personally

This last week I have noticed numerous instances where people online have entered comments to defend their hurt feelings regarding online topic debates or to simply observe participants at play. Fascinating. As many of us spend so much time online, including grandmothers and grandfathers who are a growing demographic on Facebook, we are taking the daily conversation to the inter-sphere. Nothing new there, but how we incorporate these platforms IS. It is likely we will see increases of different and more seamlessly joined forms of communication, both technically based, and not. It's an exciting time to live in.

So why is the way of communication changing? Not just because we have access to all the techy gizmos. We basically upgraded to other forms of connection then we did previously. Mind you we still stand around the bbq in summer and catch up on all the highs and lows too, as we have physical bodies to sustain. Online at times we seem to be more honest then we would be in real life, giving our opinion more readily. On the other hand there are plenty of people who enjoy the game of make pretend. Calling people names or sharing our inner most secrets is really an individual choice. The whole behavioral dynamic is what I personally find most wonderful to watch.

And then there is the choice you have to make in all aspects: how much do you want to share? Once it's out there it's hard if not impossible to erase. The written or video-made testimony is out there for as long as there is internet. I have discussed this with various people. The credo is: if you don't have anything to hide, you shouldn't have anything to worry about. On the same token: common sense rules. Always remember, as you do offline and online, the rules of the game are the same: if you behave like a jerk people will stop wanting to play with you and no longer choose to respect or like your word. Social online communication does require some skill and practice. Being a douche doesn't. Something to ponder.

A good friend of mine says: "don't take it personally". There is truly a lot of wisdom in that.

change

Today we are going to chat a bit about change. Not that I haven't done so before ;)

I'm going through quite a transformation at the moment and seeing the light or not, one also needs to do the dishes every night and walk the dog. So it is getting into the exhilaration of "knowing" and the act and purposefulness of "doing". I am happy and excited to continue to bring you funny and informative reads. Feedback is always welcome, questions too.

Now then. What are most of us experiencing and wanting at the moment?

You are wanting an expansion of your knowing. Many are troubled. The world as we have known it is changing. Tell your story. Tell of how you wish it to be in your life. Know that you are strong and that your vision (ambition/goals) can be realized. You may be required to leave that which you know to be familiar behind you.

What is holding you back? What is your biggest wish? What do you dream of? What are you afraid of?

Not many want to have their questions answered in fear of what it will tell them. The alternative is to lead your life without knowing. How much fun can there be in that? I have made a start and done things to contribute to that which is good for many. See what you can do. Start a group, build a movement... or simply share what's on your mind and what is waiting in your heart. It's not that hard. You made it so if it is.

Make friends, be open, be courageous, dare to live, cease to be afraid. The time is now and embracing the change that is, is found on your doorstep. Will you take a chance? Open the door and finally immerse in that which is bigger then you. It's exciting and it is fun. Join the Change that we all are becoming.

the conversation?

Did you ever think of yourself as being amusing? We forget sometimes. Life is so serious and all.

(image by Gapingvoid)


Of course the more serious we take ourselves the less fun we are likely to be. Ah. Yes quite a revelation. I didn't mean that we have to be entertaining all the time by any means, but by golly we might as well be pleasing. I mean why not? (Apparently researchers have developed the means to automatically find "trolls" on internet posts who are in need of anger-management: read here)


In several conversations with (online) friends and the hubbaliscious, a trend of what-we-would-like-to-see versus oh-I-actually-meant-that and yikes-I'd-rather-be-doing-this-instead was popping up. Our abilities to "play nice" are getting a bit frayed. If on twitter we can only have 140 characters and on Facebook a bit more, the fact that we reduce the message by shortening it doesn't necessarily imply that the reader "gets" what we're broadcasting. Not anymore. And also: if we are feeling frustrated, tired or what-have-you, why take it out on other people?


Most people are in a hurry. The "information absorption rate" is dropping. The ability to cope and showing signs of irritability have increased a lot across the board. So, do we still have time for each other? Can we make time to "chill out"? Ah yes. Prioritizing. And saying: no. And thank you. Please?


As Fastcompany puts it: "Constant connectivity means we are constantly distracted. It's now difficult to be truly alone. As a result we never get a chance to think deeply about who we are and where we are going. This links to Nicholas Carr's point in The Shallows that our thinking is becoming hurried, cursory and superficial. Interesting counter-point here. We have never been so connected and yet U.S. research is showing that we have never felt so alone.

24/7 access to everything is creating a culture that values immediacy over and above almost everything else. We can no longer wait for things to happen. Again, this can give rise to a lack of rigour and reflection but it can also cause serious mistakes. I'd predict a single-tasking movement as a reaction against multi-tasking.

Digitalisation is creating too much information and choice. There is now so much to consider that we take shortcuts to knowledge."

(except taken from post: Mind map of the Digital Age.)

So, all the more reason to unhook ourselves from the web, and return to the actual world. My favorite pastime is at home, sitting in a grass field in the sun in my farm overalls, watching the goats and highland calfs gently chew their cud, not showing a sign of worry in the world. They look content, calm and healthy. Escapism or not, it beats playing Farmville on Facebook any day of the week.

friends and strangers

Interesting ponderings lately. I'm having "Happy Tuesday" and am sharing another mindpoppy with you. (Feel free to give feedback in the comment section.)


Many of us yarn or rabbit or talk or chat or tweet or post or write or brag or ponder about learning and the art of progress. This takes individual forms and unique expressions. For each and every one of us there is a goal or direction of some description, there may be a dream or vision, there may be some cash available or maybe not, there may be support from others or maybe not. Still: the fact that you are reading this post implies you have:
a. things in common with me, otherwise you'd be on YouTube watching some chimps in action, or actually doing your work or getting those dishes done and
b. you have things in common with the other readers of this blog as well. This I find a very nice idea. In this time of rapid technological advancement they say there is no solitude anymore, unless you seek it. The beauty is really to meet other groovy souls we otherwise wouldn't have, as the beaming up technology is not yet available to us.


This morning I received an email from Simon Mainwaring to say I had won the book "Crush it" by Gary Vaynerchuk, signed, sealed and delivered. I was surprised. I was excited. I was grateful. And I thought: interesting how inspiring people are so compelling and also: how cool to befriend people all over the globe. To have dialogs, questions, more questions then answers, stories, at time advice, and always the joy of discovery.


After the first phase we get the second phase: personal stories and more sharing. To offer more details of the things we did that were embarrassing, the cock ups, the sheer stupidity, the learning curves. A friend of mine told me there are many posers out there. I understand the sentiment. It is true that it is hard for some to be transparent and genuine. Instead of getting annoyed we might feel these people we come accross are maybe not yet sure of what they are really about. I don't know, but it's worth considering. The point is we have a choice always whom we want to give attention to. We also have the inhibitions to be careful, as our parents drummed into us not to accept candy from strange men and not walk home alone. Especially not when you're a girl.


Still, I'm all for keeping the door open, more so then keeping it shut. When we have been snubbed, conned, let down, hurt or just plain feel disappointed, it's tempting to say: they did it! And not try again. But really; who's losing out? In the end you find it's in your best interest to keep trying and happily hoping. Be sensible, but keep that door open, because there are great people out there and basically you make the choice yourself, by expressing who you are, to draw towards you those that you want to find. If you are not happy with who you are seeing, focus on those you would like to see instead. 


The world is diverse, and it's truly amazing to be alive and kicking today. Kudos to you all. "Live long and prosper."
.

dedication

I've noticed recently that some people I know seemed to have the notion that I must have a lot of play time on my hands. Because why, I seem to be able to follow social media and write blogs. Forgive me but I'm baffled. Today someone literally said: "I don't have time for that as I'm too busy."

Writing blogs and following others on Twitter is not because I'm a lady of leisure, it's because I like to know what's happening out there. I've been writing since I set foot in New Zealand in 2002, it's not a recent thing. In order to sell my jewellery it's also helpful that I'm easy to get to know. To sum it up: I like writing, have a passion for designing and I love people.

I get the strong impression that many think sales is about getting to know people so they can sell their products or services. Buzzer! No. I sell both more furniture and jewellery when people trust me, because they like me, and value what I offer them. But the connection comes first, never the product. It's about building a relationship, not to 'score'.

Marc is from Business Blogs twitters (@BusinessTalk). He is on Facebook as well to promote Business Blogs of which he is the Founder, he's director at Mobilize Mail and owner at PropertyTalk.com. He runs these businesses from Wellington. He's a very busy man and has invited me to join Business Blogs. I am grateful that he appreciates my stories and that I'm getting to know him.

Marc says: "If you are not passionate about what you are doing then you will fail. Only do what you are passionate about as the passion will get you up in the morning after working 4 years without a holiday and keep you going when it all seems to get too much."

Is he someone to lounge about? I don't think so. How does business work: we trust someone, we like their services or products, we listen to them and we talk. Online and offline chats both have their value. Word of mouth even works in the twittersphere. What's important is how we think and what we spend energy on, how we represent ourselves and how we do our promotion. Things are changing. As my work dictates I have to stay put during the day, online media is another way of staying in touch. I have found Businessblogs a great read, have inspiring articles and good information.

"Buyers research online before making a purchase decision so if you cannot be found via search, blogs, forums or social media networks then you don’t exist! Businesses also need to gain trust with buyers and continue to deliver value. BusinessBlogs.co.nz increases the awareness of your brand and message." So building your name is groovy, but it starts with your passion. What makes you tick and how is that different from anyone else?

Basically: if you love your work: awesome. If not, you might like to think about why the heck you do what you do, and HOW. (Visit Jonathan Mead's website and download his free ebook on the Zero work week, which is what I'm currently reading.)

visual conversation

It's all about the conversation these days, whether I read up on things that are current on Seth Godin's blog, read Idealog magazine and a few others, surf international blogs and websites: the trend du jour is all about talking - the interaction that matters - rather then just following and absorbing. It's also about checking out that which interests us and what is genuine. No more fibs of advertising thank you, we'd rather discuss things on forums or at the pub which confirms our opinion. We tend to believe 'people like us' more then what we are told by organizations (read Idealog about more of this).

Adding on to above I'm going to bowl you over with something else entirely: language is generally not so much the words, it's what's being shaped in our mind when we hear and see, that draws the associated emotions. What is our inner radar telling us about what we're witnessing? What are we interested in? What is our make up? What really matters to us? Who are we really?

Have we ever considered that there may be other sources of information available to us, even if we do not consciously can verbalize what the message is, what the conversation is about? We can pick up more then we think and it seems scientifically proven that our consciousness does not reside just in our brain, because when we're declared brain dead, we can still observe and 'live'. (Read more about Pim van Lommel's research here and here.)

I've been interested in Crop circles since Nico and I literally stumbled over one during a holiday in England in the mid nineties. Nico and I were so impressed with the discovery in a wheat field that we ended up cruising around finding all these other designs. Walking through them was quite an experience. It was a bit of a hype at the time and I did a lot of reading up on it upon returning home, even communicating with professors and the like in the Netherlands getting down to the nitty gritty science of it. Heck I even ended up doing my art essay on cropcircles and land art in my senior year, comparing the two and discussing 'virtual language'.

For me the various 'explanations' of how crop circles could be physically made were interesting but not the most fascinating. What is incredible is the science and the visual aspects of it: over time the crop circles have increased to manifest in intricate and ever so complex patterns. The assumption that they are man made as an 'of course' seem doubtful when you realize the enormous size of them and the fact it would be a humongous and impossible task to manufacture them in the dark using rope and the like without denting the surrounding stalks and also without being caught. I'm not advocating some fluffy daisy theory but rather am open minded about alternative sources and the possibility and likelyhood of things happening in our world we may not yet comprehend. (It wouldn't be the first time and it would also be more interesting.)

Nowadays the attitude towards crop cirlces have been oh yeah whatever, some green hippies playing tag, but which ever it turns out to be, I have continued to find the images intriguing. They are a language, in a virtual form hat we are not as yet accustomed to. It's not so much about who the storyteller that's important as the effect, the visual image that is so compelling. It's not so strange that branding consist of a strong logo, excellent story and blow-me-down product.

Whatever technical evolved society we may end up in living, the basics are always, the human story, the interaction, the effect it has on us. The Power of Visuals in a nutshell.

So, what images are 'talking to you' lately?

visuals: Crop circle connector