experiencing

Today I wanted to share not just my words but those of a friend who sent a message to me (letters somehow don't seem to be written as much in this new technological world we live in). Many of us are searching for... something. What do we want to do? I'm not just talking about a job, but in life.

We take out time or rush into it. We talk to others about it... endlessly. Or we don't say anything at all and keep it stirring and rattling away inside of us for many years. Some of us decide to go for it.

(photos taken by me of wild pigs Red and Twinkie at home on the farm.)

This is how my friend Remco put it to me today:

" When talking about ME, I mean I really, REALLY need to find out what makes ME happy. Not find out what I think or have been thinking I 'should' do, or what other people would want me to. But simply what makes me happy. Amsterdam e.g. is huge, and provides you with all possible and thinkable possibilities. So I should go there and prosper. Right? Wrong. Rem (saying to myself), you are no semi-Jesus, you stupid a**ewipe. You are just a guy. You need things. You want things to connect with you, not the other way around all the time. Amsterdam makes you numb. Makes you feel little. Realize that and realize that's just fine. Your home place is not there. You don't want the tram and the bike. You don't want the 179 neighborhoods. You don't wanna give it 5 years starting a completely new life and living. You wanna make your lonely mom see you more often than once every 2 months. You wanna cherish your 100 friends and 1000 acquaintances rather than throw 90% away to start all over.So live that life! Not a life you have sketched out. Just the life that you ARE."

The life that we are. I could't have put it better then he did (and his words are residing on this page with his permission). So many things would go so much better... if they were done from the heart. Wouldn't they? 

(Picture below is of my husband Nico holding a very much alive wild piglet called Twinkie short for TwinkleToes.)

More from Rem: "So, what I am doing, is finding ME. I have no idea about ME, when it comes to simple things.  NOT helping when trying to put down my desired career on a sheet. What helps is listening to my gut feeling. Or starting to learn to listen to my gut feelings actively. I might just go do any job to find myself pursuing a life more than pursuing the 'right career' (the one I 'should' find and pursue). 

I have already realized many things. About the friends and other peeps I don't wanna miss. Not because they are the most perfect, but because they're mine. They are MY friends, and I am theirs. Furthermore, I think I really like grey, blue'ish grey, and some shades of brown. I am willing to pick up litter from any street and should NOT feel being laughed at when I do. I DO have the right to be a pain in the ass once a week. It IS possible for someone to not like me.. I wanna live NOT in a big city and that is nothing to be embarrassed about. 

I can dream and have high morals and standards and left-wing utopian dreams... but it is okay to be human and normal in daily life. It is ok that I hate extremes, and love the middle, the reasonable, the social, the average.. And, it is okay to live the life you want to live. Even when others, from their capitalist and materialist views, express they feel sorry for me not getting all out of life. They are NOT talking about the same concept. At all. And that is ... OKAY. It might be me +wine speaking. Speaking, opening-up, not-organized-story-building, and doubtful-sentence-building anyway. But hey, I know you won't mind. Cause we're okay. We don't demand, we experience." 

I like it. How do you feel about your life at the moment?

Photos: taken by me and copyrighted: please do not copy for any reason.

karma

Whether you believe in Karma or not

Life has a way of shaping itself

As you see and feel it

in your mind

in your heart

Choosing now

to simply be

and accept all there is

releases the struggle within.

Nothing out there can hurt you

only the inability to understand the bigger picture

that makes you experience pain

and creates all struggle

Karma is a name for pattern in motion

It's just a label

Don't worry about its stories

Just feel what is right for you

and let go of that which no longer fits you

Simply be..

And feel you're way through it

You are your own guidance.

Trust that.

Trust your self.

That's all there is.

source karma idea: Eckhart Tolle

poem: Mirjam Spronk

photo: lookANDsee

Gaia what?

Most of us carry on with our regular lives every day with no or little thought to what surrounds us. No wonder Yoda has been telling us there's more going on then meets the eye. “Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you? Hmm? Hmm. And well you should not. For my ally is the Force, and a powerful ally it is. Life creates it, makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us and binds us. Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter. You must feel the Force around you; here, between you, me, the tree, the rock, everywhere, yes. Even between the land and the ship.”
I have started reading a book called ''Gaia, the human journey from Chaos to Cosmos" by Elisabet Sahtouris PhD and it's both intruiging as it is straightforward.

Usually I'm not overly a greenie in the hippie sense of the word. From being an artist etc to moving into business life and from then into farm life trust me humming Aumm and doing new age courses has not been on my agenda for many a year. My education therefor has come to me in the practical sense, also I suspect because I needed to be grounded more and less fluffy ducked. It worked! Kudos. I guess now it's time for me to absorb some additional knowledge in book form.

Before I started reading Gaia I was reading ''Eat Pray Love" for the sheer fun of it and that too encompassed life (and meditation) and the contemplation of the unseen energy field in which we live. I find it very interesting to read books that are written from various view points.

Life is becoming less and less about stuffing things we can comprehend in boxes with written labels but instead it is now overflowing with out of the boxy stuff, things hanging in mid air, things unseen, things wafting about tantilizing with hints at what more knowledge there may be. I think the whole jazz is best described as a jack in the box. This can be joyous or also topsy turvy, as we have seen with all the earthquakes.

Most of it cannot be grasped with the mind, it's as if we are increasingly being inserted with inner knowing through our other senses. It's a combo mac deal, with added crunchy salad and big fizzy drinks when you think you only had one coupon. And when it's in front of you: you're finding out that you're not so hungry for all that food stuff after all (I think that's why I decided to become vegetarian about 4 weeks ago). It's a funny thing this life. We get notions. We lose notions. We become notion-less and in that space of having lost direction we can pin point ourselves again. What fright and what freedom.

Now back to Gaia, I keep finding new books at the moment, not that they are new but they seem to bring me aspects of topics that increasingly get me excited. Gaia is not just the Earth, it's the sentient being that is Earth also. Many religions have mulled this Gaia stuff over. What is it all about dude? Indeed. Is it all yadda or is it "real". And what is the real deal anyway? How ''actual'' is the daily life?

I think we forget we live on a planet that LIVES. It's not just a chunk of rock in eternal sleep and we can just dig up all the gold, coal and pump all the oil out of it without as some point catching onto the idea that hey! Maybe we are digging into actual flesh here. Maybe this endless gratification for our own selfish needs has stopped making sense. Especially since we know that electrical cars and other propelling methods have been available which were discarded ideas by big oil companies as -get this- they would go out of business and they didn't like that (insert doh here). I mean when does this attitude end huh? Well with us of course. Simple as that. It all boils down to demand. So what if we changed the demand? We can you know. There is such a freebie as free will, I think it's a winner.

So I'm reading Gaia: it's more a statement of saying: you know we have done this crazy sick stuff on the earth for so long. Why are we taking not decades but a century or so to choose something else that is beneficial for all concerned? We use up energies where we can choose something more sensible and at the same time build and maintain the world that we are part of, quite literally I might add.

So if it makes so much sense to amend our ways, why not do it? I don't think most of us are lazy, we have just been sloppy in pointing things out and doing something about it. That tv has been a darn invention for keeping us on the snooz button. So come on, pull your head out and think of a way you can alter how you travel to work. And what work you do. And how you heat your house. And all that greenpeacy stuff while you're at it. Maybe have chickens and grow your own veggies. Put that solar jazz on your roof. Clean your house out. And if you say you can't afford it then join forces with other people and bring out that commune spirit in the name of good ol'd sharing that they still do in tribes in the Amazon and many other places on this planet. It hasn't gone out of style yet.

2012 is not the end of the world, but the way we are mozeying along it might as well be. We shape our world. Everyday. Gaia must be getting sick of us by now. I am too at times. Luckily there are many people and increasingly more so I see who wish to create better more wholesome ways to live. It's encouraging indeed. What are you willing to do?

black sheep

Bullying is also called "harassment". Someone very close to me* has been targeted at his work. What he does about it is naturally his decision. I have been telling him to leave that workplace as it's infested with negativism. When people ask me about this company that's what I say, as it is my personal opinion. And I'll be happy to tell everyone far and wide. I'll them on twitter I tell them on Facebook I tell them in person.

It used to upset me a lot that a senior manager could mis use his power and along with other cronies start targeting staff just because he can, just because the staff actually give a damn and ask difficult questions. It's such a waste of time and energy this power play song and dance; it's unreal. Yet the good news is that we can choose again. We do not need to abide by rules just because 'we have done this that way for the past 100 years' and 'you just have to listen to me'. Come on this is 2011 already.

The truth is that of course there is probably more to the story and yes I have taken his story with grains of salt as one should do. I think the writing is on the wall though when all of his immediate colleagues are looking for other jobs, and one has left because of bullying already and another because he could no longer stand the depressing atmosphere. Mostly I find it sad, because without realizing it the senior manager has solely achieved this:
- adding more bad vibes to the company and sending the good people out the door first (they are the smartest and most talented and run quickly when they clue in.)
- less productivity and low morale, the least talented crew stays
- bad or worse results in production
- bad PR as news gets out so the company's image deteriorates slowly but steadily.
In effect: I see little benefits to the whole power play episode. Maybe a bully can help me out here to see reason.

And now for the good news:
People have a choice. He has learned a lot while working for this company both good and bad. I have to add that there are actually nice people there too. (One of them is Mary I love Mary.) Once he leaves he will be baffled and surprised he stuck with them for so long. Bullying kills respect and loyalty faster then a mouse can fart. The freedom to experience different working relationships will do this person good. He's already been approached to work for other companies so don't feel bad for him, we don't. It's very educational.

Instead of focusing on the bad let's focus on the good now;
you always have a choice in regards to what work environment you choose to be in. I'm not talking about the kind of job, but the vibe a place has, what is their behavior like? Do you feel happy there or most of the time? Are your colleagues supportive? Why do you come to work everyday? Do you understand your part in the equation?

Ideally we like to work in an environment that nurtures us. Why? Because that is human nature, to be part of a tribe, to belong, to work for something that is bigger then us. to believe in something good, to share a common goal and yes, to generate income. Research tells us that for most people the money is like a sideline, what we really want is to feel useful, to contribute and to be appreciated. 

Whatever it is you do, my vote is on doing it happily. The bottom line is: if you agree with it continue, if it makes you unhappy question your motives of being there. Oh and to the bullies: the game is up. We know why you do what you do and we choose another experience. Because we can.


*this person very close to me has asked me to withhold his identity until he resigns, and he has decided on a date to do so. I hope his 'chat' today goes well, in the sense that he will be able to stick by himself and not be tempted to sink to their level or be 'black-sheepie-fied'. Time will tell.