the good work

I have great appreciation for a pasta dish. However, if I end up needing a bib to prevent my tagliatelli drooling all over me I might change my mind... I appreciate being able to eat in a decent fashion, being looked after in cafes or any time someone's happy to see me. That's just nice.

Do we stop and realize what we can be appreciative for on a daily basis? Probably not. We tend to forget as we're in a hurry or we focus on that which doesn't pan out as we anticipated.

Appreciation is an interesting word. It's sounds huffy snooty wooty but means 'liking something and being grateful for it'. It was enjoyable this week to see a lot of different wonderful people and get an idea of what they are working with, thinking of, struggling with or are dreaming about. I like listening to their stories and understanding why they do what they do and what they love doing in general.

People are so diverse and interesting. How come we may set goals and more often then not we find we can't quite reach them? Have trouble realizing our dreams or find when we are doing the work we wanted to do that it may not be what we anticipated? What happens when we had a perfect job only to be forced out of it and now having to adjust to new circumstances? How do we guard our 'me' time? (This is a biggie especialy for women who fret over husband, family, work, juggling it all.) Do we even have me time? Do we worry too much? Do we say 'thank you' enough? Are we considerate or thoughtful? Do we like ourselves? Do we feel valued by others? Are we taken seriously by others? Is it important that we are?

What's most important for each of us to happen in our lives that makes us smile and keeps us going?

I like to know how things are going in the worlds of those I know. If I can help them, with whatever it may be, I will. It comes down, again, to simply do what can be done to help out, improve their situation if that's what they're after, to refer work, or to email them something of use, to make them laugh, cheer them up or remind them about their potential. I don't know about you, but it makes sense to me. I'm not out to help others simply to climb up their brownie points ladder to score points. I do it because for me it's a very natural thing to do. I used to not even think about it, where I do more now (as I have learned not to throw my energy out the window or waste it where it's wanted not.) I don't understand how some people I've encountered in the world of business seem to be strategic fluffers, they seem to treat socializing like it's playing chess. I don't get it and I don't do it. Playing games only means something like getting out the Scrabble in my book.

Appreciation, whether its regarding our work, a person, activity or of our own state of mind is always a good thing. It contributes, shares and builds. It grows, it's positive and I like that. I'm very much a positive builder. I like people, mostly those who are genuine and have a sense of humor.

Right it's friday so I'm wrapping up. Go do some one on one appreciation this weekend and keep up 'the good work'. Thank you for reading -and hopefully enjoying- my humble wee blog.

the sexy Niche

Allure and temptation are one of the ingredients that spice up your life. Or can do at any rate. Today I bring you 2 companies who play into the 'playing'. I'm not talking sqeaky sextoys, but matters concerning interiors.

A company in the US sepcializes in 'shushing' and transforming pads for educated single men. The guys haven't a clue or do not particularly care how their place looks, but generally they DO like company at night... so what to do? How to fix the predicament? Get an interior designer in who specializes in creating sexy bachelor pads... the solution to fizzy and cuddly bliss. Their website reads: "Sexy bachelor pad is a full service design firm, working exclusively with male clientele in the nyc metropolitan area." (Brilliant idea.)

Talking about niches in kinkiness.... Jonathan Adler has been amusing the world with funky interior pieces (as photos above show). I enjoyed his mailing today and also the referring to his other range of vases if one is trying to find something more 'straight up'. Hila.

Have a bit of zest in your life. A bit of kinky goes a long way and you might as well have fun while you're at it.

Not done things

You know, there are subjects one doesn’t write about. You know which ones they are. Sometimes these subjects come into my head as they are after all, a fact of life. Life is in motion, a developing road of being. A state of revolving stories that washes up again and again on the great sandy beach of Human Experience. Anyway…


A while ago I came to a realization. That happens to me from time to time. This had to do with a man friend of mine. Turned out I’m not sure he still is one. This had made me sad as I like him very much. He’s funny, he’s smart and he’s easy to get on with. Things can get complicated between sexes. Do we really want those clear boundaries? It can be safe to have them, and it also can be so boring to have them. I haven’t decided which I prefer, probably the latter but a girl does have to be sensible nowadays. I know, I know, don’t start. Been there done that.


I have found with men that yes one can be friends, as they are really good ones, but if they’re attracted to you, or you to them, things can go pear shape very quickly. It’s such a pain in the bottom. No wonder a lot of women prefer gay friends because then you know where you are at. No dilemmas and great time hanging out in the pub discussing the wandering males, having something bubbly (mine are usually 1 or 2 bourbons or white wines) and kicking up a storm assessing the Appealing State of the Bottoms and what not. Anyway, those giggly days are over for me. I currently do not have a gay guy friend and I do not drink gin and tonics. Sigh. (I always liked to discuss the situ of rear ends though, compelling topic, and yes before you ask I actually did have a gay friend in artschool who I discussed behinds and other philosophical things with when we were having coffees.)


Men are great to talk to. They are to the point, they have usually a clear way of thinking and things do not get frilly. They’re usually not easily offended either. Wonderful stuff. I like men, they’re great human beings. (Give them a cuddle right now!)


So what to do when you stuff up with them? Like I said, I have done that with one. I did regret this for a while after the fact but then got over it. Now I feel like we are strangers passing at the train station. It’s just life I guess and it’s a bit of a shame. But there’s no point wallowing. So I move on.

Competent men

Have you ever notice men jittering and becoming self conscious sometimes? I’m talking about when they’re caught off guard or get all funny when you praise their abilities. What’s with that? My own husband is often doubting himself and asking confirmation. For the life of me, I don’t understand it as he is an intelligent, gorgeous, talented man with the most integrity and honesty on the planet. I trust him implicitly. He can start his own business if he wants to but is not sure he could. Does it all boil down to the confidence thing?

I’m genuinely baffled with various lovely men not being able to say yeah! I’m fabulous and then doing a gorilla pounce on the chest. I mean of course you meet the usual full-of-himself-maniac. Some just have a demeanor that covers the fact they either feeling alone, have been hurt by an idiot sometime before or feel insecure because they lacked support in the past. But what’s wrong with receiving compliments? Is that a not done thing? Have I missed anything in Kiwiana training? Should I go back for a course in social kiwi antics?

Never the less: some wonderful men have trouble receiving appreciation and in a nutshell, love. Because that’s what attention and appreciation is, a form of love. They wonder what to do with it. They want it, but they fear receiving it and I just don’t get it. I’m happy handing out friendly words and hugs. Not only does it drive me nuts they are pussy footing but it also pains me. It’s like seeing a child craving a good score at school and then cowering in a corner when it’s been given a sticker and an ‘A’. Maybe the Kiwi culture, derived from the English, is more used to keeping a stiff upper lip then receiving straightforward encouragement and appreciation. I know, I must still be too Dutch…

Maybe I should phone immigration today and find out what integration courses they offer. Clearly I missed something.