Be

No idea.

I have really no idea.

Why there are more earthquakes

more angry confused people

more monetary problems

more governments collapsing

more people wanting their freedom

more people having enough of the old ways

All I know is that times are not changing

We are.

As we move with the new flow of life

the birthing of Gaia is the birthing of us

Enough of all that speaking

if you don't know why say anything?

Instead of watching try some doing

and if you don't "do" then at least be Peace.

Be quiet for the other

Be love for the other

Be there for another

Be you and peace and wisom will reign

In your hearts of heart

once again

bounce

We bounce

through life

Not always knowing

where we land

Does it matter?

Turning off the headspace

and opening the heart space

Shows us a new world of wonder

Usually the hardest combat

is not with a someone 'out there'

but dealing with the turmoil inside

that phases out when we focus again on love

The most uplifting times can be had

after we have fallen smack bang on our face

and in our despair realize

That there is always more then that.

Make peace with it.

Bounce.

photo copyrighted. pictured: chookBFF Greta and myself on the farm

Delwyn

There's nothing corny

and nothing callously old story
about breast cancer,

just a funny odd feeling on one side you said.

The cancer is now dying within you

as you are living beautifully with it.

Your vibrancy outshines the dark lump

that it once was.

Your new look is Sinead O'Connor

and people make misguided comments

turning bright red when you

tell them your straightforward truth.

Blessed are you and determined with heart.

Angels surround you,

whispering soft songs in your ear.

Carrying you in their love forever.

partnership

Last week a new animal joined our menagerie of fuzzie-family on the farm: a horse. I was as surprised as you to hear about it as it all happened very fast. In any case: here Silky arrived and my what a power house she is! A wise and beautifully proud thoroughbred, she got the gist of me quickly and is very kind to me. She absolutely adores my husband.

If you have never been around horses: they are literally a different breed. For starters they are herd animals and very very observant of humans. Uncanningly so. To say that I would be in future teaching the horse anything is a misguided statement: I will do no such thing. The horse teaches the horse, and the horse teaches me. "Soft handling makes for soft horses". (It doesn't mean I can go and act like a pussy, it means I have to lead by example. How I treat her is how she will treat me.)

How can you follow and trust another being if you don't "get" what they're like? There's nothing like getting focused and clearer about yourself then working with animals and in my case, with a horse. They will tell you. They will mirror your gnawing doubts or your silly behaviour and especially your ignorance. They will take charge when you don't simply because they test you and when you doubt yourself they will know and run with their fancies. They can be cheeky buggers when given the opportunity. It really depends on how steadfast you are to what degree the horse trusts you and will follow you.

Rest assured I will not go into girly fluffy Odes to the Horses, that was not my intention. I'm fascinated by the horse, that she after 16 years is still happy and full of energy despite being taken off a meat truck and having been moved from place to place as a rescue horse. Thoroughbreds are race horses and that's generally what they do. Silky has numbers tattooed on her but I haven't delved into her history as yet. I wish to get to know her as she is now, her past is not relevant as such.

Did you know that horses mostly learn by release of pressure? They don't learn from pain, that's when they just shut it out and ignore it. They respond mostly to subtle changes and naturally respond big time to big changes in their environment. I find this fascinating. It means when interacting with them, that it's vital to "think like a horse" which goes through anticipating, sensing and behaving like a herd animal, and to be more precise: a prey animal, as we humans are the incessant predator types. So I have to be aware of how my behaviour affects the horse and how she will feel about it. All the time. It's quite different then say cattle, horses are more articulate in their responding to us.

I'm deliberately taking my time with Silky. She is still getting used to our place, the noises (doesn't seem to fond of tractors) and gets a bit possesive if Rosie the jersey cow gets more attention then she does. Also what's interesting is who is the "top-mare" (me in this case) and how we stand in each others personal space.

Animals are very much like humans. They have desires, they want to have a clean warm bed, good food and assurance there will be love and cuddles in a place of safety. To me it's important we develop our trust rapport and that she gets used to us doing things together like walking, grooming, foot work, putting things on her back, before I even put a saddle near her. I also have bought a saddle measure device to make sure a saddle is right for her and that back problems won't be an issue. Horse problems often get blamed on the horse whereas they can be as simple of using the wrong gear that hurts them, or having been let down the bad habits path by people who didn't realize what they were teaching.

Partnership, not so much leadership, requires patience and understanding. It also I find is a matter of mostly self responsibility. As a Danish horse whisperer puts it: the horse will want to follow you if you not only do things right but "be" right. It's a co-creation dance. Be aware, and appreciative, and many things will naturally develop, and all will flow from there. So I've started from the assumption and resolve that I feel right within myself, and trust myself, so that she can trust me and that way we can rely on each other in this parnership. Mainly we want to have tons of fun! I know she wants to trot and run too, but all in good time. In building friendship with a horse, going slow makes sure things go smoothly and ultimately: better.

flow

sometimes I do not know what I will write

and I needn't worry

as words flow from me

like water from a stream

turning off my head

is opening up my heart

and right now it's filled with so much

compassion that I cry.

I sob because the ones we love leave us

be it only from the physical plane

as love is eternal and so are all beings

whether they are bugs, beast or humans.

So for the tears and the sorrow

It's mostly because I feel so much love

that I don't know what to do with:

so much energy wells up in me

Blessed are we who dare to love

Who dare to cry with the acceptance of that light

It takes courage to shine, to be who we are

Loving ourselves is something we tend to forget

Being able to receive the love

from others is opening that door for ourselves,

allowing the possibility of pain in as well as the love,

as really it's the endless joy we know it all really to be.

unity

Unification

is the start of embrace

the sharing of heart

the opening up of us, the seeing of all.

The battle has died

before they thought it begun

Because many made the changing decision

to live differently, as they feel differently now.

Our children

are born with more attributes

talents so bright, both in light as in being.

We will see those big changes as intent moves them.

We are not alone.

We are all indeed the same and also belong with others.

Unify our best intentions and our biggest dreams

and lo and behold! The new earth is showing itself already.

Understanding dawns along with a newfound desire.

Unity.

And through that the expression of love.

Photo by Janice Ward -copyrighted and reprinted here with permission.

the hum of love

Maybe we can move

both intentional and unintentional

by simply stating who we are

the definition itself radiating

that what we feel and embody

always telling all

Even without words 

enough can be shared

to build bridges,

mend bruises

fix problems

to sail the seven seas

When we start to remember

that we are more then

the sum of our parts

more then our body

more then our minds

more then the clubs we belong to

That the center of us is our hearts

and that of others too

then there is no need to explain

no need for science play

no room for debates

just the connection

the holding of hand

the caressing of hearts

the soothing of us

A tone of silence

a hum of love

a pulse of life

love spreading

like ever before

around and in us

a galaxy filled with

the booming vibration of all

Instead of thinking about it

Feel it inside of you

Look within and around

It is all the same

Have you noticed?

Can you hear it pulsing in your ears

drumming in your heart?

love

Seeking something is giving that something

First and foremost

If you find it too hard to open up

try appreciating it

and from a speck it'll become a seed in the wind

it will start growing and

Blowing a gale

and coming back to you

Unfolding 

Dancing

Being

In you.

gentleness

There is much to be said about softness in this oftentimes world of harshness. The way I keep reading in the media about how there are battles to be won, companies to be bought and problems to be overcome. At night I wake up grinding my teeth and wondering why my face has that determined steely set feel to it. Relaxxx I tell myself.
Then the dog died. Glen aka Manny Moo was getting onto 15. His eyesight had long left him seeing fuzzy shapes and his hearing was a lot to be left desired. He could walk but with a wobble and at times he would get caught walking into a bit of sand and would keel over or flop down. Thus it was when I found myself writing a letter to him in the evening, a few hours after I had found him lying so still in his kennel.

Dear Mennie (Dutch for Manny)

On all acounts you appeared to be a normal dog..
You didn't have a dashing appearance, if anything you were pretty scruffy looking.
Yet we loved you straight away and you came with the farm we were buying. How cool!
You rounded up the neighbours sheep when they went on an escapade, because you knew what to do. Naturally we hadn't a clue being farmlet newbies and you understood that perfectly.

Over the years your favorite activity was to find sunlight and then bask in it on the lawn. You loved me brushing your coat. It made you feel like a guy with a tophat being so nicely groomed. And if you could have a rummage in the grass and roll around in it well nothing could beat that. I will always remember you smiling, and it was quite something to behold.

We looked after you and you learned to trust humans again, be it always a bit careful. If anyone put their arm up high you would duck down by instinct. We told you that you didn't have to. We gave you cuddles. I talked to you until even you had enough of it after a while. As time went on you knew the routine by heart of bikkie twice a day instead of once. You never understood what a ball was for though, so we decided to give it to the goats to muck around with. (Not that they did.)

Mennie you were very special to us. You were gentle and you were kind. I will miss you yet I know it was simply time, and I'm glad you died in your own home instead of on the vets table in a clinic. You deserved to live at home for as long as you wanted to. I hope you will like the tree we will pick out for you. Please see us from time to time, but if you don't then that's prefectly fine. An awesome place like heaven can be very distracting I'm sure!

Talk to you later Mennie. Take care and have fun!
Lots of love,
Mirjam (and Nico of course but he's less girly about these sort of things as you know.)

the attention span

Today I'm having a day off. Like you I hit days at times when I think: I need to recharge my batteries and find a quiet place. I have noticed that my attention span, and my energy levels have increasinly become more sensitive and prone to the danger of overloading.

Just before, I decided to have a snooz. By the time I was in bed the siesta desire had passed and instead I found myself immersed in reading "The Thank You Economy" by Gary Vaynerchuk. This guy is so on the ball it's almost painful when you realize so many people are obviously not (no offense). So there's delight they might want to learn how to play too which is a positive outlook.

At times I find myself seeing relations in aspects between many dotted areas. It's when the "aha" kicks in, like having a view of a very large terrain where many activities are going on. What Gary talks about in the TYE and also what I keep finding in my personal and profesional life is that all boils down to Attention. In my case I lost attention for myself this week, I seemed to be predominantly focusing it elsewhere if not ''somewhere". This caused me to lose track on "where I was".

The Attention Span is very much a 'now' thing. Not only does everyone have a far shorter supply then ever before, I notice myself that things are changing at a rapid rate. The way we socialize changes, the way how we do things changes, what we value interestingly changes too (the economy and the earthquakes globally contributing to that); the way we communicate has changed and keeps on changing and generally: how and what we give Attention to changes. A lot.

The crux of the story is that all Attention matters and how we provide it. What I also recognized in Gary's wonderful trainride story is that it matters greatly how we act, how we conduct ourselves. It's very important to be transparant about who we are. Just yesterday an Oodlies interview was published with me discussing vaginas at length. All I can say is: the sometimes open ways how Joi (from Oodlies) and I interact involves this way of communicating, it's part of our lingo. It's what we're like together. We don't lie about who we are. I am various sides of a spectrum. To be anything but one way would be too limiting for me. I really like Gary's viewpoint on being genuine, how could there be a future where we're not?

To me Attention is not just the time we take to focus on anything, be it online or off, and to tell others about it, it's also very much the ethical side of it, the human side of it, the why and how side of it, that others relate to and understand. I think we will find faster and faster that we "get" what other people talk about and what they do. Even before they have finished speaking or ''doing''. We will increasingly find ourselves "smelling the rat" or "feeling the vibe" in ways we could not conceive of ever before. These are magical times.

The trick with Attention is that all Attention is really Love. Keep an open mind about this. Give attention freely and it will flow back to you. Draft all sorts of rules and it will bite you in the ass. (I wonder how Gary would feel about this.)

Above all: I think our Attention deserves more credit. We forget that Attention as it is, is our commodity. It falls and stands with our choices and our expressions. We will be known by others how we give our Attention and most of all: whether we actually care about others, as well as ourselves. It's when we forget, that we falter. I think that if many of us continue to forget that we are all part of a very large hive that we have the danger of losing our Attention for each other.

Luckily, from what I can see, most people are very much focused on the value of having genuine relationships and enjoying the freedom of movement that transparency provides. The way we do ''business'' will therefor change a lot too. I'm sure the last chapter about this has not been written. And I like that.

More about Gary's book and where to order it here

the weight

For Annie
(in Christchurch)

When the days darken

And you think life grows short
and all seems to hard too carry.

Just breathe.

In.

Out.

It's the simple things that count.

Let go of worry and fear as they are

the distracters.

Not the love that already was.

And the light that still shines in you.

Carry not other's burdens

As this way you darken yourself needlessly.

Because you are not alone and neither are they

and help is always there when you want it.
Even if they are un-well. 
Even when things lie broken at your feet.

Picture yourself in a good place

As well as your others.

You will build it all

when you can see it again.
And you can carry yourself - always.

Gently breathe.

In.

Out.

it's a kind of

Love.

The word is out: there is not just a few kinds of lovin' heck no there's HEAPS! Check it out here Extremely funny.

What happened to old fashioned "I just love ya babe" and that'd be that? No that is OLD school now. Yep. Get used to it. And there's so many varieties now to "name" the type of relationship. Just recently Lady Gaga has entered into a Spiritual Ceremony. The plot thickens.

source of link: fastcompany with thanks.

I love my mum

Do we REALLY need to only express our affection for her on Mother's day? I hope that not only this weekend you are remembering that you have a mum; the lovely woman who had morning sickness because of you for months, changed your diapers for years, held your hand and made sure you wore your mittens in winter and rubbed sun lotion over you in summer. That is what mums do, they look out for you. They keep loving you, even when you're a pain in the proverbial, do well or do badly and continue to be happy to see you. It's a miracle.


I love my mum. Not because she is just my mum, but because she always means so well. She is like a sunny chatty teddybear, warm hearted to the core. She is an original, like of course all loving and talented mums are. My mum Marion writes poetry, managed to start her own publishing firm and is extremely happy to meet other writers and quirky people in general. She travels the country to read from her work, talk about poetry work with others and has been in the media. She is a superb net worker. Mum's can truly be an inspiration and mine always is. And she loves flowers.


Mum you're the writer, I'm just the visual nut. Today I send you a wee drawing I did for you. You remember all the ones I did for you over the years, the ones you would stick on the fridge when I was a kid. It's definitely time for another one :) You're the best mum I could have. *mwah!!* Happy mothers-day for Sunday.

Amour

Many things in life are just fluff and stuff. Love is what makes the world go round. Really really. I thank a good friend of mine for sharing her story with me today, it inspired me to share the above movie with you. There's always hope, there is always love, especially when you least expect it.

the Christmas Cheer

It's Christmas time.... (well very very almost) A time of sharing, togetherness, reflection and joy. All of us have a different way of looking at Christmas and that makes the world interesting...


Find below some vids that I consider to be part of the Christmas feeling in some way: some frivolity, some seriousness, sharing the warm fuzzies around. Thank you for reading my posts and I wish you a fabulous New Year: that it may bring you all the best for the future.












Have a great holiday!

Competent men

Have you ever notice men jittering and becoming self conscious sometimes? I’m talking about when they’re caught off guard or get all funny when you praise their abilities. What’s with that? My own husband is often doubting himself and asking confirmation. For the life of me, I don’t understand it as he is an intelligent, gorgeous, talented man with the most integrity and honesty on the planet. I trust him implicitly. He can start his own business if he wants to but is not sure he could. Does it all boil down to the confidence thing?

I’m genuinely baffled with various lovely men not being able to say yeah! I’m fabulous and then doing a gorilla pounce on the chest. I mean of course you meet the usual full-of-himself-maniac. Some just have a demeanor that covers the fact they either feeling alone, have been hurt by an idiot sometime before or feel insecure because they lacked support in the past. But what’s wrong with receiving compliments? Is that a not done thing? Have I missed anything in Kiwiana training? Should I go back for a course in social kiwi antics?

Never the less: some wonderful men have trouble receiving appreciation and in a nutshell, love. Because that’s what attention and appreciation is, a form of love. They wonder what to do with it. They want it, but they fear receiving it and I just don’t get it. I’m happy handing out friendly words and hugs. Not only does it drive me nuts they are pussy footing but it also pains me. It’s like seeing a child craving a good score at school and then cowering in a corner when it’s been given a sticker and an ‘A’. Maybe the Kiwi culture, derived from the English, is more used to keeping a stiff upper lip then receiving straightforward encouragement and appreciation. I know, I must still be too Dutch…

Maybe I should phone immigration today and find out what integration courses they offer. Clearly I missed something.

Wedding anniversary

9/1/2008 - 9/1/2009

I see my Love
with new eyes, bless him.
I forgive myself as does he.
We carefully take of
the wrappings
of old and lovingly
rub on a new layer of cuddles.
Warm tender nights.
We gaze at the stars
discuss
possibilities for the future.
We laugh so hard we cry.

The loves and lives of a chook

(No I’m not referring to me. Let’s do that again another time.)

A chook house is a busy enterprise. The hens lay eggs; they get picked on, followed around and jumped on by roosters. They nest together as hens in arms do, chatting to each other. There are benefits: sitting in the sun, breakfast and dinner served every day, wonderful views and the dog stays outside. No rain to befall the chooks to muck up their perms. They are determined not to let you get their price once they’re brooding. My egg! My egg! Get your hands off you filthy human!

Do the hens know they are expected to lay eggs otherwise Nico is going to send them to chooky heaven? I don’t know. We had to kill 4 roosters last year and it was not a fun exercise. I was appointed neck wringer. They went all gaga after my attempts and Nico still had to chop their heads off. I had to hold their feet to keep their dignities and not let their body run off. Very sad and bloody affair. And then my brother in law asks me how we enjoy the romantic lifestyle on the farm…

The loves of the chooks are not to be envied. Their lives are. Generally the prospects are their own brothers. Not a good look. When Johnny the rooster comes to visit they run around in a state. Poor things do not know he’s their dad and he does stay outside of their run. We tend to strip the hens for their eggs except Suzie and Maya who are not related. This way we do not create chookies who are slightly deranged. So it’s a bit sad really this controlled love life. Rules and regulations. Enough to do you in. The frolicking is permitted on a strictly birth controlled system. I feel sorry for the hens. Complicated to explain things to them. Wouldn’t be surprised to see them marching up and down one day holding banners and demanding abortion rights.