perception

Yesterday I watched the movie "the girl with the dragon tattoo". It was quite a graphic movie in the sense that very unpleasant thing were happening to the main characters. The movie was excellent as the storyline was good and it showed how people can choose to behave in different circumstances. The more you understand the background stories the more things make sense. There are no black and white absolutes which is what I liked about it. I think "truth" and our versions of it are multi dimensional. Having an opinion about anything therefor can be a difficult thing to shape.

We usually do not know what stories people carry around and it's usually not necessary for us to know either. I am a strong believer in that you are able to influence what you attract in your life, no exception. Being responsible for your own life and dealing with any situation that comes along is a daily activity. So what about when people appear not being able to defend themselves?

It's a good question and not an easy one. Are there bastards in the world? Most people would say yes of course: this that and the other! Are there innocents in the world? Yes. Are there tons of grey areas? Millions. Why do some people "have it easy" and why do "some people always experience shit"? I don't know either. But I do know that creating hypes and a lot of noise about bad things will hardly make it any better. It makes more sense to do the best you can do and if you do find yourself in a situation that you can make a lot of a difference, do so.

Nico and I once ran into a troubled girl on a campsite. She had serious thoughts about killing herself and had tried something with a gasoven that didn't work out. She had had a difficult childhood and eventhough she didn't mention all the particulars we did get a fair idea of the horrendousness of it. She spoke about it in such a off hand manner that would turn the average person stone cold. We did what we could for her and suggested things that could help her practically and mentally. She was most grateful as she said that we were strangers there at the right time to listen. And to care. I think it made a difference in her life that she needed at the time to make a decision to move forward.

Ultimately it seems that this is the only thing we can do: to be conscious of what we choose at any given time. And whether we give a damn about others. Even when we don't know them.

Who have you met recently that you could have helped but didn't? Who did you help but only realized later that you did? And would you be willing to step up and do the hard yards or just say you would? Things are never easy and straight forward and yet sometimes. They are.

the hard yards

Often we may feel we are always doing the "hard yards". Working when others have stopped doing so, working the weekends, looking after children when we may not feel like it, visiting people when we'd rather collapse on the couch at home, listen to a client who's getting on our nerves, having to phone someone when we don't feel like it, take the trash out and do the dishes, and on and on.

So are those hard yards really worth it or are we really fooling ourselves thinking that making our own lives difficult will somehow help us towards becoming more joyous in our work and daily life? Since when has punishing ourselves with dedication to other causes then what we really want to do, aided us in feeling better about ourselves?

Yep. I don't know the magic number either. Having a farm-let did teach me this: whether you are happy or sad, tired like hell or happy: the animals always need tending to and always come first (if you have kids enter "kids" where I had put "animals" -same rule applies.) So yes by all means finish projects you know need doing, but allow "me time" to balance yourself out. You are as important as the people you promised you would do things for.

Instead of getting so worn out that you feel like being in a continual state of full blown PMS, consider the opposite:

fighting or battling against something will cost you more energy then if you accept that at the moment it is all simply as it is. (I have done this regarding my daily work and my that has made a huge amount of difference, I'm even quite restful about it. I can be Zen when others get in a tizzy.)

Then take your foot of the friggin' accelerator and park next to the road. Notice the wild flowers. See the hare dashing across the road in the distance. Sniff some hay-fever elements! In any event; stop pushing yourself like you have a work addiction. Seriously! Would it be the end of the world if a project would finish later? Would it matter that the house is still not painted before Christmas? Would it matter you will not have a flash dinner this Christmas day but instead settle for a "salad in 5 min option"? Does it really concern you that you are a bit late with some things you wanted to do this year? 

Once you step outside of that zone of "have to have to have to panic panic tired tired PMS feelings" you will notice something quite wondrous!

The sun comes up every morning. You actually see it this time. Everything simply pans out as it pans out. You will however have reclaimed your sanity. That my friends, is already a miracle this time of year. Now go find a friend or a lovely tree, and hug it. Voila! Instant happiness. Just... Chill... Out!! You have worked hard! Now have some fun too or simply allow some extra hours snoozing in bed.

Told you it could be done. You just have to allow yourself to try. And stop pushing.

"Battle less, love more" - Gabriel