Saturday, December 8, 2012

the silence

words being said
that might as well have been unspoken
in the air, waiting and halted

erased by being obsolete
the story matters
more then the grammar.

I have chosen to wait
it can be more useful
to not say anything
but let the thought sit quietly

then softly
there's a breath of word released
a sound of being expressed
the tender unfolding of speech.

the sentences become
flowing in song
fluffy as goat hair
loving in caress once more.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

the turkeys

In the light
the male turkeys dance
they prance and jest, they fluff and huff loudly
until one has had enough and turns round, dashing off
to some food that looks interesting
or to monitor a chook that is scurrying for worms

the lady turkeys
are busy too, two are nesting,
one other is young and restless
and one is recovering from a ferret wound
yet all reside in the green, looking happy
being together

in the here and now
where food is abundant and company plentiful
peace reigns
and the male turkeys gobble
looking up at the sun
shaking their feathers
poking up their fluffy bums to the sky

Monday, October 29, 2012


Did you feel it?
That I love you.
Now and always.
My heart is your heart.

Our hearts are connected to the
Global Heart that is beating.
Hurting. Crying. Celebrating. Growing. Expanding.
A heart can do many things.
It beats evermore. It remembers.
We are all humans and are more the same then we are different.

The heart is strong
The heart is wise.
It will tell tales from truth
It will follow it's own strength
of you.
Of me.
Of all hearts. In time to come.

Friday, September 7, 2012

the two brothers

the two brothers walked
the two brothers talked.
there was silence.
worry spread over their faces.

one spoke the other listened.
more silence.
they changed positions so the other spoke
and the first one listened.

heads put together.
the sharing of nods and mood.
assessment of the situation
that was very grave indeed.

a conclusion was reached.
a proposal forged.
the moods lightened.
smiles came out as lunch was served.

Thursday, September 6, 2012

blessed be

(for Margreet)

departure time
is timeless, although the death is timely
and soulprints are left on this earth
stored as memories below

walking her story on her ground
it had reached the final paragraph
and today, the epitaph.
I remember.

I recall the days I stayed
at your farmhouse for a number of days
and we spoke most..
in silence. The days I see as sunny.

You came to visit me today
and you looked well and are so happy.
Now that you are reunited with your love
and can walk your dog in peace once more.

And we weep not for those
who leave their bodies and continue
on the greatest marvel of a path
that stretches out in all directions. All at once.

Blessed be, lady of the woods.
I may see you again, another time.

Thursday, August 30, 2012

the sword

the sword of Damocles hangs over you
yet you do not know it's tale.
What peril will befall you?
Prevail again you shall regardless.

beyond the sound of strife,
of old opulence and decay lies
the shining horizon of freedom,
thus hunger not to retain material gain.

splendid is she who can release the bonds
of angst and need. As required they are not.
He can speak the mind but needs to hold
the heart close. With your kin embraced.

fear not as you shall be 'fine',
as they say in this new world of being.
Walk the earth and be free to sing
your new song. And reborn in kind you shall be.

Saturday, August 25, 2012

heart in my hand

It's okay
You don't have to do anything
Not say anything
Just be yourself with me.

I am tidying up
old remnants from my past
Seeing glimpses of what might be ahead
carrying my heart in my hands.

Many are afraid of pain
of the emotions raw and deep
cutting and piercing the skin.
I feel them inside as old friends visiting.

It's good to remember,
as I have done before: that all things pass.
The experience is always released,
old heartache transformed to joy once more

I depend on myself for support
I hold my own heart in my hands
I feel love is given to me
and am strong. Every day.

Monday, August 20, 2012


You talk
yet there is nothing left to say
Only things I have heard before
Like a washing machine left on the same setting.

I feel horrible for feeling it
but notice I haven't missed you. At all.
And it makes me sad for what once was.
But only for a moment.

I rather rejoice in what is, then what is in the past.
Everything has it's own time. This time is mine.
I wish you well and am now saying goodbye.
Feeling blessed with everything given to me.

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

grey mass

the grey mass
is not so grey after all
colour abounds there where neurons talk
spinning in a vast space of being

why consider it random
when it's hardly that. You do have vision,
direction, aim and fire in you,
in your head and in your heart.

the grey matter and the red matter (nerd speak)
ignite thoughts again, connecting stories
into being
so was the thought first, or you?

(image by Hugh Macleod -

Monday, July 2, 2012


Once the mojo is lost we are no better then zombies. Last Friday my mojo came back to me, they were drawing themselves bless them. They keep talking to me. It's a funny thing.
It's very simple: inhale goats. Poop love. Voila.
(This is the real life Nerada by the way..)
anyway... more to come:
Relish the mojo, canoodle it with all your might. Then let it wonder the world.

Note: all drawings by me and only transmittable in public with prior written agreement. Thank you.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012


(for Reatha)

I drown out my own trembling voice
My child listens
she hears my cries
in the night. In the day.

And when the minutes slowly roll
by, the view turns a different shade
I can't see.
I can't feel.

Any warmth seems to have left me.
My heart has gone out.
Like the fire in the living room.
I poke around in the grey dead embers.

Where my vision once held me.
Comfort is now something of the past.
I close the curtains.
And think of my mother. And the blanket I hold dear.

How do we do it?
How do we cope with times like these?
Darkness creaks. My child is silent.
She brings me a drawing.

I look at a big yellow sun.
A cow. and a dog.
The pig roams the field happily.
There is a horizon. And us.

I put that drawing in my heart.
I make a new fire for us all.
Don't preach to me today.
Just keep me safe. Keep me warm.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012


whatever drive and focus there is
another energy will push against it
yet duality is dissolving
and more people are
accessing the clouds.

sometimes we wonder why to
defend anything
or why to yield to someone or something stronger then us
especially when we feel it's wrong
and we seriously don't want to. Not anymore.

in Chicago strangers were
holding hands in the street
marching together and singing, of all ages.
Police officers were ordered
to restrain their views and their hands with force

yet the fiercer the commotion,
it forces the issue and more things to escalate,
those burned with pepper spray or hit with batons
are to be seen on social media their stories racing
through the Cloud untouched, spurring the sleeping to think.

a story only has meaning in the light
of what meaning you assign to it.
 Your perception becomes the version of events
and what action you take or do not undertake as a result,
it will reflect your true self to the world at large.

about the Chicago ProtesT; here and here 
after the NATO summit news: read here
photo by: Getty Images/Spencer Platt, source: CBSnews

Monday, May 21, 2012

humble pie

There's been a few times
I had to eat humble pie.
I've grown accustomed to the idea that
what I seemed adamant about isn't important now.

What do you base your life on
when there is no steady horizon?
when change is the only thing that's certain
and things can alter instantly.

I cut myself another slice of humble pie
it looks like cheesecake with jelly. (Not my favorite.)
Still I can eat it because I know I have to
and it doesn't affect my dna.

Humble pie.
I appreciate your wisdom and calories.
May you fill me up and keep me modest.
With a cherry on top.

Friday, May 18, 2012

gentle death

- Ode to Mientje -

dying can be done well
in peace and with a soft last breath

when we have the choice:
would you resist or release?

the time to depart
can be upon us all too soon

and when a friend leaves it's
both sad and a joy for they feel better

death is not an end
but a start of being free of burden

there's singing energy of light and friends
a bright coloured place awaits where play is joy

the golden light sits in our heart
and the returned knowing in our soul

if all death is, is simply changing form
then what is all the fuss about?

I look upon my friends face
she is no longer there but she did return home

Tuesday, May 15, 2012


No room for usual babble.
I do not feel like catching up
with people who are no longer my friends.
Just leave me alone
I'm not feeling overly friendly toward humans.

My solitude is
one of kindness and sharing
with my animal friends.
Who do not jabber about trivial things.
But silently chew their cud and simply live their being.

My sweet equally
let's me be, and treads more softly
as he understands I have run out of social space.
Just let me be babe..
sitting in the grass looking at the stars, feeling happy.

Home is... where the heart is
and blessed are we who can find peace again, amidst the ruckus, in ourselves.

Thursday, April 12, 2012


No idea.
I have really no idea.
Why there are more earthquakes
more angry confused people
more monetary problems
more governments collapsing
more people wanting their freedom
more people having enough of the old ways

All I know is that times are not changing
We are.
As we move with the new flow of life
the birthing of Gaia is the birthing of us

Enough of all that speaking
if you don't know why say anything?
Instead of watching try some doing
and if you don't "do" then at least be Peace.
Be quiet for the other
Be love for the other
Be there for another

Be you and peace and wisom will reign
In your hearts of heart
once again

Tuesday, March 27, 2012


My horse has shown me that my own vibe, thought patterns and worries quite literally influence her being. This teaches me to be more aware of cleaning up my own "in" as to address the "output" better. I see it as being responsible for what I let venture out into the world through me. The less I "dump" out "there" the better. The more lightness I sprinkle the more happy my life evolves and the nicer it is for others to be around me. What you have inside you encounter outside.

It has been suggested to me to meditate more. Again. I have found this hard in recent months as I usually race around from the time I get up, then get to work, then come home after a commute to race around again. Most of us call it the "rat-race", the term literally drips with unpleasantness. Time for an upgrade and a healing session. Beep. Beep.

Do we have to make decisions all the time? Yep. Can we have a holiday? Perhaps. The point however is not to find an escape from our busy lives -maybe some reprieve can be useful to rethink our approach-, but more so to live life from a steady point of being, which in turn is always in motion. Life is change. There is no way we can remain the same, nor should we want to. I think once we feel at peace with where we are, how we feel and who we are, the easier things get every day (I have said this before so I feel like I keep repeating myself).

Usually when I figured something out, then there is something else to figure out. This will continue. I am happy about that. I think I have come to terms with the fact I will never grow up but will always develop. It's more like a re-aquainting sort of exercise. Like an oh yesssss that's right that's what it is. Only to find that the red has turned pink with orange hues which in turn has started to emit ferret noises attempting to sound like an opera. Fascinating. It's a change from the giraffe last week.

So the bumper sticker may change every week and the whole car every year but the one driving the vehicle remains the everlasting driving force. Bonsai on!

Friday, March 16, 2012


We bounce
through life
Not always knowing
where we land

Does it matter?
Turning off the headspace
and opening the heart space
Shows us a new world of wonder

Usually the hardest combat
is not with a someone 'out there'
but dealing with the turmoil inside
that phases out when we focus again on love

The most uplifting times can be had
after we have fallen smack bang on our face
and in our despair realize
That there is always more then that.

Make peace with it.

photo copyrighted. pictured: chookBFF Greta and myself on the farm

Monday, March 12, 2012

he said, she said

She said:
There's no words anymore
He said:
It's all been said anyway

She said:
I don't feel respected anymore
He said:
You don't have respect for me

She said:
I wonder what else there is
He said:
I'm too tired to think about anything

She said:
I guess this is the end
He said:
You said it.

She said:
Why are we not really sad?
He said:
We have been over this so many times
She said:
I miss what I remember
He said:
I remember what I miss

She said:
Give me some space please
He said:
I'm fully spaced out.

She said:
So now what do we do?
He said:
I want the stereo

She said:
I'm staying here
He said:
That's fine I'm going away

She said:
So that's how we stop?
He said:
That's how we start again

She said:
I like to believe it will stop hurting
He said:
I hurt because I stopped believing

She said:
Let's not talk later then
He said:
Later has gone now too.

She said:
At least I'll have some peace
He said:
At least there will be some quiet.

She said:
He said:

Thursday, March 1, 2012

movement alights

Loie Fuller, the once famous American dancer living in France in the 1900s who became an overnight success in 1892, was in fact: "something of a paradox. A tall and lovely sylph in posters and sculptures, she was in reality a rather chubby woman with a fairly plain face. A dance innovator, she possessed no formal training in choreography. Eventually a cofounder of art museums, she had never even seen an art exhibit before going to Paris at the age of thirty."

It must have been a huge exercise in those days, over a century ago, to make one's living as a woman who's husband turned out not to be a bigamist, but a trigamist and she could only rely on herself. "What she did have, in addition to her winning ways, was a dauntless will to get ahead, together with enough intelligence, resourcefulness, and ingenuity to give effect to that will. These qualities were not only recognized but often admired by others, including the prominent art critic Arsene Alexandre, who in 1900 lauded her vitality and positive drive and proclaimed her to be a very pushing woman in the best sense of the word. The strength of these traits enabled her to keep going in the face of repeated disappointments and disasters."

(source quotes NYTimes)

So how did Loie develop her unique form of dance?

"Images were projected onto fabric through the use of calcium lights, drapery and magic lanterns (a type of early slide projector). Fountains lit with multi-coloured lights that she saw in Paris, as well as the skirt dances performed at London's Gaity Theatre all influenced her own presentations."
source: Artsalive
So the question becomes: do we create our best work because we get the idea while working away, or do we simply create it, because we have a strong urge to survive? This lady managed to stun everyone in her time period with something no one had ever seen by introducing new ways to light the dress, to move differently. She completely overhauled the concept of what dance was. Sadly the chemicals she used to light her theater work proved fatal for her health in the end, yet her beautiful legacy remains.

Monday, January 30, 2012


We always talk. Even when we don't speak. It's a funny thing.

Melanie Kay makes art. Not just any of course, but one made from a "moral narrative". She tells stories by stitching visuals on recycled beer cans. Why does she do this? "The desire for my work to be meaningful influences the things that interest and astound me which in turn influences the way in which I work."

The idea is that she makes her art, it will be visually interesting and then the story will start to be told as people will want to know what it is about. "Using beer cans as a surface for my work has meant that I have had to be innovative in the way in which I transfer imagery onto the cans. I begin my illustrations mostly in pencil and then use various textile techniques to transfer the imagery onto the cans including, printing, heat pressed textile vinyl, hand and machine embroidery." Yes her art works are very much "social objects" which I have written about before, based on artist Hugh MacLeod's lovely stories.

Photos: Melanie Kay

The process of making art is always interesting. At artschool emphasis is put on developing one's "theory" (this seems to be the same on different continents I have discovered). Reality teaches us that most artists simply discover techniques or how to make their art by simply "doing" (aka mucking around, twiddling or fidgeting) not by concocting a pretty laid out "how-to" before hand. How Melanie came up with her "beer can" story board, read more about that here.

That's the first start right there!
The second... transformation in progress...

end result! Certainly not any beer can surface is it?. "You are not in Kansas anymore" as they say. Nope, Melanie Kay went off to many places, including Dublin. Well done!

And it turns out I have come a fellow animal nut. Marvellous! Blog post here.
I hope to see more news come out about Melanie's career which looks promising indeed.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

animal communication

You know how you get out of bed and at times you think: what activity makes me the happiest to go and do? We all have that. I have been trying several things aside of working in the interior design industry since 2003. What I have always been crazy about, without exception, are animals. Furry preferably but even chooks can be a true delight (and I don't mean to eat). As my father was allergic to animals we could only have fish at home. Fortunately at the end of the street the council had built a mini petting zoo with goats on this grass field. I've had a soft spot for goats ever since I was able to visit them before and after school and see the baby goats grow up.
(photo of some of our fuzz friends in the front field)
Over the years I have been reading books and trying out things in regards to understanding animals. This has been increasingly interesting! Last weekend I had a goat whispering session with an ex feral goat called Paddy. His human mum had had him in a small field because Paddy seemed to always want to be the boss and chase other smaller animals around (and even had bowled people over on occasion). His mum didn't like that very much. But Paddy got lonely and let me know that he would very much like to be close to the other animals and talk to them. He had gotten sad and demure, unlike his usual fun spirit. I told his mum of what I received and suggested Paddy'd be put with 3 donkeys in another field. She agreed and Paddy moved in and started to dance around the donkeys and proceeded to hug one with enthusiasm by scratching her neck. She let him.
(It's baby goat boom time! Cute fuzz balls everywhere!)

I feel people forget that our pets have emotions and wishes of their own. They are not "dumb". In many ways they are like children: they want things, they can even demand things, but it would be good if we chose to respect what they wish to say and listen to it. We can say no and explain why. I have two goat boys hanging out with a horse and a jersey cow at the moment. One is the buck and he can't be with the girls as they are giving birth to baby goats right now plus we don't want them impregnated until May. I have found it helpful to explain to the goat boys that they have to live somewhere else because the girls are busy and that they will be allowed back in a few months. At first they were a bit scared of the horse but it only took a day or so for them to walk close to her and now the tall mare doesn't worry them one little bit. Animals are very capable to socialize with other species, unlike humans. They always amaze me with this.
(miss Rosie she is a zesty friend)
I'm currently reading books by Amelia Kinkade, a lady who can speak with animals. I enjoy her stories and her wisdom. Her excercises are very helfpul to aid in further developing skills. Have you tried to figure out what your pet is saying? Behaviour is always telling as we are generally so inept to understand their language which mainly consists of feelings and images. If they are ignored they start barking, being naughty, soiling or chewing. If they are in pain they find a quiet spot, moan or look listless and stop eating. It's by caring that we can spot what the story is.

In general we can pick up many things as long as we pay attention. I have found that the trick is to not fill in the blanks which can be hard. So in order to shut up the chatter box that is our minds we can find it helpful to take a walk, go to the beach, meditate, sit somewhere quietly. It's astounding what we start to notice once we take our foot of the pre programmed accelarator. Have you tried this lately? Have you stopped talking in order to listen better? What was said?

Wednesday, January 4, 2012


There's nothing corny
and nothing callously old story
about breast cancer,
just a funny odd feeling on one side you said.

The cancer is now dying within you
as you are living beautifully with it.
Your vibrancy outshines the dark lump
that it once was.

Your new look is Sinead O'Connor
and people make misguided comments
turning bright red when you
tell them your straightforward truth.

Blessed are you and determined with heart.
Angels surround you,
whispering soft songs in your ear.
Carrying you in their love forever.