Wednesday, May 27, 2009

The art of silence

There’s a funny thing about saying sorry. If I feel justified in my opinion I have a very hard time getting those words out just to make polite amends. If I’m wrong and know it I’ll say it straight away. Still, one has to be wise and ‘get over it’. Whatever ‘it’ is. I upset people from time to time. 'It's a funny thing', but not literally. Lately I found I have done it deliberately which is a change. Heck I’ve managed to upset a few people. You know consciously pushing some buttons. It's been interesting. I never used to do that. What does that tell you?

“Bottling up your feelings is not a good way of managing stress. In most cases, this leads to resentment, frustration and pent up anger. If something or someone is bothering you, learn to express your feelings in an open, yet respectful manner”

Uhuh. I think the key is in the respecting. That and learning to shut up at appropriate times? Most of all it can be sensible to not react and just choose to not say a thing at all. Not because I think I'm so right because that actually doens't matter so much, no, more because my energy is better spend elsewhere instead of some arguing. It's simply not worth it. I may still need an additional course in Zenny centering and shuttupping anyway, just to round me off and send me on my merry way.

Why did I tick several people off lately? (I made a lot happy too so my brownie points are sitting brightly on the top shelf.) I think because a) I needed to get it off my chest to feel I could continue to look the other person in the eye and b) I notice I say things when something happens that is either unethical to me or when I have the impression no effort has been made. You see, I rather am in the business of liking people opposed to disliking them. There's a difference between having respect for someone and agreeing with them. I never used to consciously upset people as unharmonious settings gave me stress. Because things change so much it's the more important to choose ones priorities carefully and not be taken off the path we are wanting to follow. I always focussed much on other people and their welfare, Nico and I agreed it's time to focus on ourselves more. We need to be there for us now.

Making clear choices and sticking to my guns makes me more straightforward in my communication. Sorry about the bouts of honesty but it makes me not having to attend anger management classes etc. etc. which is lovely as I enjoy spending my time at home looking after the fuzz man Zodiac and my dear husband. Also I don't have the habit of relying on friends to share stories or vent. So to prevent any inner injury I might as well say things from time to time. Don't worry I say plenty to myself too. Also I am seriously thinking of taking up karate. It may not be Zen but I do like to able to use my muscles well.

1 comment:

  1. hey dear, that's cool!
    centering on the Self, and deepen the feeling
    of being able to get the Force out in the direction you wish it to flow...

    reminds me of a movie: "Being There"....