trust

So why do we have the tendency to take an expert's words over our own? How come we relate to something thruthful being expressed when it is not said by an expert? In short: why on earth would we have the tendency to take another's word over our own?

This morning I read both a statement saying: 'trust your own inner guidance system' and saw a youtube video of a 8 year old girl with a delightful opinion on how things are being done in Egypt. Many people related to both posts.

It appears we may find ourselves increasingly so in a time where we learn to trust our own wisdom more and more. Only those who are unsure venture out to get confirmation on that which they really already know to be true. (That or if you would find yourself in a position of being lost or clue less.) So how do we get clued in? How do we find that answer we are looking for? Google it?

Self empowerment start at the front door. It starts with the dawning realisation that all has changed, gone to custard or need re-alignment. People only change when they see the need to. Once through the door of realisation we come to the newfound understanding that indeed we are in the ''in between'' stage. We scramble, we muck around, we play, whatever fashion feels right to guide our akward feeling journey towards a new discovery. And then all of a sudden; there it is! An apple lands on our head or something equivalent happens. We know instantly what it is we need to do. No one can deviate us from this because it's one of those big ahas.

And when this happens to us, oh boy, miraculous things happen! We get new work out of the blue, we meet the right people to take us further, we simply focus more on something that inspires us and drives us on, we simply as they say "just go for it".

So who is the best expert about what you should do on any given time? There you are!

interpretation

Why is it that the Art world and the people who work in it professionally have such a need to explain all its aspects or make clever possible and assumed explanations of why a particular Art work is created? What is Art about? To me all sorts of talks about Art are fascinating only because we hear the story the speech giver is relating to us, which says more about them personally then the actual Art work. It gives us insight into the person, but does it give information about the Art work? 


A fascinating example of that is this story here about the work "woman with sticks' by Ron Mueck, see the video by clicking on this. (Amazing works by the way.)


I don't know why but these sorts of speeches have always bothered me. Not me personally, but in the sense that apparently there is a need to lift Art, for it to be taken seriously, to a level of explain-away-literacy. To me many Art folk have the habit to say "let's create this complicated story so dumb people "get" what this Art work is about". I find this behavior quite baffling. In Art-school, myself and my fellow students could quite happily create Art at a fast pace or having to take much time, usually via association and through ideas that popped in our heads. Yes we did many drawings and sketches and so on and sometimes we were simply on a roll. Only later would we come up with a clever story to explain why we used old pots and pans to create a sculpture for example. This was a necessary requirement to be able to concoct the most fabulous of theories that our professors would understand. Never mind we were on student pennies and the local second hand shop carried the funny pots which fit the bill too. I think Art critics should carefully consider an artist's life and his or her surroundings instead of filling in the blanks with their own witty interpretations, but that is just me.


To me Art works simply tell the story of a creator and what the creator thinks about, what they value and what they love. It is all inevitably inter connected. Art is visual story telling pure and simple. Of course it can be most fascinating to understand intricate aspects we otherwise would miss, but that can be fine if we so choose. Art for me will always be interpreted through our feelings, not our analytical mind to "understand". Then some say, but it is good to "educate". Is it? Perhaps it is to learn to make up your own mind eventually.


If we want to know more about any Art we can go talk to the artist. They made it and only they can tell you their story and answer the questions. Sure some stories will be complicated, and some will be simple. But isn't that just the beauty and the richness of life itself? Is Art not as diverse as we people are?


So why make it so fluffing difficult to explain Art? I still don't get it. That's alright, it doesn't worry me but I do find it amusing.

because there are goats...

Want to travel and eat good food? Have you heard of WWoofing? It has been suggested to us to become Wwoofing hosts once the farm is fully "goatified". Why WWooff? Well "because there are goats" that's what... of course! Waha. Great vids.







We have heard mixed messages about the WWoofing experience when we came to New Zealand, and Nico and I decided not to go there but pick apples instead, where we learned many things, mostly which was unexpected. And yes the memories are quite extraordinary, and give inspiration too for the future. But hey, it's also hard work being on a farm and mostly it's doing simple things, including manure scooping. Good thing goat poop is so clean really, bless them.

replay button

A friend of mine says certain events in our life may be repeated until we ‘get’ it. I’m sure you know as well as me, that it is in fact interesting how things can seem to have hit the replay button now and again. There may be a year of so in between, or even months. Oh dang! It’s THAT again. Bugger. Now what to do:

1. Ignore the situation altogether
2. Mull it over too much (analyze it until it creeps you out)
3. Gain some insights and recognize it for what it is

Naturally it’s nice when we get door number 3. It helps to see what the situation is for and how to change the way we behave and think, in order to ‘get it’ and evolve. It doesn’t mean you have to change yourself as such by force, more about integrating what you understand and choosing something different from now on. By being you and understanding why you react the way you do or why certain things seems to happen -just with a different person in a different setting- helps.

Life is not Monopoly. Still it makes sense to not hit our head repeatedly. One step at a time and surely we will get there. We think. Oh jeepers, now there is something else again! Why oh why? Well would you want a pre ordered menu then? Nah. Too boring.

When you start enjoying the experience, you love living life. It’s not about avoiding the cracks or the pitfalls but learning to spot them before hand and go oh goodie! Found another one, yay! I know this one!! (Bouncing up and down now.) Also it pays in general to just focus on what does work well and not worry too much (gives you headaches and aspirines are not to be used like lollies).

So there you go: there’s no shame in making a mistake, having to learn something again, or to repeat an experience. I’m in favor of nice ones though. It’s sure amazing how that Law of Attraction kicks ass.

Learning through Experience

Have you read the Secret and thought: presto, I’ll read the book, try and change the way I think and next I’ll:

• Be changed and all dandy: it's all attitude right?


• Win lotto!


• Find the perfect man/woman (you know they don’t exist right….. oh you still hope …ok )


• Retire and buy an exotic island and drink martinis


• Make millions with your own company


• Have the perfect figure and wear a bikini again


• Have a massive walk in wardrobe and lots of shoes. Finally.


• Learn many languages and travel and travel


• Live blissfully ever after.

But…. If you DO want to learn, how about listening to what the people around you think? (if they have the guts to tell you. They might and also say things which can surprise you.)

So here’s a fun exercise to learn how others view you: feedback
Select 3-5 people and ask them to send you a written reply and give them a promise you will not pummel them no matter what the outcome will be.

Questions to ask others who know you quite well:
1) If you look at my life up till now, what can I:
Be proud of? (Qualities, attributes, accomplishments)
Be happy or pleased about?
And why do you think that?

2) If you think about my future
What do you think would be good for me to experience in regards to:
Personal development,
Challenges to overcome and
Give time and attention to?
Why did you think that would be good for me?

3) Why do you think it could be hard for me to realize all the above?

So: do you really want to know what people think about you or rather not? Do you look in the mirror from time to time or does it freak you out? Do you want to know? Or happily not to? I think I'll try this exercise just for the sheer fun of it. There's always stuff to learn, whether it's about me or others as well. I don't know but I reckon it could be hilarious.

With many thanks to the Dutch magazine Flow and the website

www.debaak.nl If you need a coach (in Holland that is) go check them out.

Getting un-bored

Ever have that moment of boredom where you’ve been down the same path too often? A solution: do something that makes you happy and which makes you feel you’re contributing to the world.

It could be, to:
1. Write a blog
2. Volunteer
3. Help a friend
4. Look after a pet
5. Change the status quo
6. Make a decision instead of procrastinating
7. Build a snowman
8. Go on a trip
9. Clean and tidy up: organized inside and out
10. Exercise (feel good and act good)

Now yesterday, I made a snowman with Nico. My husband and I were unable to travel safely down the road to work as we were inundated with over 120mm of snow. We built a snowman instead.
Today we did make it to work through snow and slush. I’m doing number 6 and 9 today. I did number 10 earlier this morning when I fed the highland cattle, the goats and the dog. Right now I’m finishing number 1. Next weekend I’m going to do number 8 and coming weekend I’m hoping to carry out number 5.

Point being: it makes more sense to me to work with what I’m given opposed to being frustrated by what I have come across. It has been quite a few things which detracts from my normally sunny me. No, I don't think it's the fact it's winter over here. Aside the points above I ask myself the question which always helps, but which I forget to ask myself all too often:

What if this is all ok?

(I refer to Susan Jeffers’ website as she’s very good with this sort of thing.)

Get un-stuck. Get going before you get un-glued, un-clued or catch the glummy glumness. Have some coffee or hot chocolate with it while you develop new ways.

Assumptions

The dangers of making assumptions is not just that we are, in fact, misinformed, but that we make up a story in our heads that is just plain inaccurate. We fill in the blanks where we should ask for more information. I have been known to do this and I know others who have done the same. It’s a human aspect that can get us in heaps and bounds, troubles and many exclamation marks.

Someone I haven’t met yet in person assumed she could pick something up from me on a Saturday. As a matter of fact I was working so I couldn’t have obliged. She didn’t wait for my answer but decided to head out to get what she wanted anyway. Therefore she made an assumption which didn’t help her. This of course can happen to the best of us. We usually call it a miscommunication.

We can get disappointed, in a panic, a state, a silly situation or in a fiery spirit just because we decided not to check with the other person whether our expectations could be met. Wars must have been fought and people died just because assumptions were made. It’s a funny world out there, but most of all inside ourselves.

What can we do to battle the assumption disease to avoid misunderstandings?
We confess and ASK. We CHECK. We get (as they say in StartTrek) a confirmative. Anything so we know we are on the same page with the other person and that we are in agreement. Does it matter why we assume in the first place? Maybe because we are: lazy to check, feel we know better, are complacent, good in procrastinating or in a hurry. It’s one of the ‘common’ things. The creeping into the scenario bits that we end up regretting later.

Wikipedia says:
"A judgment is something that is knowable, that is, an object of knowledge. It is evident if one in fact knows it. Thus "it is raining" is a judgment, which is evident for the one who knows that it is actually raining; in this case one may readily find evidence for the judgment by looking outside the window or stepping out of the house. In mathematical logic however, evidence is often not as directly observable, but rather deduced from more basic evident judgments. The process of deduction is what constitutes a proof; in other words, a judgment is evident if one has a proof for it."

Right.
So in other words: as long as you do not have evidence to support your thoughts: take the trouble of checking your theory. It makes for an easier life, no need to book a life coach or see a psychiatrist. No dr Freud chaise longue to drape yourself over. No boohoos in the night, no medicine on the bedside cabinet. No apologies to make to someone else. No confession time, no dramas.
Brilliant. Would we do it though? Hmm. Life will tell Holmes...

Self doubt

We are in the habit of doubting ourselves. I thought I was running short of blogs..Running short?! How can that be with 35 blogs still to be published….. Even if I didn’t write for 6 weeks (!) I’d be dandy. Well that’s the benefit of working in advance I tell you. I was surprised that I had that many!
Getting back to the self doubt thing: Sometimes we can talk ourselves in to something or OUT of something. We sell ourselves short, we imagine things will happen that don’t etc and so on and so forth. Does this have to do with confidence? I think it has more to do with a reality check. Dreaming of achieving our goals is one thing, but we all like to anticipate in some form that we’ll actually make it.

I went through 5 website designs with Quality Living before I actually felt I achieved the result I was after. I took me a year and a half. Half of me was embarrassed it took so plippin long and the other half said, well c’est la vie. I work fulltime so can’t realistically expect my idea to fly and take off in a few months. I went through periods of frustration, teeth grinding, anger and doubt. When I finally made a resolution I’d no longer worry about the outcome but start with a clean slate it finally came together. Sometimes when you decide let go of the outcome the whole situation resolves. Magic stuff.

So when in doubt:
What’s the worst that could happen? Is it REALLY that bad/sad? No? Then dust yourself off and get on with it. Trust your own instinct and stop listening to others. It’s YOUR life. You know what to do. Trust that. What are you waiting for then? Go go go. And have a latte, and a muffin while you’re at it. Excellent.

The positive aspects of light addictions

Mine are:

• Hugs
• Chocolate (especially mousse)
• Shoes (you know: heels!)
• Goats (witty and happy)
• My husband (genuine, honest and wise)
• Singing in the car
• Writing blogs
• Hanging out with positive friends (Cara, Susan, Steve, Bill to name a few)
• Pasta… of course!
• Dancing (whatever style)
• Me-time in the weekend (otherwise I go gaga)
  
  Note: by no means am I advocating pursuing dangerous inflictions on your digestive system or otherwise by becoming a negative addict. An addiction that is harmful to yourself can never be a good thing.
  

Recognizing positive addiction

How can you tell whether a favorite activity such as playing golf or working jigsaw puzzles has grown beyond leisure activity into a positive addiction? According to Dr. William Glasser, author of Positive Addiction, the activity gives you such happiness and confidence that you:

· spend about an hour most days engaging in it
· feel discomfort such as anxiety, sluggishness, irritability, etc. when deprived of it

Interesting. Now I haven’t read this book but yes I have to add an addiction to the above list as I forgot about it, can’t believe it.

The following I have found while doing a google

Differentiating positive and negative addiction

In Coping with Addiction, psychologist A. Tom Horvath defines positive addiction as one in which the benefits outweigh the price. Exercise might not always feel easy or comfortable and playing the guitar can cost you in equipment and callused fingertips, but those risks aren’t as weighty as the perks of good health, improved mood, coping with stress, etc. Horvath applauds positive addictions as healthy substitutes for those struggling with negative addictions such as smoking, alcoholism, gambling, etc.
Since Horvath asserts that addictions are considered negative when the price outweighs the benefit, applying this formula to your own habits helps you know if a positive addiction is no longer positive for you. Your habit that seems harmless might not be if it impacts negatively on your health, relationships or work.

Think about whether some of the following conditions apply to you:

· you find it impossible to take a break from the activity, even for illness, a family crisis, etc.
· you continue the activity against your doctor’s orders and jeopardize your health
· you’ve started to exclude other pleasures from your life (such as time with loved ones, other hobbies)
· the activity is all you think and talk about
· loved ones express concern about your behavior
· you are concerned about your behavior
· the activity dominates your life

Here are a few scenarios that might help illustrate when a positive addiction has turned negative:
· continuing to run after your doctor warns that your knee needs a break from high impact
· refusing a break from exercise, golf, gardening, etc. when you have a fever, flu or other illness that requires rest
· being unable to stop knitting or sculpting even when you develop painful carpal tunnel syndrome
· increasing the time you spend on the Internet to the point that your family feels neglected
· not being able to agree with your loved ones on vacation plans for fear that you won’t have access to your activity for 1 week

Resuming balance

If your passion is beginning to feel more like a prison, you’ll agree that it’s time to strive for balance. Sometimes you just can’t recognize how out of balance your life has become because of a habit until your loved ones complain about it. Ask those closest to you if they feel neglected or in any way concerned about an activity you consider a positive addiction. If you suspect that your good habit has gone bad, you can try the following:

· Moderate the activity—reduce the number of hours each week that you engage in it.
· Explore other interests that might meet the same need without threatening your health—replace running with biking or swimming; knitting with a craft that doesn’t bother your wrists; Web surfing with reading, puzzles, etc.
· Seek the help of a mental health professional if you fear your behavior is out of your control.

(Source info:

www.achievesolutions.net/achievesolutions/en/covacare/Content.do?contentId=9705)

Well there you go! Monitor your chocolate intake…. And your work addiction. But that’s a story for another day. While I’m writing this I have decided I will go home and sing all the way home to my heart’s content. It won’t bother anyone as Nico’s taken our own car with me working late. Oh solo mio…… la la la la

What do I know?

Agreed I know some things. I know other people know things. We all do, but they are different things. This is when it starts to get fascinating.

The funny thing is that one person can’t assess the quantity of what another person knows. Why? Because you can’t look in their brains and you do not have access to their private password to subject their inners to investigation and do some prying. Which is a good thing. Each person’s private thoughts and experiences are their own.

It’s good to realize that you do NOT know everything too. If you did there would be no room for exploration. Why would you want to do anything as after all, you already know everything. It sounds so mundane to me. Would God be bored to bits? She’s probably having so many laughs up there.

I think that one of my charming qualities is the fact I confess openly about not knowing everything. There. That’s the secret. Confess, get the word out and there’s no need to impress, convince or hide inabilities. Not that it would matter anyway, because HOW you do something and WHY is really only important to you isn’t it? If I get pressured or forced by other people into learning something because they think I should for one reason or another I can get annoyed. I can dig my heels in. It’s not the best of traits. If I see the valid point in learning something I’m very happy to get going. I’m self motivated but it has to make sense to me in order to do it.

Some things I do know about (ask me about crop circles, I used to be an expert on the things, back in the days before it became a hype) and I know nothing at all about piloting planes or how to make a roast (Nico’s department which cracks up the neighbors).

So getting to the Knowing; is that about information in your brain or about how you do things? Is it the experience or the theory that creates The Know. Personally I vote for experience. I mean you can read about the technicalities of driving a racecar but it wouldn’t give you a clue about what the experience can be like and how you keep the car on the track does it? The Knowing is in the Doing. It’s literally Know-How.

What I’m learning at the moment is learning how to swim Freestyle (in Dutch: borst crawl). Apparently this type of swimming is taught to kids at school in New Zealand. In the Netherlands this isn’t the case for the basics. When I was a child there were the levels, A, B, and C. You guessed it: I managed to get the basic A and that was it. There were horrifying teachers and I hated every moment of it. If I enjoy anything I will do well. When I don’t enjoy something I do average and either improve it or accept this. Most people work that way I’m sure, picture screaming kids who are dragged to piano lessons and so on and so forth. I don’t like accepting average though. I get a bit funny that way.

Yes I can do an absolute brilliant job thank God. When I’m motivated and have a bit of a knack for it. With the swimming I start to feel I actually belong in that water instead of being thrown in and making the best of it. The lifeguard was very friendly explaining the sideways breathing. Once I stop taking in as much water as I do air it will be more fun. For now, I’m learning and gaining experience. And sticking with it because it’s becoming fun instead of a struggle.

In order to improve Knowledge and Experience one has to be motivated. It’s easier to learn if the subject interests you. Have you thought about why it’s easier for you to learn tai chi then it is to play chess? It may be a shame to not get past the barrier and give up before hand. Decide whether the goal is worth wrestling through the ‘hard stages’ for. If all fails then at least you know you’ve tried and you can make it into a good story