expectations

Most of us carry images in our mind of how the world should be. When reality and those inner images don't overlap or struggle to come to a meet, we generally experience strong emotions as  a result. In the past I observed the bumps and bruises expectations can create when they are not met in my own family. It's not so much painful to me to see this when I am involved, but more so when I'm not as it makes me sad.

What I find funny is my occasional 'bumps' and 'hiccups'. Just when I think I'm on a road of being at peace with things and feeling energetic something might throw me off balance unexpectedly. Then I'm thinking ok what have I done NOW? Sometimes I can laugh about it, other times I call myself an idiot. Usually it's about something I failed to recognize, like say discovering an old habit that I have been ignoring or seeing that my attitude needs re-aligning in an area.

Making small steps and changing the images of our desired life in our minds to a fairly upbeat realistic scenario is more preferable. Self acceptance can be trying if we keep battling parts of who we are: demanding of ourselves to be this or that no matter what. The thing is too that it's not other people's job to live up to your expectations to ease your life, it's your job to live up to yours. And preferably: you will be nice to yourself in the process.

Try and appreciate others even if they don't conform to your expressed or unexpressed wishes. Wouldn't it be a lot nicer if we set each other free? It would surely take the pressure off. And we would be far more fun to be around each other.

So really: trying to accommodate other people's expectations is very hard work, but your own can be such a struggle too. And it doesn't need to be. It takes a lot of willpower to stay true to ourselves and to let others do things their way. Trust that other people are experts at running their own lives, making their own choices, even if you don't see the wisdom of it. You may not be holding all the cards. Let them go.

And have a laugh. I know I am for being such a muppet! (That post was almost too serious for my own good. Time to move on. Have a fab weekend!)

the lofty design process

I was reading a blog post (here) on how much time it can take to design a fabric. The lady in question said it could take up to 6 months. And it's not as easy as it seems. How interesting!


Now I remember when dad tried to teach me how to ride a push bike when I was a grasshopper. I fell over. I might have scraped my knees. I'm sure I must have bawled my wee eyes out and screamed I would never get back on the thing. I would be afraid of the big bike. I would yell dad had to not let go. This I remember clearly (poor dad). Then there's the memories of me naturally cycling at top speed on bikes of any size and chasing friends around. Lots of shouting, yelling and laughing going on. Still the occasional scraped knee but nothing to worry about.


My fabric designing days started organically. I designed my cows and couches in wait for it... a weekend. Not months. Now either I'm the next Van Gogh (I don't think so, too fond of my ears etc) or a more likely explanation: all that preceded to the point of Hemptech taking me on as a designer was the fact I attended Artschool in the Netherlands, I had my own studio for a few years, I emigrated to New Zealand, and kept designing for family and other relations while working as an interior stylist and later, interior decorator/designer. 


The fact is that people who are good in what they do (I'm not saying I am, I have my humble moments of perplexity that others like my stuff), lies more in the experience, and honing of one's skills, the repetition of the exercise,  which allows magic to happen, more so then forcing it out of us (or stomping our feet when it doesn't happen).


Athletes will tell you they didn't get that medal at the end or got to the Olympics after 6 months of training. We're talking years of dedication people. Don't expect you'll hit the jackpot in 6 months (although you very well might financially if you buy a ticket and good on you too.)


So as boring as it may sound: if you know how to paddle that bike-kanoe, ride that horse or swim that ocean, you are likely to have done it quite some time before you reach the other side. Process is continuous growth. Truth is, you're never "there". Society nowadays seem to crave instant success, instant meals, instant love making and instant customer service. Instant, now and immediate seems to be a lot to expect. Which means there also will be a lot of disappointments. It depends on the skills and the honing of said skills what the time frame will be of any result.


Practice makes perfect. There's no way around that.