Monday, December 19, 2011


Last week a new animal joined our menagerie of fuzzie-family on the farm: a horse. I was as surprised as you to hear about it as it all happened very fast. In any case: here Silky arrived and my what a power house she is! A wise and beautifully proud thoroughbred, she got the gist of me quickly and is very kind to me. She absolutely adores my husband.

If you have never been around horses: they are literally a different breed. For starters they are herd animals and very very observant of humans. Uncanningly so. To say that I would be in future teaching the horse anything is a misguided statement: I will do no such thing. The horse teaches the horse, and the horse teaches me. "Soft handling makes for soft horses". (It doesn't mean I can go and act like a pussy, it means I have to lead by example. How I treat her is how she will treat me.)

How can you follow and trust another being if you don't "get" what they're like? There's nothing like getting focused and clearer about yourself then working with animals and in my case, with a horse. They will tell you. They will mirror your gnawing doubts or your silly behaviour and especially your ignorance. They will take charge when you don't simply because they test you and when you doubt yourself they will know and run with their fancies. They can be cheeky buggers when given the opportunity. It really depends on how steadfast you are to what degree the horse trusts you and will follow you.

Rest assured I will not go into girly fluffy Odes to the Horses, that was not my intention. I'm fascinated by the horse, that she after 16 years is still happy and full of energy despite being taken off a meat truck and having been moved from place to place as a rescue horse. Thoroughbreds are race horses and that's generally what they do. Silky has numbers tattooed on her but I haven't delved into her history as yet. I wish to get to know her as she is now, her past is not relevant as such.

Did you know that horses mostly learn by release of pressure? They don't learn from pain, that's when they just shut it out and ignore it. They respond mostly to subtle changes and naturally respond big time to big changes in their environment. I find this fascinating. It means when interacting with them, that it's vital to "think like a horse" which goes through anticipating, sensing and behaving like a herd animal, and to be more precise: a prey animal, as we humans are the incessant predator types. So I have to be aware of how my behaviour affects the horse and how she will feel about it. All the time. It's quite different then say cattle, horses are more articulate in their responding to us.

I'm deliberately taking my time with Silky. She is still getting used to our place, the noises (doesn't seem to fond of tractors) and gets a bit possesive if Rosie the jersey cow gets more attention then she does. Also what's interesting is who is the "top-mare" (me in this case) and how we stand in each others personal space.

Animals are very much like humans. They have desires, they want to have a clean warm bed, good food and assurance there will be love and cuddles in a place of safety. To me it's important we develop our trust rapport and that she gets used to us doing things together like walking, grooming, foot work, putting things on her back, before I even put a saddle near her. I also have bought a saddle measure device to make sure a saddle is right for her and that back problems won't be an issue. Horse problems often get blamed on the horse whereas they can be as simple of using the wrong gear that hurts them, or having been let down the bad habits path by people who didn't realize what they were teaching.

Partnership, not so much leadership, requires patience and understanding. It also I find is a matter of mostly self responsibility. As a Danish horse whisperer puts it: the horse will want to follow you if you not only do things right but "be" right. It's a co-creation dance. Be aware, and appreciative, and many things will naturally develop, and all will flow from there. So I've started from the assumption and resolve that I feel right within myself, and trust myself, so that she can trust me and that way we can rely on each other in this parnership. Mainly we want to have tons of fun! I know she wants to trot and run too, but all in good time. In building friendship with a horse, going slow makes sure things go smoothly and ultimately: better.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011


sometimes I do not know what I will write
and I needn't worry
as words flow from me
like water from a stream

turning off my head
is opening up my heart
and right now it's filled with so much
compassion that I cry.

I sob because the ones we love leave us
be it only from the physical plane
as love is eternal and so are all beings
whether they are bugs, beast or humans.

So for the tears and the sorrow
It's mostly because I feel so much love
that I don't know what to do with:
so much energy wells up in me

Blessed are we who dare to love
Who dare to cry with the acceptance of that light
It takes courage to shine, to be who we are
Loving ourselves is something we tend to forget

Being able to receive the love
from others is opening that door for ourselves,
allowing the possibility of pain in as well as the love,
as really it's the endless joy we know it all really to be.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011


is the start of embrace
the sharing of heart
the opening up of us, the seeing of all.

The battle has died
before they thought it begun
Because many made the changing decision
to live differently, as they feel differently now.

Our children
are born with more attributes
talents so bright, both in light as in being.
We will see those big changes as intent moves them.

We are not alone.
We are all indeed the same and also belong with others.
Unify our best intentions and our biggest dreams
and lo and behold! The new earth is showing itself already.

Understanding dawns along with a newfound desire.
And through that the expression of love.

Photo by Janice Ward -copyrighted and reprinted here with permission.

Friday, December 2, 2011


What does ego do? What does ego mean? For a lot of people it's tide in with self absorbing, navel gazing and creepy things like meglomaniaccing or phsycho-weirdo activities. Is that really it? Mais non.

Why do we have one? Do we still need it? What about ditching it? Releasing that fluffy ego in favor of sharing our dear hearts with the world. Sorta hippie but also very joi de vivre who cares let's go sort of sentiment. Bring out the wines and have another round of merriness. It's so interesting that people love mostly their own names, their own interests and stories, whilst at the same time expressing that many things are not working so well for us nationally or globally (economics, environment, politics to name a few).

Eckart Tolle is a big fan of releasing one's ego (no I haven't read any of his books yet but I'm sure I will soon, after I finish my "Kryon" series. I quite like him on Youtube. Interesting soft spoken man.) In any case: can we go without our ego at all? Good question. I mean why do we have that thing anyway? What use does it possibly have?

Apparently, as my friend Gabriel has told me, our ego is: "of much use to humans to anchor themselves in their current reality, and to differentiate themselves from others, in order to learn and expand in their individual (expression of) knowing and learning." Groovy. In essence: our ego is a chip built into the hardware, like a code saying: this is Fred number 9643196. The software is made up of programs we choose to follow and we can always delete some and install new ones. Fascinating. So would it be advisable to ditch that ego?

As Gabe says: "it's not that you have to do anything you don't want to. As humanity is moving in to the realm of expressing themselves differently as a whole, communication changes as the increase of a broader perception comes into play. Ego as the expression of individuality becomes like a mainstream colour or strawberries. Those who loves trawberries become connected and share that feeling they have in common of being drawn to strawberries. From there on, groups will form and thoughts and feelings will be shared, much like an online forum. Ego as such becomes less and less of a neccessity as you increasingly find that it is more interesting to share, rather then to keep stuff to yourself. (That's also why secrets will be a thing of the past in the future he says.)

Hence the ego that once was just one man or woman becomes a field of many, whether these are connected because of their interest in strawberries or because they are more in tune to say making indie-folk music. (Refer to Stephen Hawkins to explain the quantum field in detail.) So that ego which ties you and binds you to your duality of being, as humans are wired to be at present, slowly this ego-state will morph into something else again. It's not so much Ego-less as it is Evolution. It's a natural process and can be a pleasant one, depending on how you look at it and how strongly you feel about your individuality."

Some ego stuff huh. If you're not careful you can trip over your self importance. I don't consider myself to be any more special then anyone else, just different. I'm a unique expression. Everyone else is their unique expression. This to me is a very cool thing! And I sure do like strawberries.