Monday, March 15, 2010


Are you part of a group? Family group, friends group, sports group, networking group, ethnic group, spiritual/church group, hobby group and there are many more you are likely to be part of.

Naturally as we progress through life we seem to become part of one group and detached from another, being involved in various degrees with all of them. This is an ongoing thing.

I have made contributions over the years to get groups or individual people motivated and at times put enormous energy into trying to increase the energy and its effect. I learned that I can't make a horse drink water just because I think that's the next best course of action, nor that I am right because I think I am at the time. I've come to the conclusion that as groups have common threads running through them it is also sensible to realize when to withdraw when the groups rules or attitudes change. Game over can in effect open up other possibilities and work better rather than to stay put. This can make me appear changeable, but as I'm exploring and trying new things, which is the best way for me to learn and live, I will not worry about other's opinions regarding my behavior.

Seth Godin's blogpost supports that instinct to trust our own antenna, not someone else's, and also to dare to make a stand for yourself. So really there is only a group, a tribe, when there is a sense of 'we', a clear sense of direction and common ground. When that changes, expect the group to dissolve over time. Make peace with the fact that all continues to change anyway, that people come and go, that groups change, because if you don't, you will have a very hard time dealing with getting disconnected. This is my humble opinion anyway. The trick however, is to stay connected and true to yourself.

We humans love to be attached, to be part of a group, to belong, to know where we are going. Ultimately that is because all of us want to be loved and appreciated and we are hurting when we're not. But if we can't have a loving appreciative relationship with ourselves, how can we expect to have that in a group?

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