experiencing

Today I wanted to share not just my words but those of a friend who sent a message to me (letters somehow don't seem to be written as much in this new technological world we live in). Many of us are searching for... something. What do we want to do? I'm not just talking about a job, but in life.

We take out time or rush into it. We talk to others about it... endlessly. Or we don't say anything at all and keep it stirring and rattling away inside of us for many years. Some of us decide to go for it.

(photos taken by me of wild pigs Red and Twinkie at home on the farm.)

This is how my friend Remco put it to me today:

" When talking about ME, I mean I really, REALLY need to find out what makes ME happy. Not find out what I think or have been thinking I 'should' do, or what other people would want me to. But simply what makes me happy. Amsterdam e.g. is huge, and provides you with all possible and thinkable possibilities. So I should go there and prosper. Right? Wrong. Rem (saying to myself), you are no semi-Jesus, you stupid a**ewipe. You are just a guy. You need things. You want things to connect with you, not the other way around all the time. Amsterdam makes you numb. Makes you feel little. Realize that and realize that's just fine. Your home place is not there. You don't want the tram and the bike. You don't want the 179 neighborhoods. You don't wanna give it 5 years starting a completely new life and living. You wanna make your lonely mom see you more often than once every 2 months. You wanna cherish your 100 friends and 1000 acquaintances rather than throw 90% away to start all over.So live that life! Not a life you have sketched out. Just the life that you ARE."

The life that we are. I could't have put it better then he did (and his words are residing on this page with his permission). So many things would go so much better... if they were done from the heart. Wouldn't they? 

(Picture below is of my husband Nico holding a very much alive wild piglet called Twinkie short for TwinkleToes.)

More from Rem: "So, what I am doing, is finding ME. I have no idea about ME, when it comes to simple things.  NOT helping when trying to put down my desired career on a sheet. What helps is listening to my gut feeling. Or starting to learn to listen to my gut feelings actively. I might just go do any job to find myself pursuing a life more than pursuing the 'right career' (the one I 'should' find and pursue). 

I have already realized many things. About the friends and other peeps I don't wanna miss. Not because they are the most perfect, but because they're mine. They are MY friends, and I am theirs. Furthermore, I think I really like grey, blue'ish grey, and some shades of brown. I am willing to pick up litter from any street and should NOT feel being laughed at when I do. I DO have the right to be a pain in the ass once a week. It IS possible for someone to not like me.. I wanna live NOT in a big city and that is nothing to be embarrassed about. 

I can dream and have high morals and standards and left-wing utopian dreams... but it is okay to be human and normal in daily life. It is ok that I hate extremes, and love the middle, the reasonable, the social, the average.. And, it is okay to live the life you want to live. Even when others, from their capitalist and materialist views, express they feel sorry for me not getting all out of life. They are NOT talking about the same concept. At all. And that is ... OKAY. It might be me +wine speaking. Speaking, opening-up, not-organized-story-building, and doubtful-sentence-building anyway. But hey, I know you won't mind. Cause we're okay. We don't demand, we experience." 

I like it. How do you feel about your life at the moment?

Photos: taken by me and copyrighted: please do not copy for any reason.

trust

So why do we have the tendency to take an expert's words over our own? How come we relate to something thruthful being expressed when it is not said by an expert? In short: why on earth would we have the tendency to take another's word over our own?

This morning I read both a statement saying: 'trust your own inner guidance system' and saw a youtube video of a 8 year old girl with a delightful opinion on how things are being done in Egypt. Many people related to both posts.

It appears we may find ourselves increasingly so in a time where we learn to trust our own wisdom more and more. Only those who are unsure venture out to get confirmation on that which they really already know to be true. (That or if you would find yourself in a position of being lost or clue less.) So how do we get clued in? How do we find that answer we are looking for? Google it?

Self empowerment start at the front door. It starts with the dawning realisation that all has changed, gone to custard or need re-alignment. People only change when they see the need to. Once through the door of realisation we come to the newfound understanding that indeed we are in the ''in between'' stage. We scramble, we muck around, we play, whatever fashion feels right to guide our akward feeling journey towards a new discovery. And then all of a sudden; there it is! An apple lands on our head or something equivalent happens. We know instantly what it is we need to do. No one can deviate us from this because it's one of those big ahas.

And when this happens to us, oh boy, miraculous things happen! We get new work out of the blue, we meet the right people to take us further, we simply focus more on something that inspires us and drives us on, we simply as they say "just go for it".

So who is the best expert about what you should do on any given time? There you are!

expectations

Most of us carry images in our mind of how the world should be. When reality and those inner images don't overlap or struggle to come to a meet, we generally experience strong emotions as  a result. In the past I observed the bumps and bruises expectations can create when they are not met in my own family. It's not so much painful to me to see this when I am involved, but more so when I'm not as it makes me sad.

What I find funny is my occasional 'bumps' and 'hiccups'. Just when I think I'm on a road of being at peace with things and feeling energetic something might throw me off balance unexpectedly. Then I'm thinking ok what have I done NOW? Sometimes I can laugh about it, other times I call myself an idiot. Usually it's about something I failed to recognize, like say discovering an old habit that I have been ignoring or seeing that my attitude needs re-aligning in an area.

Making small steps and changing the images of our desired life in our minds to a fairly upbeat realistic scenario is more preferable. Self acceptance can be trying if we keep battling parts of who we are: demanding of ourselves to be this or that no matter what. The thing is too that it's not other people's job to live up to your expectations to ease your life, it's your job to live up to yours. And preferably: you will be nice to yourself in the process.

Try and appreciate others even if they don't conform to your expressed or unexpressed wishes. Wouldn't it be a lot nicer if we set each other free? It would surely take the pressure off. And we would be far more fun to be around each other.

So really: trying to accommodate other people's expectations is very hard work, but your own can be such a struggle too. And it doesn't need to be. It takes a lot of willpower to stay true to ourselves and to let others do things their way. Trust that other people are experts at running their own lives, making their own choices, even if you don't see the wisdom of it. You may not be holding all the cards. Let them go.

And have a laugh. I know I am for being such a muppet! (That post was almost too serious for my own good. Time to move on. Have a fab weekend!)