Have you ever notice men jittering and becoming self conscious sometimes? I’m talking about when they’re caught off guard or get all funny when you praise their abilities. What’s with that? My own husband is often doubting himself and asking confirmation. For the life of me, I don’t understand it as he is an intelligent, gorgeous, talented man with the most integrity and honesty on the planet. I trust him implicitly. He can start his own business if he wants to but is not sure he could. Does it all boil down to the confidence thing?
I’m genuinely baffled with various lovely men not being able to say yeah! I’m fabulous and then doing a gorilla pounce on the chest. I mean of course you meet the usual full-of-himself-maniac. Some just have a demeanor that covers the fact they either feeling alone, have been hurt by an idiot sometime before or feel insecure because they lacked support in the past. But what’s wrong with receiving compliments? Is that a not done thing? Have I missed anything in Kiwiana training? Should I go back for a course in social kiwi antics?
Never the less: some wonderful men have trouble receiving appreciation and in a nutshell, love. Because that’s what attention and appreciation is, a form of love. They wonder what to do with it. They want it, but they fear receiving it and I just don’t get it. I’m happy handing out friendly words and hugs. Not only does it drive me nuts they are pussy footing but it also pains me. It’s like seeing a child craving a good score at school and then cowering in a corner when it’s been given a sticker and an ‘A’. Maybe the Kiwi culture, derived from the English, is more used to keeping a stiff upper lip then receiving straightforward encouragement and appreciation. I know, I must still be too Dutch…
Maybe I should phone immigration today and find out what integration courses they offer. Clearly I missed something.