"in"

My horse has shown me that my own vibe, thought patterns and worries quite literally influence her being. This teaches me to be more aware of cleaning up my own "in" as to address the "output" better. I see it as being responsible for what I let venture out into the world through me. The less I "dump" out "there" the better. The more lightness I sprinkle the more happy my life evolves and the nicer it is for others to be around me. What you have inside you encounter outside.

It has been suggested to me to meditate more. Again. I have found this hard in recent months as I usually race around from the time I get up, then get to work, then come home after a commute to race around again. Most of us call it the "rat-race", the term literally drips with unpleasantness. Time for an upgrade and a healing session. Beep. Beep.

Do we have to make decisions all the time? Yep. Can we have a holiday? Perhaps. The point however is not to find an escape from our busy lives -maybe some reprieve can be useful to rethink our approach-, but more so to live life from a steady point of being, which in turn is always in motion. Life is change. There is no way we can remain the same, nor should we want to. I think once we feel at peace with where we are, how we feel and who we are, the easier things get every day (I have said this before so I feel like I keep repeating myself).

Usually when I figured something out, then there is something else to figure out. This will continue. I am happy about that. I think I have come to terms with the fact I will never grow up but will always develop. It's more like a re-aquainting sort of exercise. Like an oh yesssss that's right that's what it is. Only to find that the red has turned pink with orange hues which in turn has started to emit ferret noises attempting to sound like an opera. Fascinating. It's a change from the giraffe last week.

So the bumper sticker may change every week and the whole car every year but the one driving the vehicle remains the everlasting driving force. Bonsai on!

animal communication

You know how you get out of bed and at times you think: what activity makes me the happiest to go and do? We all have that. I have been trying several things aside of working in the interior design industry since 2003. What I have always been crazy about, without exception, are animals. Furry preferably but even chooks can be a true delight (and I don't mean to eat). As my father was allergic to animals we could only have fish at home. Fortunately at the end of the street the council had built a mini petting zoo with goats on this grass field. I've had a soft spot for goats ever since I was able to visit them before and after school and see the baby goats grow up.

(photo of some of our fuzz friends in the front field)
Over the years I have been reading books and trying out things in regards to understanding animals. This has been increasingly interesting! Last weekend I had a goat whispering session with an ex feral goat called Paddy. His human mum had had him in a small field because Paddy seemed to always want to be the boss and chase other smaller animals around (and even had bowled people over on occasion). His mum didn't like that very much. But Paddy got lonely and let me know that he would very much like to be close to the other animals and talk to them. He had gotten sad and demure, unlike his usual fun spirit. I told his mum of what I received and suggested Paddy'd be put with 3 donkeys in another field. She agreed and Paddy moved in and started to dance around the donkeys and proceeded to hug one with enthusiasm by scratching her neck. She let him.

(It's baby goat boom time! Cute fuzz balls everywhere!)

I feel people forget that our pets have emotions and wishes of their own. They are not "dumb". In many ways they are like children: they want things, they can even demand things, but it would be good if we chose to respect what they wish to say and listen to it. We can say no and explain why. I have two goat boys hanging out with a horse and a jersey cow at the moment. One is the buck and he can't be with the girls as they are giving birth to baby goats right now plus we don't want them impregnated until May. I have found it helpful to explain to the goat boys that they have to live somewhere else because the girls are busy and that they will be allowed back in a few months. At first they were a bit scared of the horse but it only took a day or so for them to walk close to her and now the tall mare doesn't worry them one little bit. Animals are very capable to socialize with other species, unlike humans. They always amaze me with this.

(miss Rosie she is a zesty friend)
I'm currently reading books by Amelia Kinkade, a lady who can speak with animals. I enjoy her stories and her wisdom. Her excercises are very helfpul to aid in further developing skills. Have you tried to figure out what your pet is saying? Behaviour is always telling as we are generally so inept to understand their language which mainly consists of feelings and images. If they are ignored they start barking, being naughty, soiling or chewing. If they are in pain they find a quiet spot, moan or look listless and stop eating. It's by caring that we can spot what the story is.

In general we can pick up many things as long as we pay attention. I have found that the trick is to not fill in the blanks which can be hard. So in order to shut up the chatter box that is our minds we can find it helpful to take a walk, go to the beach, meditate, sit somewhere quietly. It's astounding what we start to notice once we take our foot of the pre programmed accelarator. Have you tried this lately? Have you stopped talking in order to listen better? What was said?

flow

sometimes I do not know what I will write

and I needn't worry

as words flow from me

like water from a stream

turning off my head

is opening up my heart

and right now it's filled with so much

compassion that I cry.

I sob because the ones we love leave us

be it only from the physical plane

as love is eternal and so are all beings

whether they are bugs, beast or humans.

So for the tears and the sorrow

It's mostly because I feel so much love

that I don't know what to do with:

so much energy wells up in me

Blessed are we who dare to love

Who dare to cry with the acceptance of that light

It takes courage to shine, to be who we are

Loving ourselves is something we tend to forget

Being able to receive the love

from others is opening that door for ourselves,

allowing the possibility of pain in as well as the love,

as really it's the endless joy we know it all really to be.

veggies for life

I have decided:
I am becoming a vegetarian. It was likely to happen.
This nagging awareness that I was doing something silly.
How could I possibly eat those that are my friends?


When words unsaid are spoken
Nose to nose
When my curly hair is torn from my skull as they nibble
the practicing of their social rites of fitting me into
their group (because I smell funny goat Mia says).


How could I possibly eat my friends?


I have started to understand them 
that I know what they want
When they have pain and where
and what they want for dinner.
And how they want their beds made.
When they need clean water.
When they want cuddles and hoof holding.


How could I possibly eat my friends?


And even when Lisa the mini goat gets stuck in the fence again
as she's always curious
and always eager for the greener grass
I keep pulling her out and setting her free again.
As she dances off with a guilty face
I know she will do it again anyway but that's ok.
Looking after them is top priority.


How could I possibly eat my friends?


Why would it be hard to give up eating meat
when I can stop eating my friends.
And I can look them in the eye and say:
don't worry I'm one of you now:
I only eat greens.
I am part of your fuzzy tribe.


How could I possibly eat my friends?

(picture of Kuddles our 2 year old highland steer)

friends

So with your friends: do you look after them no matter what? Do you ward of foes? Do you always hold their hand? Do you tell them everything? What is the friendship protocol? Is it earth quake sensitive?


I guess for everyone it's different where they draw the line in what they are willing to do for their friends. And I'm not talking about the lady you always talk to at the counter of your local supermarket with her "Jenny" name tag and bubbly demeanor however lovely she may be.


Sometimes the best thing you can do for your friend is to let them work out what ever it is that is troubling them, because if you wouldn't give them space you would deprive them of the experience of self discovery. There are also times when you know you have to stick around, bring them soup, sit at their bed and tell silly stories of crazy tea-cosies or have a pillow fight instead.


So: how do you know what to do for a friend? I think you know when you listen to your feelings about it. They are your internal guidance system: it never fails you and it's always handy. Pay attention to what it says. If you feel you have to back off do so, if you feel you have to come to the rescue do so. If you feel you have to stay put do so. Not everyone may understand why you do what you do but that is beside the point as you know what you have to do. And as you are going by your best assessment on any given situation at any time, how could you possibly go wrong?
Here's another toast to instinct and intuition and doing the "right thing" for your friends.

art that speaks..

There is something about these photographs that is both beautiful and unnerving. These works are by Charlie McLenahan - her website is here. I guess everyone who sees them may have a different feeling about them naturally.

Somehow it seems to show both how we care about living beings and how we have distanced ourselves as well (slaughterhouses etc, the reality of SPCA)

Sometimes too we may find we cling on to something that is no longer there... I find this photo of the chookie very impressive.

And this one touching. It may happen too, that our connection with a being has become something that we distinctly remember, and it has become a part of who we are as it lives along in our memories. We treasure this time, as we have treasured them.

____________________________________________________________

Charlie says about her work:

"I am a London born artist now living in Moray,Scotland, where I completed my BA (Hons) for fine art. My art uses the medium of photography to show the things that we all see but never look at. Within this work I have photographed road kill and any other newley found dead to create an immortality for the animal." 

"this work consists of an expose of the soulless exploitation of the natural world it manipulates the interface between the digital and the dead to effect the transition between life, death and eternity"

_____________________________________________________________

All I can add is: thank you life, that is both breathing and dead. Special and cumber-sum, heavy and light. Thank you animals for adding richness to our lives and putting up with our ignorant antics. We appreciate you being here with us.

For more about Charlie's work, there is wonderful interview by artist Leisa Rich (one of my online friends) here.

Zen and work

With working every day there's always that thing about finding the precarious balance of ZEN and letsgo letsgo letsgo! Nico and I agreed we have to watch our input-output levels. The fuses get short at times when we do too much stuff in a day. This is of course entirely our own fault. Mad dutchy disease. We collapse in the evening to get up early again. Times when we had fluffy duck weekends are something out of books and we have some very vague memories of them. Naturally we don't understand people who get bored in their time off or who can lay about on their sofas falling asleep. What IS with that? Really.


Now the best fluffy time is crammed in the times we visit 2 week old calf Bella to bottle feed her and then watch her zoom around the paddock at top speed chasing the goats. It's a good thing Glen the dog has retired as Bella can easily do his work... she's a natural. To the dismay of the goat girls who are still wondering whether Bella is a dog, a funny smelling goat or an alien that's landed in their domain.

(this is when mum Kate was still watching too, now Bella's moved to the goatie pasture.)

our little girl is growing up. Kapow!

Still life is great on the prairie and we wouldn't want to miss it. Even with all the things we have to do to increase its appeal and workability.

And it's also good to share, with some friends who come help feeding and literally pitch their tents for the night. 

Inspiration

For those who are wondering where I get my inspiration from: my history, background, experience, roots and personality would sum it up, but here are the main players at the moment that influence what I design:

In furniture:

David Trubridge: (New Zealand) clean crisp lines. Lightness and essentials. Very much New Zealand. You could say a down under scandinavian look but that would probably tick some people off. Like I said, very New Zealand. Beautiful.

Ligne Roset: (French)

Unexpected lines and round heavy shapes. Not your standard cup of tea. Especially when they place their futuristic pieces in a totally different environment it appeals more then when they place it in a modern house. The contrast makes it zing. To be honest their furniture looks quite ugly at first glance, but it's very much the statement factor in its heaviness that I like. Funny enough I would prefer another type of settee in our own house.

Actually the settee that I do want is this one, below, the Alcove settee from Vitra: sells for $12500.-, say 5000 euros. Nico said, one could pay a car for that. Yep. Love it though. Man it's comfortable, as I have tried it.

Moooi: (Dutch)

What can I say, Dutch Design to the mega max. Strong, bold, sometimes slightly creepy, like you're watching a thriller, and a magnificent ability to work with black and white. The highest marks. Very edgy. And yes I like the animals too of course.

In interior design:

Kelly Wearstler, (American)

Her use of colour and glamour are beautiful. She does the whole modern hollywood thing down to a t. Eclectic but smart. She posesses the ability to mix different styles and textures which create the most of striking interiors. I'm less traditional furniturial inclined but find her bold combinations very clever and effective. Great finesse and you can spot her trademark easily.

In home decor/interiors:

Jonathan Adler: (American) zest for life and whimsicalness, colour, colour, colour. How come gay men always seem so talented and creative? I've never met a gay man who wasn't!

At home/ farmlife: my animals

My kune kune pig Spunky (believe me she does her name credit) is so zesty and full of personality that even the highland bull Carlin goes out of her way when she ambles along. Power to the Piggess I say! Our goats are inquisitive and always have a happy friendly nature. The highland cattle have shaggy lines, thick coats and big horns. They cannot be tamed but are lovely to be around. I'm always happy to see all the animals and hang out with them. They put things in perspective and enquire where the food is at. Most of all they make me laugh. I love animals, they are easier to deal with then humans more often then not.

My grandmothers:

Both my mum's mum Margaret and Bep my father's mum were creative strongwilled women who didn't take no for an asnwer. Apparently Bep was the kind who loved parties and dancing on tables. I never knew Bep as she died when dad was 6, but I did know Margaret very well. She was what many people would call, an eccentric lady. Always well dressed and her make up on, ready to go out. A real flair for life and liking quality and living the good life. Very much the lady who loved her furcoats and trips to their home in Switzerland, discussing which restaurant was good and which one wasn't. Her and granddad were always going on about manners and we had to eat properly, behave properly and not be a nuisance. I got told off a few times for running off with brother Rene or being loud and feisty on the swing. Of course she was very human as well and probably not always the easiest to live with but heck she was fun. I have very fond memories of her and when granddad was being strict with us she would wink that we could have another cookie when he wasn't looking. She had a good sense of humour and I still remember how she would chuckle and sniff.

So that sums it up in a very small way as of course as there's always other things that work for me.

I like a combination of kiwi/scandinavian, smart and bold, colourful and black & white, a touch of the good old glamour with a dash of slightly unhingedness, all exuding great creative panache. Go figure...