he said, she said

She said:

There's no words anymore

He said:

It's all been said anyway

She said:

I don't feel respected anymore

He said:

You don't have respect for me

She said:

I wonder what else there is

He said:

I'm too tired to think about anything

She said:

I guess this is the end

He said:

You said it.

She said:

Why are we not really sad?

He said:

We have been over this so many times

She said:

I miss what I remember

He said:

I remember what I miss

She said:

Give me some space please

He said:

I'm fully spaced out.

She said:

So now what do we do?

He said:

I want the stereo

She said:

I'm staying here

He said:

That's fine I'm going away

She said:

So that's how we stop?

He said:

That's how we start again

She said:

I like to believe it will stop hurting

He said:

I hurt because I stopped believing

She said:

Let's not talk later then

He said:

Later has gone now too.

She said:

At least I'll have some peace

He said:

At least there will be some quiet.

She said:
...
He said:
...

seriously?

No. Often things are too serious already. We try too hard. Does that really help? Hm?


Generally we find we have to make light of a situation. Being stuck in the mud only teaches us to get very muddy boots (I literally experienced this yesterday when my husband and I were building enclosures for our two wild piglets). Better to have a laugh and move on.


I like to share this video today which I think teaches us to never complain again. There is no use for such a pass time although all of us have done this from time to time. How do you feel today?

karma

Whether you believe in Karma or not

Life has a way of shaping itself

As you see and feel it

in your mind

in your heart

Choosing now

to simply be

and accept all there is

releases the struggle within.

Nothing out there can hurt you

only the inability to understand the bigger picture

that makes you experience pain

and creates all struggle

Karma is a name for pattern in motion

It's just a label

Don't worry about its stories

Just feel what is right for you

and let go of that which no longer fits you

Simply be..

And feel you're way through it

You are your own guidance.

Trust that.

Trust your self.

That's all there is.

source karma idea: Eckhart Tolle

poem: Mirjam Spronk

photo: lookANDsee

trying too hard

Working hard can be useful. Working hard can be fun. Heck working hard can even be peaceful.

There is such a thing though as trying to hard:
Trying to hard to finish things when clearly time and energy are against you
Trying too hard to make it work with others when clearly it's not
Trying too hard when the marriage is over
Trying too hard to get people to like you when you're fine as you are
Trying too hard to make money when you're not enjoying the job
Trying too hard to juggle too many things
Trying too hard to make a point
Trying too hard to convince someone else. Why do you?
Trying too hard to get slim. Think healthy instead.
Trying too hard to keep all your promises.
Trying too hard to get "it all done".
Trying too hard to keep a clean house.
Trying too hard to ensure the kids grow up okay.
Trying too hard in bed.
Trying too hard to be funny.
Trying too hard to succeed. What is success anyway?
Trying too hard to "get ahead". What will you find once you have reached your goal?
Trying too hard to get time off.
Trying too hard to build your business. Live instead?
Trying too hard to fit in. Just do your own thing.
Trying too hard is... simply too hard!

So what is it with this hard business that we forget about the soft aspect? If you'd be too soft we would be in a very difference place right now. Yes it might look too pink and marshmellowy and society could slow down to a standstill... we could live in Barbapappa ville before we knew it. However it could be more pleasant. And we might notice what was actually already there.

So... are you trying too hard at the moment and need to mellow out or... did you get too soft to notice?

Gaia what?

Most of us carry on with our regular lives every day with no or little thought to what surrounds us. No wonder Yoda has been telling us there's more going on then meets the eye. “Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you? Hmm? Hmm. And well you should not. For my ally is the Force, and a powerful ally it is. Life creates it, makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us and binds us. Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter. You must feel the Force around you; here, between you, me, the tree, the rock, everywhere, yes. Even between the land and the ship.”
I have started reading a book called ''Gaia, the human journey from Chaos to Cosmos" by Elisabet Sahtouris PhD and it's both intruiging as it is straightforward.

Usually I'm not overly a greenie in the hippie sense of the word. From being an artist etc to moving into business life and from then into farm life trust me humming Aumm and doing new age courses has not been on my agenda for many a year. My education therefor has come to me in the practical sense, also I suspect because I needed to be grounded more and less fluffy ducked. It worked! Kudos. I guess now it's time for me to absorb some additional knowledge in book form.

Before I started reading Gaia I was reading ''Eat Pray Love" for the sheer fun of it and that too encompassed life (and meditation) and the contemplation of the unseen energy field in which we live. I find it very interesting to read books that are written from various view points.

Life is becoming less and less about stuffing things we can comprehend in boxes with written labels but instead it is now overflowing with out of the boxy stuff, things hanging in mid air, things unseen, things wafting about tantilizing with hints at what more knowledge there may be. I think the whole jazz is best described as a jack in the box. This can be joyous or also topsy turvy, as we have seen with all the earthquakes.

Most of it cannot be grasped with the mind, it's as if we are increasingly being inserted with inner knowing through our other senses. It's a combo mac deal, with added crunchy salad and big fizzy drinks when you think you only had one coupon. And when it's in front of you: you're finding out that you're not so hungry for all that food stuff after all (I think that's why I decided to become vegetarian about 4 weeks ago). It's a funny thing this life. We get notions. We lose notions. We become notion-less and in that space of having lost direction we can pin point ourselves again. What fright and what freedom.

Now back to Gaia, I keep finding new books at the moment, not that they are new but they seem to bring me aspects of topics that increasingly get me excited. Gaia is not just the Earth, it's the sentient being that is Earth also. Many religions have mulled this Gaia stuff over. What is it all about dude? Indeed. Is it all yadda or is it "real". And what is the real deal anyway? How ''actual'' is the daily life?

I think we forget we live on a planet that LIVES. It's not just a chunk of rock in eternal sleep and we can just dig up all the gold, coal and pump all the oil out of it without as some point catching onto the idea that hey! Maybe we are digging into actual flesh here. Maybe this endless gratification for our own selfish needs has stopped making sense. Especially since we know that electrical cars and other propelling methods have been available which were discarded ideas by big oil companies as -get this- they would go out of business and they didn't like that (insert doh here). I mean when does this attitude end huh? Well with us of course. Simple as that. It all boils down to demand. So what if we changed the demand? We can you know. There is such a freebie as free will, I think it's a winner.

So I'm reading Gaia: it's more a statement of saying: you know we have done this crazy sick stuff on the earth for so long. Why are we taking not decades but a century or so to choose something else that is beneficial for all concerned? We use up energies where we can choose something more sensible and at the same time build and maintain the world that we are part of, quite literally I might add.

So if it makes so much sense to amend our ways, why not do it? I don't think most of us are lazy, we have just been sloppy in pointing things out and doing something about it. That tv has been a darn invention for keeping us on the snooz button. So come on, pull your head out and think of a way you can alter how you travel to work. And what work you do. And how you heat your house. And all that greenpeacy stuff while you're at it. Maybe have chickens and grow your own veggies. Put that solar jazz on your roof. Clean your house out. And if you say you can't afford it then join forces with other people and bring out that commune spirit in the name of good ol'd sharing that they still do in tribes in the Amazon and many other places on this planet. It hasn't gone out of style yet.

2012 is not the end of the world, but the way we are mozeying along it might as well be. We shape our world. Everyday. Gaia must be getting sick of us by now. I am too at times. Luckily there are many people and increasingly more so I see who wish to create better more wholesome ways to live. It's encouraging indeed. What are you willing to do?

Japan

We do not need to see the images

To know what happened

and what it feels like.

We share the same flow

Whether we know this or not

and water runs deeply.

By waves and through light

Knowledge comes - not in facts

but by emotion, regardless of race.

Understanding follows

instills inside of us the realization

that we are in this together.

We share this life. 

With each other.

By choice.

from chaos

The last few days I have been working my bootie off on the farm. The surprising effect of working very hard physically was not just experiencing a pleasant tired feeling in the body, but also I enjoyed the fact that the mind quieted down and having the simplicity of solely being in the moment. It is quite astounding what a physical body can do. Nico and I labored on for long hours a day, relentless carrying wood and dragging tree branches, fence posts, wire, and lots of walking and walking through high grass. The animals lay snoozing in the grass, expressing contentment everywhere as the sun shone gently on them.


I was happy to read in the newspaper that many people in Christchurch are 'getting on with it'. There is a student volunteer army, the rescue teams are still relentlessly working away and everyone still living in the city are helping each other out. The stories that are emerging are inspiring and actually more and more cool to read. So, ironically the feelings of despair that were so contagious last week have now morphed into shouldering on and counting blessings. I also read this morning that 'from chaos many things can be born again' which can help us focus to create that which we want to see. Everyone in Christchurch do so well in working together and pitching in, helping others out it is truly something.


I think that it makes a lot of sense to remind ourselves sometimes that the way how we think has so much effect on how we live, more then we realize. Aligning ourselves with our highest intentions will create far more positive effect, then being stuck in feelings of despair. Perhaps what would be beneficial is to check our thinking: do we reason from a place of negativity and limitation or a place of possibilities and positivity? What do we choose to do?

peace

Interesting question:
how can we learn to be at peace, as we're always seeking to improve ourselves? We always have a goal further down the road. (See? Told you it's fascinating!)


I'm not talking about the contrast that is provided every day, the things we come across we like and do not like. I have been practicing observing myself more opposed to observing others. This has been a sensible activity. I'm not staring at my own navel (as they say in Holland) but simply it's been useful and educational to become aware of my old behavior and programmed responses in order to remind myself of where I'm intended to go, and continue to grow. This way I can slightly adjust my "acting" and "doing" along the way instead of battling myself to the ground. A much more friendly approach.


Mostly it's being aware about taking things in our stride and becoming aware that we create our own experiences. Yes lot of it has to do with our own attitude and that which we understand.  Friend Ivan Campuzano has written a beautiful post about "that which you give attention to". He even goes as far as saying that which we give attention to is Godly. And so it is. Another online friend, Michael Q Todd, wrote on his FB page this week saying: "My weight is dropping because I am at peace with myself and with food". Stunning isn't it? I thought that was quite a Godly sentiment too, a self appreciation statement.


So how can we give attention to inner peace?


Follow your feelings that inspire you and call you forward. Feeling happier and getting to being in that state of "being happy" longer and longer, there is a way of getting there:

• start with feeling appreciation.
• Instead of wanting, pushing, struggling to change anything outside of you... try to change your view and start centering yourself and realize that everything that currently is, is fine. Only when you make peace with someone or some thing will things lift.
• ah! which makes me realize that Michael hit it on the head as of course when we make peace with ourselves... we are not actively wanting to go anywhere we are absolutely pleased with ALL that is where we are here and now and it feels all is well and that time stands still. (Some call this meditating. It also works just sitting in a field or even on the toilet.)

Hm! Well that asks for more playing with new experience... ! Love it!

bridging the gap

Back from hols! Holy days. Hip hip!
Anyway...

The last few weeks have brought up much joy, some grief and the usual bust your balls or else. Nothing out of the ordinary in that sense. But! Some things were -again- very useful to come across and to discuss with others too. (I had immense fun as well finishing an art project with fellow collaborator Joi.)


In two areas I spotted the "bridging of the gaps":

1. between where we are now and that goal we envision in our brain
2. the communication gap that exists between what we can now understand and that place where we will grasp more eureka and ahas further down the track

These 2 have something in common and I'm not just talking the obvious gap here. The illuminated thought has crossed my curly brain that perhaps these things could either be:

• one and the same thing?
• 2 birds of a feather flock together or 
• door number 3: quantum mechanics

Take your pick.

What I find snazzy in this wee theory is that indeed we are unable to explain something for example that we have experienced in great exciting detail if the listener is not in the "frame of mind" where we currently exist to comprehend our endeavor. It's like explaining how to make Chinese to an Italian in Russian. Precisely. (Banging head against wall.)

So here is a recipe:

Don't tell someone more then what they can chew (or what they can follow). It's unlikely a stock broker has any understanding of the world of sewing and needles, and no skydiver has been expected to be thrilled to attend a seminar of manicurists. 

So! What makes great sense is if you wish to "upgrade" someone in the sharing of a story is to do this in steps. Every time you add to the story in a slightly more out of the box frame then before and see where you can get to. I have done this experiment and discovered I could take it to a certain point and then discovered the train station, which I knew was the boundary of where that person wished to go at that particular time. They were unable to follow me further afield. This is fine. We are all equipped to understand more in particular very "niche" areas. All of us have our own train stations with various platforms.

Or has some people have said:

"You can't hear what you are not ready to understand." Or in simple words: understanding goes as far as what knowledge and comprehension has been downloaded in your being. So, to return to the "bridging of the gap":

• if you wish to understand better, open your mind more (go multi dimensional).
• if you wish to judge less... accept grey as a primary intricate colour
• if you wish to grow greatly apply the 2 points above.

So here's to Live long and prosper!

treatment

I like writing about people, not about individuals in a gossipy manner, but how all of us are exploring this vast universe, our world, our private thoughts, our interactions with others. One of my goals is to offer information about these explorations to many people who are looking for it, to meet others and to share knowledge. I would be the first to say: hello you! I'm learning too!

If you would live by yourself all the time, like a hermit, what would you learn really? Don't we learn most when we are interacting with others? At times, the more friction, or upset, the more we can learn, although I wouldn't advocate starting arguments or wars in order to achieve that progress. I read somewhere that the people who challenge us the most, who touch us deeply or simply piss us off beyond belief, are our best teachers. I think this is very accurate.

Instead of perceiving other people as the ones who I'd never like to see again and stay far away from, I have found that it actually doesn't bother me anymore, quite literally too, if I do run into them on occasion it's all fine with me. This is a funny thing and surprisingly: offers great freedom. I can actually wish them well, even if I choose not to be friends with them anymore. I guess we can only be "free" from those, if we have learned to let go of the notion  that we somehow have to "be right" at the end of the conversation, or the silly idea that we always know best. I prefer to think of it as a wise and mature approach, and whenever I catch myself being stuck in an "ego" debate I try to look past whatever it is and "get over it" by realizing I'm being petty or that I don't know all the details.

Being right has never brought anyone anything, except ignorance and arrogance. Haven't we got better things to do? Aren't all of us here to do the same thing? To experience, to grow, and to have fun in a loving and preferably more or less safe environment? I like the idea of treating everyone I meet as if they were related to me in some fashion. This automatically meant I would treat them well, support them in whatever they do and help them if asked for. I will not ask them for anything, as I have all I need inside of me and everyone has got enough to do already. Still, many manage to surprise me with their love, friendship and honesty. To me, that is the most valuable thing of all.

attitude

I write a lot about attitude. I think I do because I find it so fascinating that people's psychological outlook reflects directly on how their lives develop. I have found great joy and benefit in seeing people that have the same upbeat attitude I generally have. Recently I have noticed how some people I started to see less off are complaining and that they get upset when things don't work out the way they want to. From my own experience I can say that if you force your hand, or make demands on other people, it's definitely not going to take off. It will crash and burn. Results: zero.

On the other hand: if you share something of value with someone, and you know they have an interest in it, things can pick up and develop almost by themselves. I find it's definitely more preferable to meet people who are on the same wavelength and who are actually keen to work hard and enjoy what they do. It's not about fluffy positive thinking, it's about awareness. Choosing who you associate with is more important then you realize, so choose carefully. I try and see people who like to peek outside of their world and comfort zone. They know things I don't, which is cool and I always learn from them. I'm an inherent giver and like to help others out when I hear they are looking for something or someone particular.

Putting the effort and the belief in what ever it is you enjoy doing most, it will always grow. Sharing it in such a fashion that your gift is received happily and respectfully, makes all the difference. There is a time and place for everything, sometimes you cut yourself by wanting something to happen too quickly, or it runs away with you as the process is actually quicker then you are. Is it all linked with your attitude? You betcha.

"Share you ideas and work with those who you respect and want to learn from, if people are stuck in a set way of thinking, choose to keep your thoughts to yourself."

light shown: Alex Earl of Melbourne, Australia

short and sweet

I was reading Seth Godin's blog on the effects of positive and negative thinking. Really it's what we do and how, that ends up being the result of what we think. On the one hand we like to wallow occasionally but eventually we realize that nothing comes of it. Our state of mind determines our happiness and our success levels.

The fact is that even though stuff happens (or not) it's not helping to continue to mope. A lovely weekend helps to change perspective. But a few minutes can achieve the same result once we know how to. Having a rest helps too. And being dosed with vitamin A by the sun. So too is the growing necessity to keep things short and sweet. People do not have the patience anymore to listen to long stories. No wonder twitter is 140 characters.

I needed to get the goats hooves done and also needed to inoculate and drench them last weekend. It's like a work out for me, as some are not keen on pedicures so I have to chase them in a pen a bit to hold them. Picture holding a wriggling goat with one arm and shortening 4 hooves at the same time. As we do not have a goat race yet we work with what we have. It's our forte. I don't mind it but try to do the work while keeping the intelligent animals happy. The trick is to do the work decisively and quickly.

Focus and get things off the list, say what you want and treat others well, take notice of your surroundings: yes I think that'll do nicely.

Picture by Daisy Janie

Transcending culture

Yesterday I was having an interesting conversation over coffees. There is much to be said for our cultural heritage as it's got rich stories and flavours which makes us identify with where we're from. I mean that in a fun way, not something that should limit us. I wondered out loud whether the European nations are better off as one big melting pot (economically obviously yes) where not only borders have ceased having any meaning. Is it a good thing or bad to lose our individual culture as a nation, in the way of stories and traditions that will be lost more and more, or are all of us on this planet quite happy with becoming one culture as eventually all our unique aspects will dissolve naturally? My coffee companion was pointing out that favoring such a thing as 'cultural heritage' can in fact get us stuck in a time warp and create more headaches and problems that are good for us as human beings. My feeling was that he was also referring to dictatorships and harsh ruling in the name of good ol' tradition. Excellent point.

More and more we find that the world is becoming a smaller place in the way of communication and perception. At the same time the need for making connections in Real-time in Real-life are still valued. There are Twitter evenings where people who live in the same area meet up, the same goes for Flickr, Facebook groups and other online congregations. The need for seeing each other face to face remains evident.

So what will our own identity become once it becomes quite meaningless where we are from? I can see for myself that Nico and I have stopped using Dutch traditions already, probably to the bafflement of our dear family. We feel it doesn't feel right to keep up things from our past when we live in a different culture in the present. Only a few things we really like will remain, which are more habits then anything else.

Most likely all of us will start using different points of reference once previous 'anchor' points have gone. It probably doesn't matter except what it does to us, what meaning we need for ourselves. As humans we do have the need to bounce off other people to recognize and evaluate where we are in the world of today. As everything becomes more of the same, what will stand out? Will globalization mean that we are all just Earth folk or will the desire come to the forefront to create smaller communities again as, let's face it: it's hard to really get to know everyone we meet globally. We do like to go back to our essentials as more and more people stop watching the news on television and spend time with their loved ones instead.

The more able we are to adapt and integrate those cultural values we like, the easier it is to move around and talk to others in order to get to know them. Will we really need any place to hold on to as our identity and stories reside in ourselves? It most likely will make us flexible and more open to change.

springtime

With spring officially starting next week I can see it's effect already. There are more and more people about, everyone in Dunedin is getting out of careful hibernation. I see more excitement in peoples faces and cheerful smiles. Lams and calfs jump through the paddocks. Our goatie girls are getting rounder and rounder and generally things are looking up. The weather has been increasingly pleasant.

I was reading an interesting article about design (here, through DesignDroplets). Should we be more critical about what we make? Where we set the bar, scutinize our level of competence? Interesting stuff. Mostly it's about the usefulness of Design and its merit in the world. Hm. I can see where the writer John Barratt is getting at. We can certainly muddle along and 'just do our thing' but to compare and understand our evolutionary growth you need a benchmarker to set it off to. The hilarious thing to me is that the purpose of Design is questioned and whether innovation is usefull? Oh oh. It's like saying to an overexcited toddler: no you can't run before you learn you can't run everywhere. See what I mean?

So too is the life of the wee lambs. They just get up and rush around. They might lose their mum in the process. Ofcourse monitoring and understanding is valuable. When do we know if design actually progresses in a span of a few years? Still, let the benchmark not become a governmental guideline to stop designers going forward as innovation depends hugely on the opinion and results of the one carying out the study. Design becomes excellent by thinking outside the box. It may be far harder to determine what the rules will be to judge design, then to just observe it's evolution.

Learning through Experience

Have you read the Secret and thought: presto, I’ll read the book, try and change the way I think and next I’ll:

• Be changed and all dandy: it's all attitude right?


• Win lotto!


• Find the perfect man/woman (you know they don’t exist right….. oh you still hope …ok )


• Retire and buy an exotic island and drink martinis


• Make millions with your own company


• Have the perfect figure and wear a bikini again


• Have a massive walk in wardrobe and lots of shoes. Finally.


• Learn many languages and travel and travel


• Live blissfully ever after.

But…. If you DO want to learn, how about listening to what the people around you think? (if they have the guts to tell you. They might and also say things which can surprise you.)

So here’s a fun exercise to learn how others view you: feedback
Select 3-5 people and ask them to send you a written reply and give them a promise you will not pummel them no matter what the outcome will be.

Questions to ask others who know you quite well:
1) If you look at my life up till now, what can I:
Be proud of? (Qualities, attributes, accomplishments)
Be happy or pleased about?
And why do you think that?

2) If you think about my future
What do you think would be good for me to experience in regards to:
Personal development,
Challenges to overcome and
Give time and attention to?
Why did you think that would be good for me?

3) Why do you think it could be hard for me to realize all the above?

So: do you really want to know what people think about you or rather not? Do you look in the mirror from time to time or does it freak you out? Do you want to know? Or happily not to? I think I'll try this exercise just for the sheer fun of it. There's always stuff to learn, whether it's about me or others as well. I don't know but I reckon it could be hilarious.

With many thanks to the Dutch magazine Flow and the website

www.debaak.nl If you need a coach (in Holland that is) go check them out.

Hunger for growth

Aren’t we funny. We strive, we work, we have this hunger for growth, for development, for excitement, for joy. The experience, amigo, is everything.

Right. Groovy. But. Why?
Well, if we don’t we get stuck, we get bored, we get unsettled, we get stunted, we forget why we do what we do, we wonder about our purpose, about our value, the getting out of bed thing could become very challenging. Better to have enjoyment and satisfaction, it’s more fun really. How hard do we work at it though?

The need for expansion can be questionable or a battle. For growth and expansion there has to be space to expand into, but also a NEED for it in the first place. This is where it gets interesting. Who decides there’s a need for ANYTHING? We do, other people do. The market does, the ‘out there’. The feedbackus magnificus. There has to be a thing called demand, if you want it to be fulfilling. So, the thing to do:

Research
Whack on the head to make sure there’s 200% motivation aka reality check
Plan-plan-plan again
Get results supporting the growth
Continue to build

Most of all the hunger for growth is about self experiencing and development. It’s in the fun, the learning, the whole 9 yards. Sometimes it can be wise to pull the plug on something we have done for a while and call it a day. That too, can be part of a growing experience, be it in a different way than expected. I guess the only thing that matters is:
Do you know what you want and why? That in itself can take years to work out.

My feeling is that it’s better to do something and explore a new subject then to sit on our hands and save ourselves from learning opportunities. They say it’s better to have loved and lost then to not have loved at all. I think the same applies to business or work choices. It’s better to have tried and learned, then not to have done a damn thing. Reading my own words again is amusing as I have written this post above many months ago. It is more apt today then it probably was earlier on. It can be challenging to work out what to do when. The timing is both crucial and natural. It's essential to work hard but also to be wise and decide to be patient to let things unfold. Ideally we should be looking back thinking: good thing it all happened the way it did because the whole process was perfect from start to finish. That way there are no regrets or red faces. Even creating duds from time to time can be helpful to explore our potential.

A toast to dashing attempts I say and here here to those that boldly continue on when the outcome is uncertain, but the vision is clear. Oh, and just do some homework, that sorta helps.

The village is back

Whether you realize it or not: the world has been toured, discovered, walked about, talked about and experienced. It’s been blogged, transformed into Art, put on YouTube, subscribed to and launched in the theaters. What’s the next trend now that we have “explored” this sphere? Is the western world getting bored already?

We might think we’ve gone global and internet has made it so, still we are humans and we are in need of contact, are affected by our surroundings and always want products. The reality is that the world is now a global village and it’s become small again because of that too. Everything can touch another. It’s becoming an art form now to escape this world of ‘reachness’ as we want to be contacted on the one hand, and to live in peace and quiet on the other. Some of us want to “get back to our roots”. So what’s the story?

You can live your life in a fashion you want to. There are so many possibilities of how to live your life, it’s almost scary to scrawl through the channels. I find it lovely not be connected to television anymore. I don’t miss it either. My family would like me to set up Skype and get a dish sorted on our roof. We appreciate it that they are keen to be in touch, and to have skype again would be nice, but at the same time Nico and I like our quiet weekends and our ‘disconnection’ to town/world. It’s the pros and cons of the modern life. This luxury problem of lifestyle choices nowadays is almost embarrassing.

It’s not that long ago that a baker in a village had to maintain the quality of his bread or he’d be in big trouble. His neighbors would spit him in the eye if he didn’t treat them well and his income and family would be affected. You can decide to buy your bread anywhere in this decade but you may choose to buy it from a family owned business because you like what they make and you trust them. Do you find that the temptation to buy online doesn’t beat meeting an interesting human being? I always got to the post office to pay my phone bill as I used to go there when I lived in Dunedin and now I still do even though it’s a bit out of the way. I go there because they are always great to deal with, I have gotten to know them and they recognize me which is a charming bonus.

Some things will always remain the same whichever way the world changes.
Humans have the need to:

• Have a roof over our heads
• Trade to get goods we need to feed, clothe etc.
• Live in a social environment and context.

Where and how we live in that sense doesn’t matter as we may have Wireless internet or not, the human need is the same, to have our daily needs met, to live with other humans, to reach out and connect, even if the world has become a different place. Looking at the essentials we are all the same. What IS the difference really between a native tribe and a modern one? Only technology and knowledge. Neither is superior, they are just different. There are only choice and options in life. In my humble opinion we have too much luxury. Many of us chase it to a cost that extends the dollar value.

You wonder how much comes down to human evolution, and how much to common sense, in deciding what we want our lives to look like. Let’s hope that modern science does not take away that which makes us human in the first place.

Things to do

We all have things to do. The difference lies between the wanting to do things and HAVING to do things. Susan Jeffers, bless her cotton socks, is very good at describing how you can change your perspective from HAVING to in WANTING to. Nico my dearest would just say: it’s a matter of mind set. Both are right.

The good news is that once you can change your mindset that your life will follow! Hurrah! But why do we forget this? Because we are creatures of habit, THAT’s why. Oh.
Back to the drawing board. I learned the following over time:

1) You’re on your own in your life, no one can help you sort your stuff but yourself.
2) That changing HOW you view situations makes you able to change your behavior.
3) Behavior can be consciously changed and altered for life, therefore your experiences will change, and therefor your life will.

Now that may sound fuzzy but that’s how it worked for me. When I’m tired or stressed old things may pop up out of the woodworks but I know what it’s about and how I can let go of the response, which is just a very old one. Someone found me cynical years ago when I told him: people only change when it's in their own interest to do so. I think that's not being harsh, it's just what I found to be true.

You will be pointed in the right direction to HELP you get out of the stuff you got yourself in. If you are choosing to persist in an unfortunate situation that’s usually there because you chose to stick being there in the first place, you can only point the finger at yourself. So it comes down to the old fashioned ‘being responsible for yourself’ thing. Oh darn! You have to work for it. Yes. It can usually just be a shift in consciousness where you choose to look at things differently and picture another vision in your head. That takes like 2 seconds. Amazing and heartening at the same time. Life can be sweet after all.

There are 2 best counselors in the world for you:
a) Yourself
b) Those who say things that upset you. The fact that they have upset you means it’s touched a nerve with you. If you didn’t have that feeling then why would it be an ‘issue’ anyway? It wouldn’t. So stop griping and just admit it. I know it's not always fun but there you go.

When all fails: go on holiday, get chocolate or blubber your eyes out with a friend. And! Try again. Yes, your life is up to you I’m afraid. No easy way out. No emailing to the mighty upstairs to relieve you of your suffering. No MacDonald’s drive through solutions. Darn darn. Oh well. You’ll live. Hey! Keep smiling while you’re at it. Practice that muscle or your face will look 100 years old. That’s right! There you are you charming creature you! Give yourself a high five and make a milo with marshmallows you wonderful softie.

Tall poppy syndrome

A mate of mine was criticized for taking initiative and doing something he thought would be good for ‘the greater good’ of a group. It was a relative small thing but I have heard this before. How come initiatives are often batted down? Why does your work get critiqued? Did you ask for censoring? What gives someone the right to do so? I have that happen to myself now and again and find it really stupid actually. I mean, if it’s a fair reasonable comment, ok. But the winging? Get over it already!

I know why I can get into tantrums for being refused to do something fun that I think is an awesome idea. It has to do with being the baby sister and having to compete with the big bros. (Literally as I have 2 big brothers.) Of course I got over the competitive thing as we’re all different anyway, but the urge to make the most of myself has always stayed. I have felt that my whole professional life I wanted to become a great success like them as my whole family has been an inspiration. The chances of me being a slob are remote as my genes are against me. With the whole family being driven bright talented individuals I’m not going to exactly sit down and start knitting. No offence.

Getting back to the Poppy.

Seriously it is a problem here: Wikipedia says the following:

"Tall Poppy Syndrome (TPS) is a

pejorative term used in Australia, Canada[citation needed], and New Zealand to describe what is seen as a leveling social attitude. Someone is said to be a target of tall poppy syndrome when his or her assumption of a higher economic, social, or political position is criticized as being presumptuous, attention seeking, or without merit. Alternatively, it is seen as a societal phenomenon in which people of genuine merit are criticized or resented because their talents or achievements elevate them above or distinguish them from their peers."

So there you go, a down under illness. Brilliant. Aaaahhhhhhh. Can I say a very down under thing? “Bloody stupid” There! That’s what I think of this. (Okay okay settle down already. I heard yesterday that meditation is JUST the thing) Fortunately the Australian prime minister was quoted responding in a similar manner: they want to do away with the poppy as a syndrome as well in Aboriginal County.

Exploring this further, how can one beat the Tall Poppy Syndrome?

This is what Kiwis say themselves:
"Tall poppies are people who stand out from the crowd. They aren't afraid to be different from everyone else and because of this often become incredibly successful. In New Zealand we have an annoying habit of feeling threatened by these people and to make ourselves feel better, we do whatever we can to cut them down to size.

We can be incredibly well-meaning about this – saying things like "they need to come back to earth", "their heads are getting too big", "It’s for their own good". Failing that, we just spread wild, untrue, unnecessary and unfair rumours about them. Tall Poppy Syndrome is alive and well all through New Zealand's society. You won’t have to look too far to see it in:
Sports, Arts, Schools, Workplaces, Politics and pretty much anywhere you find people!

Example of a Tall Poppy: Joanne K. Rowling's story
Unless you’ve been living in a cave you will have heard of Joanne Rowling and her books about Harry Potter. JK Rowling’s story is an incredible story of determination and persistence. Her mother died very young – at 45 and Joanne took this very hard. She moved to Portugal, where she met a journalist, married him and had a daughter. Sadly, one year later the marriage ended and she moved to Edinburgh to be nearer to family. As a single parent, she really struggled with very little money. She was unemployed, with a baby, living in a one bedroom flat. She got income support of the equivalent of $NZ150 per week, which meant that Joanne had to be extremely careful with her money – at times she would skimp on meals for herself.

She often wrote in cafés with her baby asleep in the pushchair – a cup of coffee was cheaper than heating her flat and they could both keep warm while she wrote. She wrote her first book on notepaper, and then had to go home to type the notes on a cheap old typewriter. She had to type multiple copies because she couldn’t afford to photocopy them. She struggled with depression on and off, but even managed to turn those episodes into positives by using them as inspiration for some of her characters. To make ends meet she started working as a French teacher and then managed to get a Scottish Arts Council grant giving her enough money to finish writing her first book.

Once she had finished the book she sent the first 3 chapters to an agent, who promptly sent them back (I bet he or she regrets that day!). After being rejected in her first attempt, she tried another agent who agreed to act for her. It took a year for her agent to find someone who would publish it. By the summer of 2000 she had earned over $USD400 Million for her first 3 Harry Potter books! Her book “Harry Potter and the Half Blooded Prince” sold 6.9 million copies in its first 24 hours! Her story is hugely inspirational, all the way down to overcoming the Tall Poppy Syndrome. She has had a 2-year court battle to defend the fact that the stories were not stolen and were her own.

While struggling, there was no way for JK Rowling to know that what she was writing would ever be a success – how many times do we hear about endless rejections of manuscripts, and how many books have never and will never be published. She battled poverty, depression and rejection and won. She had the dream, the determination and the self-belief to push through adversity and setbacks that would have stopped most people very early on. These are the people who feel threatened by her success.
What can we learn from her journey?”
Source above text:

www.onpurpose.co.nz/resources/tall-poppies.php

My mate concludes with: "Do what you feel in your heart to be right - for you'll be criticised anyway. You'll be damned if you do and damned if you don't." – Eleanor Roosevelt

I think it’s safe to say the following:

“Just do it” covers it nicely. Long live Nike and stubborn people! Lead by example and forgive the ignorant for they do not know any better. If we didn’t do what’s in our hearts and have fun, then by crikey WHAT exactly are we doing here at all? Why would we envy others for their achievements? I honestly NEVER got that. I celebrate others in growing, why would that EVER affect me badly? Such nonsense.

Bless anyone for kindling their own light and ‘sticking with it’. Next time you meet a tall poppy, give them a hug, do a high five or say Yeah! very loudly. if we are to be distinguished from other humans because we achieve our goals, let us celebrate this, instead being muffled in a corner where it's dusty and one has to sneeze. And besides, wouldn't you agree it's SO boring these nondecript corners? Why would it be nice to be stuck THERE?

Adding up 2008

At the end of the year we can eat or drink ourselves silly and assess the ‘year that’s been’. How was yours?

For me 2008 was a funny year. It was an extreme year that I refer to as The Rollercoaster. This of course is the experience of Life. At least it’s not been boring. Maybe I’ve been asking for too much entertainment…

I’m thankful for all that has happened as it brought tons of growth. I’m a big fan of growth as I’m allergic to standstills. They give me the heeby jeebies. As I’m celebrating New Years Eve by myself this year I’ve decided to have a party ‘chez moi’. I’m going to make punch, yes yes drink it too and have a great night. I don’t feel like going out or seeing friends but chill out in solitude. I actually like my own company which is a bonus. My dear husband literally got stuck in Palmerston North as his motorbike went on strike and refused to move an inch. A loose tube or some such which he’s trying to fix. He will be toasting bubbles amidst family tonight which is lovely for him. I've flown back to look after our animals.

So how do you add up a year? Well one looks at all sorts of different events and ponders the future. What can I change? How shall I do stuff different? I’ve got a feeling 2009 will be very steady on and balanced for me. Don’t ask me why I have that feeling, it’s a hunch and we'll see how accurate this one turns out to be. Peace, more loving atmospheres and expanding work in different areas. Yip that sounds good, I’ll toast to that! I'll go and visit my goats in the paddock later and give them some nice nibbles. No punch for them I'm afraid...

Have a great time everyone and an inspiring 2009! Go for what you believe in.