturally we hadn't a clue being farmlet newbies and you understood that perfectly.

Over the years your favorite activity was to find sunlight and then bask in it on the lawn. You loved me brushing your coat. It made you feel like a guy with a tophat being so nicely groomed. And if you could have a rummage in the grass and roll around in it well nothing could beat that. I will always remember you smiling, and it was quite something to behold.

We looked after you and you learned to trust humans again, be it always a bit careful. If anyone put their arm up high you would duck down by instinct. We told you that you didn't have to. We gave you cuddles. I talked to you until even you had enough of it after a while. As time went on you knew the routine by heart of bikkie twice a day instead of once. You never understood what a ball was for though, so we decided to give it to the goats to muck around with. (Not that they did.)

Mennie you were very special to us. You were gentle and you were kind. I will miss you yet I know it was simply time, and I'm glad you died in your own home instead of on the vets table in a clinic. You deserved to live at home for as long as you wanted to. I hope you will like the tree we will pick out for you. Please see us from time to time, but if you don't then that's prefectly fine. An awesome place like heaven can be very distracting I'm sure!

Talk to you later Mennie. Take care and have fun!
Lots of love,
Mirjam (and Nico of course but he's less girly about these sort of things as you know.)

friends

So with your friends: do you look after them no matter what? Do you ward of foes? Do you always hold their hand? Do you tell them everything? What is the friendship protocol? Is it earth quake sensitive?


I guess for everyone it's different where they draw the line in what they are willing to do for their friends. And I'm not talking about the lady you always talk to at the counter of your local supermarket with her "Jenny" name tag and bubbly demeanor however lovely she may be.


Sometimes the best thing you can do for your friend is to let them work out what ever it is that is troubling them, because if you wouldn't give them space you would deprive them of the experience of self discovery. There are also times when you know you have to stick around, bring them soup, sit at their bed and tell silly stories of crazy tea-cosies or have a pillow fight instead.


So: how do you know what to do for a friend? I think you know when you listen to your feelings about it. They are your internal guidance system: it never fails you and it's always handy. Pay attention to what it says. If you feel you have to back off do so, if you feel you have to come to the rescue do so. If you feel you have to stay put do so. Not everyone may understand why you do what you do but that is beside the point as you know what you have to do. And as you are going by your best assessment on any given situation at any time, how could you possibly go wrong?
Here's another toast to instinct and intuition and doing the "right thing" for your friends.