cancer

"If you know your own light, why darken it? That is what cancer does."

What is cancer about. Did you ever wonder that? I do. Not the physical, not the blasting the body with chemicals story. I'm talking about the human experience of it. How can it get in a body in the first place? And if it's there, what can be done about it other then the usual scenario?

And... when someone has fought in their own fashion, trying to deal with their existence the best they can, and it hasn't worked out as they hoped (fortunately many do heal and recover) and they lie in the Hospice room waiting... and.. dying. What is there then? What is there to do?

"Let the guns fall silent. There is no more war.

No one is up in arms, but you.

To find rest, amidst your own Self, without pity,

But with great respect, is a good cause.

What would you say, if there was never any trouble,

Except that which you brought here yourself.

And that there need be no sorrow

As your heart can be free, anytime?

Shed the weight you deem to carry.

The burden is nothing but a stone around your neck.

It’s your choice to redeem your freedom. Now. And ever.

Be brave is not about how you face things,

you have the courage to face yourself.

All things considered, that is all there is. 

Look!

It is Love.

Staring you in the face. After all. At the end.

Embrace it.

You are home, brother."

~Gabriel

note: I have written this post also for my mum, who is thinking about this as she knows several people who are experiencing stages of cancer. Anyone we know, seems to know someone with cancer. It's not about the cancer itself, but how we treat the person.

moving us

My truth is not yours

and yet it is part of us all

My life is not lived

Yet it has already been past and in the future.

My choices are my own

yet they are also inseparably yours. 

I figure out who I am

By learning what we're not

Do I not say what I mean?

All of us talk vibrationally.

It's energy that speaks.

The key is to actually pay attention.

Can you feel it?

Moving you?

karma

Whether you believe in Karma or not

Life has a way of shaping itself

As you see and feel it

in your mind

in your heart

Choosing now

to simply be

and accept all there is

releases the struggle within.

Nothing out there can hurt you

only the inability to understand the bigger picture

that makes you experience pain

and creates all struggle

Karma is a name for pattern in motion

It's just a label

Don't worry about its stories

Just feel what is right for you

and let go of that which no longer fits you

Simply be..

And feel you're way through it

You are your own guidance.

Trust that.

Trust your self.

That's all there is.

source karma idea: Eckhart Tolle

poem: Mirjam Spronk

photo: lookANDsee

trying too hard

Working hard can be useful. Working hard can be fun. Heck working hard can even be peaceful.

There is such a thing though as trying to hard:
Trying to hard to finish things when clearly time and energy are against you
Trying too hard to make it work with others when clearly it's not
Trying too hard when the marriage is over
Trying too hard to get people to like you when you're fine as you are
Trying too hard to make money when you're not enjoying the job
Trying too hard to juggle too many things
Trying too hard to make a point
Trying too hard to convince someone else. Why do you?
Trying too hard to get slim. Think healthy instead.
Trying too hard to keep all your promises.
Trying too hard to get "it all done".
Trying too hard to keep a clean house.
Trying too hard to ensure the kids grow up okay.
Trying too hard in bed.
Trying too hard to be funny.
Trying too hard to succeed. What is success anyway?
Trying too hard to "get ahead". What will you find once you have reached your goal?
Trying too hard to get time off.
Trying too hard to build your business. Live instead?
Trying too hard to fit in. Just do your own thing.
Trying too hard is... simply too hard!

So what is it with this hard business that we forget about the soft aspect? If you'd be too soft we would be in a very difference place right now. Yes it might look too pink and marshmellowy and society could slow down to a standstill... we could live in Barbapappa ville before we knew it. However it could be more pleasant. And we might notice what was actually already there.

So... are you trying too hard at the moment and need to mellow out or... did you get too soft to notice?

focus

I'm reading a number of books at the moment, most likely too many. I think this gives a good indication where my mind has been: in too many places. I'm toning myself down again. Not only has it been a time to regroup on the weekend but also a time to re-choose regarding where my priorities lie. All of us experience this. How to go about your life and what to busy yourself with.

Reading (finally) Napoleon Hill's book (I love the 70s crumpled version I have) it has made me realize hey there's simply no way and no point to dilute my energy to such a point of exhaustion, that one wonders what the heck the point was of starting an activity in the first place. (Anyone recognize this? I bet you do.)

So I am asking myself the question I think many of us tend to forget: what. do. I. really. want. to. do? I'm not talking about just an idea or 'yep that will do'. I'm talking about the kind of conviction that wakes you up in a tizzy of excitement. One that you just KNOW is right and that needs your attention. It keeps you fuelled and running around with a smile on your face.

You see we THINK we know what we want to do, but really we usually want to play and do so many things. Ah how about this? Yes usually it is fun for a while but then later we may realize we had enough. This can be fine or dangerous, the latter mainly when you're sharing the activity with others. So I thought about it as I am much more in favor of working on exciting projects or work that will carry on for more then just one year. (I'm not the quick excited social bunny I used to be.)

Desire.
Purpose.
Thoughts.
Ideas.
Manifestation.
Goals.
Results.
Process.
Achievements.
Growth.
Expansion.

In my case I know for a fact that what I do now, I will not be doing in 5 years time. What I want to do in my entire life are various things that I have trouble choosing a small selection from. So I considered choosing 1 predominant activity and one sub activity and going with that, opposed to 4. That feels better. There are overlaps in my smorgasboard of options so I need to clarify those.

The exercise of the Focus Wheel came to mind. Therefore I've taken an A4 and actually have drawn my desires on it and written the statements. Wishes have nothing to do with it. I'm not talking fluffy bunny-ing in the park here, it's about defogging the mirror and uplifting the goal. (Join me and dot yours down.) The Focus Wheel is great for general statements about how you feel about something.

I figured that my problem has been too many desires, more like fleeting desires or wants instead of longer term pursuits. Many artists have this dilemma. It doesn't mean I want to stick with one desire forever as I know I would like to experience new things once I have mastered one aspect. My current work activities all deserve attention, but how much? And does it really? These continue to be big and good questions. It's all beneficial to go through writing it down and clearing the head (Mooodlies of course stays). I've made a lot of progress over the years but I reckon I could do better.

First I decided to do the focus wheel and then to work out the nitty gritty of eliminating problem areas from my to do list. As quite a few are longer term they need to be divided in steps to process everything more easily. I have always found this challenging: how to keep an eye on so many things with different time frames? It's like playing 3d Chess where multiple games are played at the one time with one board. Exactly. It's not just a matter of cramming it in my agenda or keeping a large wall planner.

So I have started narrowing it down. You know zooming in style. Questions, problems, dilemmas and then its options. This helps to basically help decide to go over all options and determine the solution I like best, then it's far easier to carry the work out and done! This doing and finishing is vital. Self discipline is certainly essential in this process. Finishing small jobs and projects brings both satisfaction and progress. Also it is essential to kick butt in order to move quickly through the river of mud.

So what do we need to add to the list above (that Napoleon Hill also mentioned)? Perseverence and dedication. Not in a flog yourself way, but a focused self steering way. It needn't be hard either as it contributes to the main desire. I believe that one can achieve many goals and ideas-brought-to-life when we are happily and energetically dedicated and we finally have a grasp on our organizing capabilities. Did I mention delegating and outsourcing is beneficial? Do it.

Nico and I have decided to watch less tv, we already stopped watching daily tv shows, I'm talking about the occasional dvd or watching a serie. We are cutting this back too. Why? Because we noticed that instead of relaxing-time we'd still feel tired so it would be more sensible to cut it out alltogether or limit it severely and read a book or do some other work we can enjoy that quiets the mind. (Apparently this zenning of activities helps to relax and create more space for yourself!) What energizes you really? Do that most. Ditch the rest I say.
(It is SO well phrased in this great post here by Scott Scheper as a Zen Master tells him how it's done.)

Which brings me to focusing again and the bottomline: Keeping It Simple Stupid.
Narrowing down the most important things for you and how to manage these are of course essential. Then there's the how-close-do-you-stay-to-your-own-truth? Not the gospel kind altough that could certainly have something to do with it but the kind that says: hang on am I still doing what I want to be doing? If you, like me, have times when you seriously wonder why you do what you do at times then yes it's time for a time out and overhaul of existing beliefs and actions. Sweep it baby!

Our lives in this physical format do not last indefintely, which means we would do well to get a focused grap on our time. So back to the focus wheel: how do you feel about what you are doing? And on time management: how effective are you really in finishing things? And as the Zen Master said: our today's world is so full of distractions that we have trouble distracting ourselves from it. So what do we need to do in order to manage our lives well?

1. Use a weekly planner
2. A year planner (this has my vote)
3. Focus list (generally 3 things for every day segment opposed to 40.)

Combining the desire as the focused feeling and the effective carrying out of that focus brings you results AND satisfaction. It however asks of you to: dedicate yourself and put yourself first. A change in habits and in thinking will bring you more fun!

(note: I will give myself one month to stick with this consistent plan like a fly on poop or a garden gnome on his gardenflowers and then see how the results speak for themselves! I think I will see an increase in effective productivity, results and I will feel better about it too.)

interplay

Light is not just particles or a beam

It is that which lives and breathes

It is all around

Because it is everything.

So it is in you.

Even when something is so small, like a speck,

it still matters as it vibrates into being.

All those amassed beings mold together.

And sing. And also resonate.

It is a most wondrous thing. Can you see it?

The more you discover

the more you appreciate

The more you understand

The more you live "through" it.

It means being an angel.

To be part of ''that'' and to also let it just be... "that".

Worlds move, change, shine,

occasionally collide.

It's all moving.

It's all alive.

It's all light.

So we are all literally the same thing,

as we're made of the same essentials,

whether we're big or small.

Now do you understand?

It's all beautiful.

And we're all part of the same party.

Marcus

change

Today we are going to chat a bit about change. Not that I haven't done so before ;)

I'm going through quite a transformation at the moment and seeing the light or not, one also needs to do the dishes every night and walk the dog. So it is getting into the exhilaration of "knowing" and the act and purposefulness of "doing". I am happy and excited to continue to bring you funny and informative reads. Feedback is always welcome, questions too.

Now then. What are most of us experiencing and wanting at the moment?

You are wanting an expansion of your knowing. Many are troubled. The world as we have known it is changing. Tell your story. Tell of how you wish it to be in your life. Know that you are strong and that your vision (ambition/goals) can be realized. You may be required to leave that which you know to be familiar behind you.

What is holding you back? What is your biggest wish? What do you dream of? What are you afraid of?

Not many want to have their questions answered in fear of what it will tell them. The alternative is to lead your life without knowing. How much fun can there be in that? I have made a start and done things to contribute to that which is good for many. See what you can do. Start a group, build a movement... or simply share what's on your mind and what is waiting in your heart. It's not that hard. You made it so if it is.

Make friends, be open, be courageous, dare to live, cease to be afraid. The time is now and embracing the change that is, is found on your doorstep. Will you take a chance? Open the door and finally immerse in that which is bigger then you. It's exciting and it is fun. Join the Change that we all are becoming.