treatment

I like writing about people, not about individuals in a gossipy manner, but how all of us are exploring this vast universe, our world, our private thoughts, our interactions with others. One of my goals is to offer information about these explorations to many people who are looking for it, to meet others and to share knowledge. I would be the first to say: hello you! I'm learning too!

If you would live by yourself all the time, like a hermit, what would you learn really? Don't we learn most when we are interacting with others? At times, the more friction, or upset, the more we can learn, although I wouldn't advocate starting arguments or wars in order to achieve that progress. I read somewhere that the people who challenge us the most, who touch us deeply or simply piss us off beyond belief, are our best teachers. I think this is very accurate.

Instead of perceiving other people as the ones who I'd never like to see again and stay far away from, I have found that it actually doesn't bother me anymore, quite literally too, if I do run into them on occasion it's all fine with me. This is a funny thing and surprisingly: offers great freedom. I can actually wish them well, even if I choose not to be friends with them anymore. I guess we can only be "free" from those, if we have learned to let go of the notion  that we somehow have to "be right" at the end of the conversation, or the silly idea that we always know best. I prefer to think of it as a wise and mature approach, and whenever I catch myself being stuck in an "ego" debate I try to look past whatever it is and "get over it" by realizing I'm being petty or that I don't know all the details.

Being right has never brought anyone anything, except ignorance and arrogance. Haven't we got better things to do? Aren't all of us here to do the same thing? To experience, to grow, and to have fun in a loving and preferably more or less safe environment? I like the idea of treating everyone I meet as if they were related to me in some fashion. This automatically meant I would treat them well, support them in whatever they do and help them if asked for. I will not ask them for anything, as I have all I need inside of me and everyone has got enough to do already. Still, many manage to surprise me with their love, friendship and honesty. To me, that is the most valuable thing of all.

the renegade bee

The other morning I got to the goats shed as I usually do, only to find a disconcerting display. The girl goaties had taken it upon themselves to have a debate on who had power over whom. Two girls were bleeding off their forehead, others were chasing one and sniffing it in various places showing battle streaks of red across their noses. I rescued Hermione (Mientje) from two attackers and popped her near the hay feeder while telling the 2 prowlers off. They just looked at me with a bewildered expression. How dare I interfere!

Which me brings me back again to rituals in groups. Goats have a very distinct way of organising their peers. It can be quite brutal to watch, they are not subtle about it. There is a lot of headbutting involved to determine who is the strongest or they go straight for the pouncing approach which is cornering, chomping ears and making the weirdest noises I have ever come accross. The first time I witnessed it I was totally dumbfounded as goats are by nature very social, happy and gentle creatures. So what was all this about?


I reckon humans have similar ways of keeping fellow humans in check. They do not chomp ears and necessarily draw blood, but they sure have methods to ensure the pack does what the alpha leader wants. It's called hierarchy. The question is whether you want to play the game.

There is the possibility of growing past a group's habits and politics. You would become an outsider among the rank of compliers. Your direction would be your own. Naturally this doesn't gel with the existing layout. Least of all it feels pleasant to you as "fitting in" is a tiring exercise. As long as you act like the workerbee the hive will not notice. Once you start acting differently and stop talking like they do, you are on your own. Hierarchy certainly has its purpose, for example in the army or in a cooperative. From a leader's point of view though a renegade workerbee is labelled to be unpredictable and dangerous. If it can be replaced and if you are said bee, watch your back. If you can't be missed and bring too many assets to the table: you have a brownie stockpile and may have more space to rock the boat.

What is the merit of letting fellow goats chomp your ears? If you feel you have to adapt in order to be accepted by your peers and have an easier life then having your ears clipped can be something you take in your stride willingly. However you can decide to seek other renegade bees and join a collective of happy individuals. In my case I'm in the position of having access to both. My ears are in one piece and I intend for them to stay that way. I think it's far more preferable to have a conversation opposed to blood on my head. 


How comfortable is your position?